Dating With GI Issues

Hello cadre, I am Michelle from Unstuck by Michelle. I'm a dating coach and I'm here to talk about the fun, fun, fun dating with GI issues. That is something that is a difficult topic for people because it's a vulnerable topic. It's hard to talk about farting and pooping and stomach issues, upset stomach, indigestion, all of that stuff from the Pepto-Bismol commercials. And when people are dating, they are anxious already, or they can be, right? They can be anxious. It's vulnerable to put yourself out there.

So when you have GI issues and adding that to the mix can make it even harder. So I just wanted to open this dialogue and come on live to say, hey, dating with GI issues can be tough. And it is doable. I have celiac. So I have celiac disease, which is an autoimmune disease that I cannot have gluten. It has come a long way with food in the industry. I've had celiac since I was probably 22 years old and now I'm 40. So lots have changed for the benefit with the times. I also have a disorder called gastroparesis.

And so that is when I eat, my stomach paralyzes, fun stuff. So the treatment for that is low fat, low fiber diet. So I have to have no gluten and low fat, low fiber diet. And dating was always interesting. Like I can share stories. Like I dated, but this one time I was really sick and I didn't know it was my sick. I'm just, you guys, just so you know, Trigger warning for nasty. I'm going to talk about farts and gas and all that stuff. But I was dating and I just had the most upset stomach all the time.

It was kind of like celiac all over again, but I wasn't having gluten. Just had terrible gas every day. When I say terrible gas, it's not like, oh, like who farted? It's like, what? And I was dating this dude and I was like, gosh, like I can't, it's too soon. I can't let him know this about me. So, and this is not the best option, but if I knew we were hanging out, I would really be minimizing what I ate because I didn't want to upset my stomach, right? I wanted to be able to hang out freely and not have to worry about my stomach.

And it just made it really tough. And I ended up going to the doctor and kind of figuring out some stuff, gastroparesis stuff, right? I wasn't following the proper diet. I didn't know at the time. But it was just, and people don't get it, right? People without GI issues, they don't get it. They're like, oh, if you're going to have some gluten, are you just going to get farty? No, if I have gluten, I'm going to throw up for hours until it turns into bile and blood, right? Like it's not fun, it's not silly, and it's not unreal.

This is real stuff. And with dating, like you have to tell people these things, some of these things, right? when people would ask, I don't like, so as someone with some food stuff, going out to eat is not fun for me all the time. I have my restaurants that I like, and I don't just love to try new restaurants and do new things like that. Like, that's not for me. And so when dating, if people were like, oh, here, I'd be like, hey, I would know where I wanted to go. So hot tip, my GI people, know where you want to go.

know your safe places to eat, know your safe things on the menu, and make that non-negotiable. Hey, I have some GI stuff, so this is a place I'd love to go. Let's meet here at six. You don't even have to say the GI stuff, right? That's once you've gotten to know them a little more. I dated a guy once who literally on our like second or third date, he was like, I don't know if this is going to work because I really like pizza and it's important to me to have someone that I could share pizza with.

Excuse me? And in my head I was like, this isn't going to work because you said that. It didn't work. So I think people with GI issues sometimes can make it their personality. Right? Not everything has to be about your GI issues and all dates don't have to be around food. It's easy when your life is like wrapped up in food stuff, like what you eat matters, impacts you differently to make that just the forefront of your brain. And it doesn't have to be, okay? So that's something to remember with dating.

It doesn't have to be in the forefront. of your brain and it doesn't need to be something you need to talk about all the time or over explain to people. The right people will get it, okay? The right people will want to learn about it. When I dated my now husband, it was just our anniversary yesterday. Happy month anniversary yesterday. And I said, hey, yo, I have celiac. Like I told him right away, I have celiac. Gluten's not for me. I get really sick. What did that boy do? Like, he's like, well, let me go through everything in my kitchen, right?

