Coffee Chat w/ Dr. D

Hello, y'all. Okay. I'm Doctor Leslie Davis. If you guys don't know me, I am a relationship therapist and I am a survivor of toxic relationships. And speaking of those toxic relationships, I could not have done that without my sisters. Not my blood sisters only have one. But I'm talking about my friends, my sisterhood. And so today I want to talk to you about the power of sisterhood. But before I get into that, here's a quick story about my coffee today. So what you see here, this is supposed to be a breve.

I don't know if you know what that is. I just came across that recently, but Starbucks did not know how to make that. So what I'm drinking is basically, I guess, regular coffee with some cream. And that's not what I asked for. So if you ever go to Starbucks and get a breve, make sure you tell them exactly how to make it. I don't think they know. But back to this topic of sisterhood. So this month is women's History Month. And I definitely want to honor the sisters in my life. I want to honor the strong women that I know.

I want to honor the ones that had my back and held me up. Hello, everybody. That's coming in. And so I am going to share a little bit about me. So if you don't know, I am the only child. I was raised as an only child, so I always wanted sisters but never really had the opportunity to have that experience. So my friends became my sisters. And in my early stages of young adulthood, I came across some really bad relationships, even into my thirties. And if it wasn't for my sisters, I don't know what I would have done.

I would have probably struggled. And so there are plenty of reasons to have a sisterhood. And fellows, for those of you who are listening, like this applies to you as well. I think we all need connection, and there's power and connection when we can join a group of some sort. So I do want to shout out one particular sister who is also part of Cadre, Doctor Charisse Johnson. So, just a funny story about how we met. And I think this applies to all of my very close friends, which I don't know why this is, but most of my female friendships started because I took a risk and ignored my negative feelings about that person without me knowing who they were and what they were all about.

And so, hey, Doctor Charryse, I'm talking about you right now. But I took a risk and I reached out to them and found a way to connect with them. And so during my PhD journey, there was doctor Charisse in all of my classes for the most part. And I remember seeing her on the zoom calls or whatever we're using at the time for classes and just watching her. I'm like, who is this girl? Like, she's so smart. And I thought she was the ta because she was always getting called on. And I just was really impressed by her.

But I was also wondering, like, who does she think she is, right? And there was one day when I reached out to her. We were in a class, and I think we just automatically connected. And ever since then, we've been. I call her my PhD bestie. But if I had not taken that chance to connect with her and ask her a question, I would have missed out on this beautiful friendship. There's some other friends that I've developed, especially in adulthood. So there's another friend that I have that in high school, it's another black girl.

And I don't know why, but most of the black girls at my school did not like me. I went to a very small town high school. Most kids there were white. And so I was always the black student that kind of stood out from the rest of them. I was always in, I was the only black cheerleader. I was in these advanced classes, and I was the only black student in those classes. And so there are other black students who I thought didn't like me. Come to find out, I came across this particular friend who is now another one of my besties in adulthood.

We were in similar careers, and we just kind of crossed each other in the courthouse when I worked in child welfare. And if I had not reached out to her, I would have missed out on a beautiful friendship that I have with her now. So after spending time with her as adults, we later discovered that she was actually intimidated by me. She was impressed by me because I was a cheerleader and she thought I was really cool. And she didn't want to talk to me because she was scared. And same thing for me, I didn't want to talk to her because I thought she didn't like me, but she really did.

So if I had not ignored my negative feelings, I would have missed out on these beautiful relationships that. That I have. And so there's other benefits to having a sisterhood and one that I think is so powerful. I love to tell people that empowered women empower women. And so there's scripture that talks about iron sharpens iron. And the sisters that I have in my life, these very close friendships that I have, they make me better. They make me stronger. They make me see myself in a way that if it was just me by myself, I would miss out on the beauty of who I am.

These sisters that I have in my life, they uplift me when I don't have the strength to do it myself. When I've had some dark times, when I've had lonely times, even when I didn't want to reach out. There are sisters that have been a part of my life who took the chance and reached out to me. They stepped up, and they held me up. When there's times when I was crying, when I was, you know, tired of being alone, not being in a relationship, they were my backbone. And so if you are struggling with loneliness, if you're struggling to connect, if you are even struggling to get along with other women, I just want to encourage you that it's possible.

You just have to let down your walls and know that you're not just receiving from someone. So it's not about creating a relationship with another woman, that you're just looking to get something from them. You know, sisterhood is about uplifting each other. And so think about how you can connect with another woman that might need you, that might need to hear your story, just so she can know that she's not alone. So another sister that I want to talk about today is Miss Brittany. She is also tuning in today.

Hi, brittany. She is one of my younger sisters, and I think we connected. We worked together at head start. Her journey is so beautiful. Where we started working together, I just loved her energy. I loved her vibe, but I was also like, who does she think she is? But we connected over coffee. We both love Starbucks. And so I remember taking Starbucks trips, and I remember the first time we. I have a picture of us, like, the day we became friends was going to this local coffee shop, and that was unexpected.

I wasn't trying to be her friend. It just happened because I opened myself up to sharing a part of who I am, and she did the same. And then we always. That's just our thing now. We do get coffee together, but this friendship has evolved. I feel like I'm her big sister, and I'm so grateful for her support in my career and all the things that I do. So her journey of being part of my life, you know, I've been able to pour into her where she's been strengthened through different relationships, even in her career, where she has started from being a coworker to being a volunteer of my organization, hearts and faith to now being a board member of my organization, hearts and faith, and she's also my personal assistant.

And it's such a beautiful relationship that we've developed. And so I'm so grateful for her. So, again, shout out to all the women for Women's History Monthly. And shout out to all the women who uplift each other, who are willing to put their feelings aside, their negative feelings aside, and just step up and be a friend to someone. I think friendship is something that is not welcomed as much. There's even songs about no new friends. I think that's the dumbest thing. We need each other. We need connection.

We need to know that we belong. That is a basic need that all humans have is belonging. And so if we don't allow ourselves to be part of a sisterhood, what are we missing out on? I know for myself, I would be missing out on emotional support. I would be missing out on seeing my femininity that I would not see because most of my other friends are guys. So I don't get to see that hanging around other guys. I would miss out on just feeling like I could be myself, my true self, the woman that I am. So shout out to all of my friends out there listening for those who are tuning in.

If you are wanting to connect with your friends, I encourage you to do that today. Send a text to your sisters. And I do want to shout out a new app that I just came across recently called Agape. Agape is a way for you to connect where you can answer questions that you wouldn't normally ask, and then that person gets to respond. And so I've been able to do that with a couple of my. My friends recently, and I've seen them in a different light, but I've also been able to see myself because it does go back into your memories.

And so there are friends that I've had for 20 plus years where we can share these memories together and to see who we used to be and who we've become because we've stayed in each other's lives. I think it's beautiful. So, yeah, somebody said no new friends. We change over time, and so do our friendships. Absolutely. And I mentioned in our, the last live, I believe, like, it's okay to let go of old friendships. It's okay to let that die, really. If it's dead, just let it go. There's no need to always revive something that's just gone.

So, yeah, I hope you guys are having a wonderful day. Please get your coffee. See you later. Bye.