Gems of wisdom from Tik Tok MeeMaw

Ready or not, right? Good morning, everyone. Hello, hello, hello. Some mornings, you don't have time to dry your hair before you present on cadre. Yeah, this is what we call natural air drying. How are you today? I'm going to do something that Dr. Sharice does and ask you to rate your week so far. Between zero and 10, zero being the lowest of the low, by being mid-line and 10 being terrific. And you can even use a plus or minus sign, maybe you're a seven plus this week in your psyche, your mental health, your spiritual wellbeing, your general mood, your energy level, maybe you're a six minus, maybe you're a solid three or four, rate your week for me in the comments.

Hi, Rick. We have lots of great content as usual coming up in progress here today. Rick, thank you for your Tuesday live. I really enjoyed that interaction with the group and with you. And how many-- What's the difficulty studying my image here? There we go. I think that's all right. Yeah, so I have a few things here. I think I would lead with my week, rating my week, and I would call it a seven plus, in spite of many difficult things, because I'm learning resilience. I'm learning it because of our friend and contributor, Rick, because of other cadre presenters who speak of resilience and bouncing back and leaning on one another for support and friendship and camaraderie, and being okay with not being okay.

JC says that a lot, and I appreciate him so much for that, because he allows us to be real and reminds us to be real, to be human, live in our own skin. So I'd say seven plus, Rick, you're a five plus plus. So good thing. So I just wanted to lead with my biggest challenge, and I had a few of them. In fact, I'm not even gonna touch the deepest and most painful thing. I'm gonna tell you more about an accident I had, in which I emerged safely, unscathed, not even a cut or an abrasion, and thank the Lord for that.

A tree fell on my car while I was driving on Tuesday morning. I had all kinds of plans as we do. I had a dental appointment. I was going to see my mom. Today is caregiver Thursday. I wrote down some things here. caregiver Thursday, and so I like to talk about mama, June Bug, who is 94 years of age and lives in a nursing facility, and I live about an hour and a half north of her in Erie, Pennsylvania. I was planning to go see her for a care meeting on Tuesday, all of these things, and a tree hit my windshield while I'm driving down a dirt road, and it smacked so hard.

You guys, I thought it was a deer. The thud just felt like I had hit something organic, and I had, it had hit me, the organic mass of a tree limb. Well, as soon as I gathered my wits about me, came to a full stop, no cars around me. Again, thank the Lord for that. I turned my vehicle around only to discover a tree limb in like three parts, three big old chunks on the road, and one of those chunks had hit my passenger side. Another blessing. If it had to hit my car, it didn't hit in front of my face.

It hit on the passenger side. Nobody else in the car except my dog, and she was fine. And so, I'm not gonna go into a lot of detail, but there were little bits of grace and mercy along the way from people that I appreciate. I had been hit by the tree limb in front of a farm property. So once I knew my vehicle was drivable, injured, damaged, yes, but drivable. I drove up the driveway and I knocked on the door. This sweet elderly couple came to the door, sweet people. And the gentleman said, "I thought I heard a noise.

Are you all right?" So he was the first voice of compassion that I desperately needed. I think that's what took me off that driveway. I wanted a human response to a human experience. Doesn't matter that I wasn't hurt. I was still rattled. I was still shaken and I was still processing. You know, what just happened? And so, this dear man and his wife took care of me emotionally. And he said, "Well, you're gonna call your insurance?" And I said, "Yes, that will be my next thing." And I went on my way and I went to my auto body shop.

I told my guy, which I had not needed this service for years and years in other cars. So anyway, here I am giving you details. I wasn't going to supply just because I wanna get onto my content for today. I wanted to tell you, I'm fine. My car is not. And one more thing I'll say is insurance companies do things differently now. And it's sad. I am so thankful I had a human voice, a human connection after that incident with the tree hitting my car because insurance was not the human voice on the other end.

It used to be when you had an accident, you called the claims department. And usually the first thing is, are you all right? Were there passengers? Are you pulled over and are you safe? And then they ask you questions. You have a human voice, not so anymore y'all. I was directed to either an app, a website or an email to file my claim to take my own photographs. So I'm doing the work for them. Take photographs of the damage, send it, and then the adjusters will decide how much money I will get in this claims thing.

