Leading with Love💕

Anila here and I am now 24 minutes late to my 230 leading with love. But oddly, I was only ten minutes late and the video I just took didn't save. So I'm here for a redo. And first, about me my name is Anila. I am one of the co founders of a company called Habit Aware, based in Minneapolis. I have numerous mental health conditions, but the one that habitaware is focused on helping support people with is body focused repetitive behaviors. These are self soothing mechanisms gone awry. So things like compulsive hair pulling, which is trichotillomania, compulsive skin picking, which is dermatillomania and nail biting, which is an ecophagia, along with a whole host of other different body focused repetitive behaviors.

But those are the ones that are invention habitaware keen to smart bracelet can, you can be used to build awareness of these trance like conditions. And with awareness, you can make change and lead with love. Hi Shannon. Welcome. So we're doing a redo of my leading with love that was supposed to be at 230. I hopped in here at 239 and that video didn't save. So we're back again to do it again. m. i am sitting at the dining table with my seven year old son who is home from summer camp, and I am helping him print out coloring pages and draw a Halloween themed house on this coloring page.

And I look up at the time and it's 239 and I'm like, oh bleep. I cursed in front of my seven year old. I'm supposed to do my leading with love. And I ran upstairs with my phone and I turned it on and I said, sometimes leading with love happens a little late because I was late. And it was a beautiful metaphor for still showing up, for still reminding yourself that even if you may start a reaction to something with anger, with fear, with anxiety, that the moment you notice you've done that, to take that pause and lead with love, that it's never too late to lead with love.

Now, I was late today to lead with love, but it was a great lesson in showing that it's never too late to lead with love. And so I thought I would just come back on here. I probably said it way more eloquently before, but I wanted to come back on here to see if maybe this time the video will save so that others can get this message to lead with love, to move more slowly, to recognize when we're being triggered and getting off our baseline and to allow ourselves to slow down and shift back into a frame of love.

Especially when it's someone that's trying to get a rise out of us. Maybe a disgruntled customer or an angry driver on the road, or I, you know, someone at a restaurant or someone in line at the store. Hello, Poi AB 204825 welcome, welcome, welcome. Please let me know in the comments where you're coming in from and what you'd like to know about leading with love. My message for today stems around me being late to my session today because I was just preoccupied with my to do list and my son sitting next to me, wanting to create with me.

And so I chose in that moment I was leading with love with him, but forgot my responsibilities, to lead with love with you all. And so as soon as I realized, I came and I ran up to my closet here where I hang out with y'all. And I. My first words out were in my previous recording that didn't save or sometimes leading with love starts late. Just that duality of sometimes my session's gonna start late. And sometimes in our daily lives, we may start with one frame of mind and reactive path. And when we realize we're on it, we can pause and we can literally jump to the leading with love path and that little space of time in between the two where love starts a little bit late.

We lead with love a little bit later than we may have, then we could have. At least we get there. And it happens when it needs to happen. So that was just the thought that I wanted to leave you with today. This idea that sometimes, leading with love, it's not easy for it to be the first, the automatic, the go to. But with practice, with awareness, with slowing down, the more you do it, just like that three point shot, the more you do it, the closer you are to doing it with your eyes closed. So thanks for taking time with me and I'll see you in the Cadre sphere.

Please, if you can give me a comment or a note of anything else you'd like to hear from my life experience or just questions in general. And I'll see you soon. Bye. Hey, everybody, this is paella. I was having a little bit issues here, so I apologize for being a little late. And this is paella from your own pathway, where I'm all about empowering you to forge your own path and to own that path. So let's get started today. Today is a kind of cloudy Wednesday afternoon here. I know that a lot of us are probably coming back from vacation from the fourth I hope you all had a wonderful and restful weekend.

Or not. Probably with a lot of family. I know that a lot of us or a lot of you probably traveled out of town and traveled out of town or probably stayed in town and did a lot of outside stuff. So I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. So let's. I actually had something else that I wanted to talk today about. So, however, I had into a conversation with someone that kind of, hello from Vermont. Welcome here in Minnesota. I'm here in Minnesota. So thank you for joining. I think this is the first time that I've seen here.

So thank you so much for joining me today. So for those that are new or who haven't had a chance to watch my live streams, I'm all about your own pathway. And this is a very holistic. Your own pathway is very holistic. It's all about your physical, your mental, your psychological, your intellectual, your financial, whatever it is that you want to work on. So when I thought about your own pathway, I really thought about my own journey and how. How I had to really take accountability and how to take accountability for the life that I wanted to live.

So your own pathway is all about that. So thank you for joining me. So, you know, in previous. In previous live streams, if you haven't had a chance to watch it, I'll just give kind of, like, a little bit of review. So I talked about boundaries. I talked about how you got to heal. I talked about, like, the little T's and the big T's. I talked about checking your own boxes of success and how boxes are there to kind of help us, not help us, but sometimes are there to kind of tell us, hey, you got to do this, you got to do that.

If you don't do that, you are behind. And I said, no, no. You create your own boxes. You check your own boxes. And the boxes that you know what? You kick them to the curb. And I also talked about challenging the status quo. So today's episode, we're going to get a little real. We're going to be a little sassy, and we're going to keep it. We're talking how it is. And part of being in your own pathway is being real, being honest, and saying things and doing things that not everybody's gonna support you in.

And now that you did anything wrong, it's because you are doing whatever it is that you want, and not everybody can handle that. And so I don't know if any of you, you know, most of us know Taylor Swift and not that you have to be a swiftie or anything. One of her songs is, you know, haters are gonna hate, hate, hate. And today we're gonna talk about that. We're gonna talk about haters and how they're gonna hate, hate, hate. Because when you start living for yourself, you start being authentic. You're doing everything right for yourself.

