Mental Health Matters 🧠 - Defuse from Unwanted but Natural Emotions

What's up, folks? Welcome to another episode of Mental Health Matters. I'm Evan, your resident mental health and addiction therapist, where we talk about matters involving mental health, addiction. I answer any of the questions that you have, even if they're not fully relevant. You know, I could always answer something. But anyway, so we have another episode. Every other week we do an ask me anything. But this week and every other week we do a topic. So I prepared a topic today. So we'll see who joins, see if we get some of our regulars to give us updates on their situation, and we can all hang out.

And in the meantime, I can go over something today, which is a therapy skill, and I'll give a little bit of background on it. It is called cognitive defusion, not dif. It is def d fusion to unfuse. So I'll give a little presentation on that, and maybe that's something you could do and try out in your day to day to see if that would be helpful. All right, we got Amy. What's up? What's going on? Recovery cafe, frog town. That's what I'm saying. We got some of the regulars coming, checking in, see how y'all are doing.

Good morning to you as well, Jules. Y'all are right on time. I love it. You guys are awesome. So, yeah, let's see what we got going on. Good morning. Good morning. So if you have any questions, put them on. I'll take a break. Or comments. I'll take a break. Little breaks in my presentation here. So the skill we're going to learn today is called cognitive defusion to unfuse from unwanted thoughts and feelings, or the feelings that come from these thoughts. Now, sometimes we call them negative thoughts.

Sometimes we call them sticky thoughts. Basically, things that come to your mind that, well, rain on your parade, affect your mood. And we could talk about, too, where those may come from. One way of referring to them, and I like this way, is called unhelpful thoughts. I have this thing I like to call the helpful test. So when you have any question on. Okay, is this something I should do? Is this something I should say? Is this. Ultimately, the witness says, is this going to be helpful or harmful to whatever my goals, values?

Because sometimes it seems overly simplistic, but many times we can get lost in the weeds about certain types of actions that we may or may not take. So, for example, I have some clients who really struggle with how the news and current events make them feel. And so one thing I've done with them is, like, really looking at is this actually beneficial? Because sometimes we do these things, and we think that there's a purpose. We think we need to do them. We think they're important. But when you really analyze them, you realize that, in fact, these things are not helpful.

It's actually causing harm. It affects your mood. And when you're not in a good mood or you're not feeling as good as you could, or you're feeling anxious or depressed over certain things, well, that's going to have consequences for you and others in your life. So that's just one example. So, in this exercise, or not exercise, but just understanding this concept and some of the exercises you can do, the goal is to unfuse from those thoughts. Now, let's see. Yeah, so it's a technique. So, diffusion is a technique to help people reduce the impact of unhelpful thoughts, to see thoughts.

And the purpose of this is to see thoughts as mere words or images, not truths or commands. So, essentially, before we do anything, unless it's just a completely impulsive, reactive type of thing, you know, it usually starts with a thought, and the impulse may come after the thought. That thought could be something like, oh, you know, I need to go. I need to do more work. I need to call this person. I need to tell. I have to write this email to tell someone how I feel. I have to. I have to work out.

I have to look a certain way. I have to, I have to, I have to. It would just be one example of certain thoughts that can proceed, you know, doing things that may not be in your interest or just making you feel not all that good. So those are the types of thoughts that it's important to understand are not necessarily true. So we have all sorts of different thoughts that come into our mind all the time, but the question is, which are the ones that we latch on to, which are the ones that help us form these narratives, positive or negative?

So it's really those thoughts that we cling on to that have a historical base from our experiences, and that can be negative. Past experiences, what you were told growing up, traumas, all these different things, adverse experiences that inform our view of ourselves in the world. So act. Acceptance. Commitment therapy, which is what this concept comes from, is a form of cognitive therapy. So, like, you've heard of cognitive behavioral therapy. So it's similar, but it takes a little bit of a different approach, less about combating these thoughts, and it's a little bit more about diffusing from them to, you know, in some ways lean into them, but also detach to not fight them, wrestle with them.

So that's just kind of the view that this philosophy, this modality takes. So common diffusion technique. So, you know, first, you know, to understand cognitive diffusion, let's talk about fusion, which is the state of being entangled with thoughts and treating them as reality, which we talked about. And then diffusion is introducing various techniques to create space between thoughts and the thinker. So how do we create space between them? Being able to see them for what they are, to try to detach emotionally from them and have maybe a healthier relationship with them.

So one thing people do is, like, encouraging folks to observe their thoughts as if they're separate from themselves. So the way I think about it is, you know, we have these thoughts, and, like, when you imagine these thoughts that are in your mind, where are they coming from? Like what? Like, actual direction. Like, when I have thoughts, do they come from here? I don't think so. Like, for me, at least, they seem to come from here, right? They come from, like, the back of the mind. You know, you're people.

Like, what? You know, they. They come from within me. So, like, maybe they come in one ear. Like, they come in one ear. They come from the back, but they're not usually not coming from here because that's the outside world. So the thoughts are coming from within. So when we start to take a step away from our thoughts, it's like turning around and taking a step back and trying to see them and detach them and actually see them. And to see them, you're analyzing them. You're able to see them for what they are.

You're able to under. Try to understand them, where they come from, and actually take a step back and know that these voices, these thoughts are not necessarily you. So that's one way I look at observing the thoughts and separating yourself from them, naming the story. So label recurring thoughts or stories. Right? So this could be in the form of core beliefs like, I'm not good enough. Oh, we got that story. I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable, I'm not smart. I mean, so we have all these narratives that form, that create distress, and so trying to identify.