And since it was not my fault, it was an act of nature, I have comprehensive coverage. Isn't it sad? My heart goes out to people who worked in claims pre-COVID, COVID changed a lot of the way we do things. And so going forward, an adjuster does not come to your house or to the scene of the accident unless it really requires it. Anyway, the claims people, I think are getting cheated because if I was working at claims, I would think that part of my gifting as being relatable and warm and caring would be called into service when I talk to the victim of an accident.

So these dear people are behind a computer, behind a screen, looking at photos, sending information on a keyboard, and there's no human contact, there's no human voice. Sad, just a little observation. Yeah, Rick, it was a shock. Hello, Andy Joyful. Yeah, it was a shock and I'm recovering, okay. You know, that surge of adrenaline when you first have an event, it leaves your body just, woo, just tired. And that's how I've been afterward. Two things I'd like to read to you, I'm gonna be reading today and I hope that's not a problem 'cause I like to look at the camera and look at you.

Mima is a new discovery of mine. She's called TikTok Mima and she is a grandma and she has wonderful gems of wisdom that she gives us. If she looks right in the camera, she is no nonsense. Pretty cool. And so I was so taken by her last TikTok video that I transcribed at word for word and I'd like to read it to you. I was reading it this morning in preparation for this cadre and I thought, you know what? This is so good from TikTok Mima that I'm going to unwrap it like a box of chocolates. Meaning that I'm going to look at the chocolate, see how pretty it is and then I'm gonna take it out of its wrapper and read it again because it's that rich and that decadent and that lovely and that filled with truth nuggets.

She says, I have 63 years of watching, losing, loving, and surviving. Here's what sticks. Someday you'll be homesick for a version of yourself that you can't go back to. Someday you'll be homesick for a version of yourself that you cannot go back to. Silence? Silence is going to end more of your relationships than fights ever will. Let's unwrap that one. Silence is going to end more of your relationships than fights ever will or ever did. I've lived that. The hardest lesson, you can love someone and still not belong in their life.

Time to lift it out and unwrap it. The hardest lesson, you can love someone and still not belong in their life. Joy, joy isn't loud. Sometimes it's just coffee that's still hot and no one needing you. Joy isn't loud. Sometimes joy is quiet and it's just coffee that's still hot and no one needing you. Wow. All right, Mima. Rick, you've lived that too. Is that the silence part? No. Forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean you let them back in. It means you stop letting them live rent-free in your head.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you let them back in. It means you stop letting them live rent-free in your head. You're going to miss the ordinary days more than you'll miss the big ones. Truth, you're going to miss the ordinary days more than you'll miss the big ones. Those things that you swore you couldn't survive, you did, you did. And that's why you should trust yourself right now. Those things that you swore you couldn't survive, you did, and that's why you should trust yourself right now. One day you wake up and realize you've outgrown the people you used to beg to stay.

Oh, did that one hit me sideways? One day you'll wake up and realize you've outgrown the people you used to beg to stay. People change, circumstances change. Regret will feel heavier than fear, so do the thing. I really adhere to that the older I get. Regret will feel heavier than fear, so do the thing. People will love the idea of you until they meet the boundaries of you. People will love the idea of you until they meet the boundaries of you. Healthy boundaries, we're talking about safety this entire month of September.

And this essay from TikTok Mima speaks to the safety of dwelling in relationship in a sense of us protecting ourselves. Going forward in intentional safety of how we relate and how we respond. Age doesn't harden you, unhealed pain does. What? Age does not harden you. Unhealed pain does. I do believe she's talking here about unhealed emotional pain. And yeah, I've talked to bitter people, bitter people, and they're holding fast to their unhealed pain. I'm not throwing shade on them for that. It just is a fact that unhealed pain can make one bitter, but there's always hope to soften again and to love and accept love.

TikTok Mima doesn't know that she has an assistant. I keep adding to her comments. All right, she also says you will never regret being honest, but you'll often regret staying quiet. I read this to my mom and this was her favorite line. She says, honey, read that one to me again. Read it again. You will never regret being honest, but you'll often regret staying quiet. The most expensive thing you'll ever give away, your time. The most expensive thing that you'll ever give away is your time. The apology you want may never come, but the life you build without it will be enough.

