Live w/ Dr.Charryse 🧠 “How To Get Out Of The Cycle When Reflection Becomes Rumination “

Hello there and welcome to an opportunity to exist in the cadiosphere. Yes, my voice sounds funny. C. area blooms that my face reacts to, that my voice reacts to. But don't be concerned. I feel great and I hope you feel as well as possible as you enter. Say good morning, good afternoon, good evening, depending upon when you're listening to this. Hello Joycelyn. Hello, Andrea. Let me know how your week is going. Rate your week one to ten. One meaning it's been a rough week. Ten meaning it's been as well as possible.

Hello lady TB one and then let me know where you are in the world. Hello, Northern Minnesota. I love doing that. I love it, love it, love it. And I think it's so essential to just keeping us connected and reminding you that somewhere around the world someone is hearing the same things as you are, working through some of the same things as you are, and so forth and so on. So I'm curious. Thank you, Margie. Hello, Dayton, Ohio. What's happening that's going well for you? Hello, Statesboro, Georgia.

Let me know something that has happened this week that you are proud of, that you're excited about. I had a really great moment yesterday while I was here supporting another organization. But the most special thing to me that happened is I had some little moments where I could slow down. I love this time of year. Trees are changing colors. Oh my goodness. It's so. It's beautiful. Hello, Speak Wonder from Erie, pa. Hello, Minnesota. Feeling like a two. That's okay. You've also got the rest of the week to support yourself and see where you want to land.

That's the other reason that I love doing the rating is I always want you to consider that where you start is not where you have to finish. And yes. Andrea4172 Learning to find peace with all the calm and chaos. I'm actually doing a restorative session in Charlotte on Sunday. That's called moving from calm to chaos. Way to go, Marchie. Leveling up your steps. Mrchie Eating better, Joycelyn. I hope knee surgery is going well. I love that it's getting stronger with you. Continue to walk with your cane.

That's a tool. Use it as long as you need. All right, let's get into the focus of today. I want to anchor you with this quote. We all carry stories that once kept us safe but may now be keeping us stuck. Healing begins the moment we decide to edit the narrative not abandon the truth. This part of the year. For those of you who are listening to this in the moment, we are often very reflective. Right. We start thinking about, wow, this is what my year has been like. How does my year line up compare to what I thought this year was going to bring?

The other dynamic that can be real for many of us is a little bit of uncertainty around how will the year end and will I take any parts of this year into the next one, especially the ones that we don't want to take. So I want to remind you first that reflection is a powerful process. But you want to be cautious of when your reflection may end up feeling like rumination or you feel like you're getting stuck on a story that creates frustration, disappointment, overwhelm, fear or uncertainty. And when you do that, that neural pathway makes things very difficult.

Speak wonder. Just made a comment about I don't have to know everything. You know. She's talking about it in terms of what she's learning and that fits so well truly into the focus of how to reflect, not ruminate and making sure that you're reframing what you're considering. I want you to think about your year so far. How has this year been compared to what you thought? Let's normalize that a little bit. You came into the year one way. You had some thoughts, some goals, some dreams, some desires compared to where you are now and where you thought you would be.

Is there congruence? Is there incongruence? Has it been better than expected or extremely different? I'll say for myself, this year, I feel like has been a whirlwind. There have been equal moments of really beautiful things happening and equal moments of really hard, difficult, ugly things happening at the same time. And I share that. To also remind you, both can exist. We can look and we can reflect, and there's balance when it comes to our neural pathway. But by looking at both sides and not just viewing one side of the spectrum, especially the side that makes us feel uncomfortable when we spend too much time focusing on where we feel like we're falling short or how difficult things have been that fires off our amygdala.

Love that illuminate has been your word for the year. MRT saying her year is nothing like she thought it would be, but she's blessed to be here. Yeah. There's also moments where things happen in our life that just make us go, you know what? I'm glad I'm still standing. I'm glad I'm still here because you may have been faced with things. So I also want you to consider. Are you sitting more in a place of pain or a place of purpose? That's not a question you need to answer for us, but it's really something I want you to think about when you think about the content of your thoughts lately as you head into this last quarter of the year, are you considering more pain or more purpose?

And yeah, uncomfortable. Painful sometimes. But you can emerge wiser, taking inventory of what you want, what you don't want, what you thought you wanted that you realize you don't, and giving yourself permission to change. Here's what my hope is for you, is that you don't have an emotional carryover unless it's emotions that you are choosing to take with you. All right, I want you to think about it like this. Each month we pack up an emotional suitcase. But sometimes instead of sorting through what we need, we throw everything in.

The frustration, the September disappointment, the summer goals we didn't meet, the relationships that still sting. And then by November, the suitcase gets really heavy. And so that's what I call emotional carryover. It's the residue of unprocessed emotions that travels with us into new seasons. And if we don't unpack it, it will start to define us. So my encouragement to you right here is I want you to consider what's in your emotional suitcase that needs to be unpacked. What is it time to face and to pull out and put away so that it doesn't get become emotional carryover as we start ending this year and move into another one.

Here are three signs that you might be carrying emotional weight into this month. 1. You're easily triggered by small things that remind you of your past situations. And this one is tough, but it's a sign that we're carrying too much SM Zab Z I am so sorry. I'm gonna pause. Thank you for your share. You lost both parents within months of each other. My heart goes out to you, especially from someone that does not have both parents. It is a very disorienting feeling where sometimes you don't feel like you have a home because they were what made home home.

So thank you for that share. I pause. I honor your pain. I see you and we are here to support you as much as we possibly can. So signs you might be carrying emotional weight into November. The first one was you're easily triggered by small things that remind you of past situations. The second one is you keep revisiting old conversations in your head. I'm looking like this Because I know some of you do that. I've done it. We all do it sometimes. And the third one is you feel emotionally full, like there's no room for joy or new goals.

I want to stop here and remind you there is still room for joy. There is still room to experience better. If you want to make a new goal, you can. But guess what? You also don't have to. If you decide. I am tired of making goals. I'm overwhelmed by the goals I've already tried to make and those that I haven't been able to succeed on. It is okay for you to be in this season of the year and not pushing to get to the finish line. Okay? And so when you decide to unpack something or to stop working to be overproductive, it doesn't mean that you don't care.

It means that you're ready to edit. I want to leave you with this out of conversation application. If you want to write this down to reflect on, you can. What's one story from this year that no longer deserves a front row seat in my mind? All right. I want you to identify that story and if you're comfortable, come back next week and bring it with you. Because I'm going to teach you how to take a story that constantly feels present on the front row, the front line of your life, and reframe it. Right.

What story am I holding on to from this year that no longer deserves a front row seat in my mind? If you came on this live today and you were feeling a little heavy, it's okay. This is the perfect place to come when you're not feeling well. Again, thank you for being here. Thank you for taking a moment to share to encourage one another. We never know the moments that we send love, that we send warm thoughts or send virtual hugs or whatever you're sending that's appropriate. Really help transform and give someone just a little boost.

But I also want you to remember that it's important to do that for yourself. I'll leave you with this final thought. The year is not over. Don't allow your fears about the future to overtake your present. Enjoy the moment that you're in and trust that what's next is going to work out. Have a phenomenal rest of the week and I will see you all very soon.