Okay, what story does this contribute to? And over time, as you start to understand it and you start to have distance, you start to see how it's not true, because a lot of times, these things are at the very least, distorted, but very often not true whatsoever. Right. Understanding that they come from certain experiences, those traumas, those adverse experiences of your past. Or maybe you're just someone who's prone to be more self critical. And everything goes from there. So naming the story, that could be helpful.

There's a technique called the silly voice technique. So suggest saying a distressing thought in a silly voice or singing it from a different perspective. So if it's like you're no good, like, think about it like a helium balloon, or it's like you're no good, you know? And it kind of, like, takes away some of the power from this voice. These little, like, kind of mental tricks to help you see things for what they really are or to right size them. Kind of like in the cartoons or something, or a movie with the bad guy, and they're somehow able to shrink them down and they get mad and they're like, you haven't heard the last of me.

Maybe like, plankton from, there is a deeper voice. Plankton from SpongeBob. So, yeah, the silly voice repetition. So repeat a thought over and over until it loses its meaning and impact. So this is almost like a form of exposure. So, you know, if you just kind of keep looking at the thought, let it repeat. I mean, this could kind of go either way. You want to be careful with this one. But when you face that thought, it kind of loses its power over you because you hear it, you run from it, you wrestle it, but instead of just facing it and let it repeat.

And then eventually you're like, okay, great. So then physicalization. So visualize the thought as an object or character creating mental distance, and that character becomes something outside of you. Love it. Laughter and humor. Yeah, okay, exactly. It is kind of funny when you personify something in a funny way and it loses its power. So, yeah, so these are all just kind of little mental tricks. So you have visualizing the character. And I do this with clients. I was doing this with one client who has really severe childhood trauma and really struggles with emotional regulation.

And, you know, he would always reference this, like, this voice, this part of him that just was just like this, almost like a dark entity. And I've seen this with clients before where they have this, like, they see this as, like, this dark entity. And for this client, it was just this hurt individual where everything was about how terrible he is and how terrible, like, just. Just like the most negative and distressed entity you can imagine. And so this would keep recurring. And eventually I'm like, okay, let's take a look at this one particular voice.

Let's give it a name. And so I had the client give it a name. I had the client talk about it. Where does it come from? What purpose does it serve? Both good and bad? How does it have an impact on his life? And really try to draw boundaries and encapsulate what this voice is, because otherwise it gets entangled with everything. And then it all just seems like it's one thing, and then that becomes your conception of you, right? Where really it's like, this is just maybe part of you, a really distinct part of you.

And then looking at the other side, you know, this other part of you that maybe is more positive, that has a different set of values. And having him give a name to that as well. So then as he goes through his day, he can start to understand, oh, like, these are the types of thoughts that, you know, like, fill in the name he gave it. I'll just say it was like Kevin versus, like, Julius or something. I don't know. But that's one way of helping. So there's a couple different exercises. One is the leaves on a stream.

So it's basically kind of getting into a calm, maybe like almost like a meditation, and really taking deep breaths and giving yourself this visualization where you're sitting next to a stream. And as you're sitting there, it's peaceful. You could see leaves, maybe even sticks, branches that are just kind of floating down and visualizing those as your thoughts as they come. And as soon as they come, you're allowed to let them go, that you don't have to grasp onto them. So imagining as those thoughts come in, there are leaves on a stream.

There's another one here that saw that it was recommended, which is hands as thoughts. I remember learning about this one, but I had to ask it again. So here. So, you know, a lot of these are metaphors. So it would be like. So this is the hands as thoughts. It's like sitting comfortably with your feet flat on the ground and your hands resting at your lap. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Imagine your hands represent your thoughts. Visualize any negative or distressing thoughts written on your palms.

Slowly raise your hand. Bring them close to your face, covering your eyes. Notice how this action affects your ability to see and engage with your surroundings. This represents cognitive fusion, where your thoughts are so close that they obstruct your view of reality. So then discussing how having your hands thoughts so close impacts your ability to interact with the world around you, such as seeing others, engaging activities, focusing on tasks, how these things can be blinding. Highlight how being fused with thoughts can limit your awareness and create a narrow focus.

Then creating distance, slowly moving your hand away from your face, extending your arms out in front of you. As you do this, notice how your view becomes clearer, more expansive. You can now see your thoughts, but they no longer obstruct your view. Emphasize that your thoughts hands are still present, but now you have some distance from them. The distance represents the cognitive diffusion where you can observe your thoughts without being dominated by them. And then, you know, we would encourage people to practice this as a metaphor in your life.

When you notice you're fused with your thoughts, imagine moving your hands away from your face. Create distance, and observe them without judgment. So the more you do some of these exercises, really, the more repetitions, the more you instill within them these representations. And then as you go forward, whether it's naming this one set of voices that. That form these narratives, or it's the leaves or it's the hand, you're able to use these things. And really, in the end, the goal of them is to, well, kind of make it so you're a little bit happier, that the weather in your mind gets a little bit nicer.

Less rain, less wind. All of the things that can make your day just a little less good than it could be. So, anyway, hope you got something from that. Before we go, if you have any questions about this or anything else related to mental health, but just know that you can reach out to me whether that is through our community feed, whether that is through anything else, for that matters, the community feed, commenting on my videos or just showing up, asking me a question. Do that and I'll answer it on our next one.

Yeah. Alright, folks, it's been awesome. It's been real. I hope you try this one out. And I will too. Alright, take care.