You know, I wish I could tell my younger self that. I wish I knew that a couple decades ago or so. Let me repeat that box of chocolate nugget. The apology you want may never come, but the life you build without it will be enough more than enough because you have perseverance. You have survival skills and you have resilience. Here's the last one. Not everyone will grow with you and that's not a tragedy. It's a proof that you grew. Not everyone will grow with you and that's not a tragedy. It's a proof that you grew.

Thank you, TikTok Mima. I think you're gonna provide more fodder for my cadre's to come, I do believe. This afternoon, coming along today on caregiver Thursday and safety in the cadre sphere for the theme of September, we have Kelsey Schneider. She has some updates for you, some news updates on autism and caring for those on the spectrum. Shannon Paul, Miss Shannon, my favorite beautiful onion, will be giving her comedy and the chaos. Jonathan Park is coming along. He's one of our newer contributors, Carrie will join us.

And Aneela, she gives a cozy bedtime cadre. Sometimes she's got her dog with her, one of her kiddos. She's just so sweet and it's a nice way to have a bookend to your day at the end of it. Aneela this evening on the cadre. I really appreciated the content this morning, including Briana. I think you like to be called Bri, talking about loneliness and oh, that just hit where I needed it to hit. We talked about clarifying the difference between solitude, which we seek, which we crave and loneliness, which doesn't feel so great.

Solitude is something we want and we build into our day for respite, for safety, for peace. Loneliness, not so much. I'll speak from my experience. Loneliness sometimes comes and taps me on the shoulder and says, "You have no spouse. "You have nobody to look at you and say, "Hey, how you doing? "How is your day?" And it's almost like an accusation, like not enoughness. So loneliness doesn't sit well. And so the way Bri sorted this out was, how do we know the difference between seeking love and wanting love and just needing human connection?

How do we know the difference and how do we trust the process? I don't know if you've ever done a team building exercise where you actually physically did a trust fall. I did that once and you literally fall backwards and there are people who have made a net of their hands and they will catch you. But you have to put your arms across your body and fall back. You have to trust that you'll be caught, that they have you, that they'll catch you. Terrific team building exercise. And in Bri's conversation, we talked a little bit about trusting that process.

Do we want to find love again? I do. Do we want to manipulate it and make it happen? I don't. Do we know the difference between isolation and what was my word I used? Refustering solitude. That was the word. The difference between solitude, which we often crave and loneliness, which we often avoid. How do we discern that? And how do we communicate that in a safe way to the people around us? Lots of good questions. That's what I love about cadre is that as the presenter unfolds his or her material, we start speaking to each other in the chat or to the presenter herself.

Rick says, holding, not healing, hardens the heart. Yeah, it does. Holding onto bitterness makes the heart hard. Yeah, look at the proverbs. A kind word is like a bomb, but a bitter spirit dries up the bones. So we've had a box of chocolates. We've had a review of some cadre contributors and a preview of some contributors today. I'm saving poetry soup for next week. I actually had these two essays to read to you today, but I unpacked the chocolates with Mima, TikTok Mima. And I hope you agree with me that it was worthwhile to look at the delicious chocolate and then to take it out of its wrapper and read it again.

It's really cool, I think, to let our psyche absorb truth and sit with it. I'm so glad that you've been with me today. I wish you well. I'm a holder of hope for you. And make sure when you're out to see that you make your way into safe harbor and that you have harbor pilots, friends, boats who will sail alongside you and keep you in the safety of knowing that you're loved, that you're alone, but you don't have to be lonely, that maybe you're surrounded by folks and you feel lonely, you have support here, you have safety, you surely do.

Come back early and often to the cadre. There are so many ways you can experience this community, these lives, or you could do the replay. There is the stream, the conversation thread. There are little places you can go and specifically look at grief, getting sober, what it's like to... My brain's going crazy. What it's like to go through change in a way that keeps you flexible and ready for adventure. There are just so many ways you can experience cadre. And when you put your comments in the thread, we'd love to go in and read those and comment on them.

It's kind of like Facebook for mental health and wellness. Be well, be amazing, and we'll see how we're all doing next week. Take care.