He is on it, right? And that was like a very normal response. Like, I don't want you to get sick. Like, where can we go? Like, he was very cool and understanding about it. That pizza guy, that was weird. And you know what? Maybe he does love pizza that much. So I wanted to come on here and talk about GI issues because I think they're more common now. Sorry, I don't have a stand for my thing today. I'm at my office. This is my office. I didn't show you much of it. So I'm just kind of holding my phone.

So I'm really sorry if it's shaky. But one, there are things. We know that the GI, right? One, there's MNG clinic in Minnesota, MNGI. And I really do recommend figuring it out. For me, I'm very lucky. because my celiac was diagnosed via blood test, upper stomach endoscopy confirmed, two of them, and I have celiac. The only treatment, don't eat gluten, right? That was like pretty, I was like, okay, done, gastroparesis. I had a stomach emptying study, stomach emptying study, showed I have delay in my emptying and I was diagnosed low fat, low fiber, done.

It is not that clear cut for a lot of people with GI issues and I know that. Right? There's elimination diets, low FODMAP, all this stuff that's just overwhelming. And you can be like, OK, I once I thought I was allergic to garlic, I was like, it's garlic. Cut garlic out. I felt good. And then it came down again. I was like. But what we do know, undoubtedly, is that stress makes it worse. Right? Stress, the gut is, they call it your second brain. A lot of serotonin comes from your gut and your gut is related to your nervous system.

And when we are stressed and anxious, which I get it, it's justifiable, it makes sense. But when we hyper fixate on it and get in our heads, it makes it worse. And so with dating, my advice would be is to really just work, like work on regulating your nervous system. right? Finding different breath work exercises, movement, stuff like that, that's going to help you just to feel more calm in your body overall. And the second thing is, I know with insurance and everything I say this, but work with a doctor to figure out what's going on.

Work with a doctor to figure out what's going on. Like don't play doctor yourself. Don't go on all of these online things. Oh, they have these, they have this. Oh, I'm going to try this magic vitamin or this or that. Like work with professionals and figure out what is going on because maybe there's a treatment and just putting that out there. So with dating, again, you don't have to blast it on your dating profile. I have celiac, I have irritable bowel syndrome. Sometimes I crap my pants. Wanted to say those things on there and like it is important to share that with somebody like hey just so with my husband like he knew I had celiac but I don't think he knew how much gastroparesis impacted me or just how sensitive I was in other ways and we went back to my house once early on in dating a small condo echoey condo And I can't believe I'm sharing this, but I went to the bathroom and I knew it wasn't gonna be good.

And he was in the living room and it was just like blazing, blazing, blazing, diarrhea, loud. Yep, And literally I was in there dying. I'm like, this is it. This is it. This is the end of my relationship, right? And he sends me a text and he said, except of course I have my phone in the bathroom. But he sends me a text and was like, are you okay? And I was like, yes, yeah, I am. And then I walked out. I was just like, hi. He's like, wow. I was like, yeah, so this is me. Welcome to my life. And so right away, if you have GI issues, like the people will find out.

We can't hide it. And the right person for you, so this is another thing, remember, the right person for you is gonna be with you through it. They will be right. If he would have left and never like how silly would that have been, right? The right person is going to see you through it. So a few things to take away is don't make your GI issues your personality. You can date with GI issues. Not everything has to be centered around food or drinks. There's plenty of things you can do. Take some initiative, take some control, have your safe places and plan something that feels good for your gut situation.

Second thing, go to the doctor, figure it out if you can. Third thing, work on things that calm your body because your mind and your gut go together. And 4th thing, the right person is going to be there and be there through it with you and love you through it and be able to make silly about it with you and take it seriously. So again, I am Michelle on Stuff by Michelle. You can follow me on TikTok, on Instagram, and I'm here to talk about everything dating, even the gross stuff. If there's any topics you want to see more of, shoot me a DM on any of those accounts, and I'd love to talk about stuff.

So have a lovely, lovely Thursday.