What, whatever it is, you know, you're being consistent, you're showing up for yourself. You're not making excuses. You are doing what is best for you. You are no longer reacting to other people, and you are poised, and you really worked on yourself. You think everybody will be happy for you. That, oh, yeah, this is the new you. You know, look at you, you know, you've lost all that weight or, you know, you moved out of that neighborhood and you are this new person. You think everybody's going to rejoice.

However, that's not the case. And sometimes part of this journey is learning how to deal with haters. And I know this is hard to hear, but congratulations, you have haters. It means that you're doing something right. Because when you do something right, other people are projecting their insecurities onto you, and they're gonna say really mean things. Sometimes very nasty things. Sometimes they're gonna try to make you feel bad. Sometimes you're gonna feel so isolated and you're thinking, what the heck did I do?

I didn't. I didn't do anything. I just, like, I just did what I wanted to do. I just stopped making excuses and I just created a plan. I showed up. I show up for myself. And why are people angry at me? Why are people making comments at me? Why is this happening? And sometimes it's because people are just hating because of your success, of your confidence, of your self assurance, of your intelligence, of the fact that you won't tolerate toxicity anymore or the fact that you won't tolerate B's. Some people want the old you because the new you, they can't ruffle anymore.

And when you go on this journey of your own pathway, one of the things that you will probably learn how to deal with, have to learn how to deal with are haters. And haters is not about you. It's about them. And always remember that they are projecting their insecurities, their scarcities, their unhealed trauma onto you. And when someone does that, remember to always have your boundaries. This is why, when I talked about boundaries, they are the foundation of really forging your own path and owning that path, because you're going to have to learn how to protect yourself, your energy, your time, who you surround yourself with.

Because some of those will be haters. And unfortunately, from what I've learned and from my own experiences and working with clients, sometimes your own haters could be the people closest to you. It could be even your own family. And that's hard to hear. That is really hard to hear because you want everybody to be supportive of you on your journey. And the reality is not everybody is going to go with you on that journey. Some people will be left behind and you will continue to move forward. And because you will continue to move forward, those ones that are left behind will.

Will say things to you. Will they say things to you in front of you? Maybe not. They probably say behind you. But remember, they say behind you because that's where they are. You're in front. People in front of you will never talk anything about you. People behind you will talk about you to other people who are behind. And so building resilience, building your boundaries, learning how to deal with the haters and trolls, especially in the age of social media, we have a lot of trolls. And think about it.

Will that troll ever say this to your face? No. They hide behind a screen and, you know, keyboard warriors, because that's all there will ever be. I promise you. Happy, positive people who have things going on for them will never hate and will never troll. As a matter of fact, they will be very encouraging. They will wish you the best. And sometimes they will even say, what can I do to help you? And when you level up and starting your journey, whatever journey that is that you are going through, learning to deal with negative people is something that will be essential.

Not essential, but will be part of your love and love journey. And remember to trust yourself, your intuition. Know that you did nothing wrong wanting best for you. There's nothing wrong with that. The sad truth is not everybody wants the best for you. Why? Because sometimes they lose access to you. They. You're no longer convenient. You're no longer at their beck and call. Sometimes they don't get to take advantage of you anymore because you and that person are no longer in that circle. And that is a reflection on them.

They're thinking, oh, okay, this person has leveled up. They've done what they're supposed to do. They're not making excuses. And here I am. I'm making excuses. I choose to be a victim of my circumstance. Instead of healing, instead of doing better, instead of taking accountability, I'm going to be over here and say, I don't have control. And this person, which is you, you've chosen to say, you know what? I do have control. I do have accountability, and I have free will, and I'm going to do what is best for me.

And so just the level of thinking and the emotional awareness puts you and the other person already behind. So again, learning to deal with haters is part of the process, part of the journey, and it's not about you, it's about them. And quite frankly, it is not your responsibility that they're feeling this way. You are responsible for your own emotions and your actions, and you did what you had to do. So remember that. And they them, it is up to them to decide what they have to do. Because when you are responsible for yourself and you do what it is that is best for you, you're not going to have time to deal with other people's baggage or emotional unhealed trauma or whatever it is that is keeping them stuck.

You're moving on and that's all that you can do. One of the things that I do is I write a blog, and I write a blog for my website. One day I was writing this article and I said, you know, how do you deal with haters? Because I actually had an interaction where someone made a comment at me. I was like, you know what? I am going to use this experience and write about how haters react to you. And at times there's going to be accusations. It can come out as a joke, but you know that the joke was intentional to try to get under your skin.

And I was talking to my nephew and I was just like, I was just asking him, I'm like, how do you deal with haters? And, you know, a nine year old is so wise and simple in ways that we forget to. We forget that children know a lot too. And when I asked him, he's like, auntie, you just ignore them. I was like, ah, really? It's that simple, right? And I thought about it. I'm like, yeah, it really is that simple. You just ignore them because your energy is so precious. Your time and your time and energy is so precious that you just ignore them.

Because what does it even do? Or what does it mean when you allow those haters to get to you? That's what they want to do. So haters are gonna hate, hate, hate. And you keep going, you keep marching and you keep on in that path. So that is all for today, and thank you so much for joining me from Vermont. I hope you are having a great afternoon. I think you guys are an hour ahead of us. So enjoy Vermont. Thank you for joining me today. And I will be back next week, same time, same day, date, hoping that there are no issues trying to enter into a live stream.

So sometimes there are some logistics and you just gotta go with it. And I'm learning to go with it. So thank you for joining me. And as always, this is Paya, where I empower you to forge your own path and to own that path. So I'll see you next week and take care.