Acceptance vs. Avoidance: What’s the Difference?

Ever find yourself saying, not my problem, or, I'll deal with that later. Let's talk about that. Hi, my name is Rachel Havocost. I'm a writer and mental health advocate. And this month on Cadre, we are talking all about acceptance. I want to talk about the difference between acceptance and avoidance, because those two things are not the same. They can look kind of similar. So avoidance is pretending something doesn't bother you, like, it's not a big deal. I'll deal with that later. Not my problem.

But acceptance is admitting it does and choosing not to run from it. So avoidance will sound like, I'm fine, it's whatever, it doesn't matter. Whereas acceptance will sound like, this hurts. I wish it were different. This is what's true right now. One of them is about numbing, and the other one is about noticing. Can you guess which is which? Very good. Okay. Acceptance takes way more courage, way more vulnerability. Because when you stop avoiding, all the feelings that you've been dodging start to surface.

But that is also when you start to get to live again. So the next time you catch yourself saying, it's fine, not my problem, I'll deal with that later, I want you to pause. I want you to ask yourself, is this actually acceptance, or am I just trying not to feel it? Because acceptance isn't the absence of pain. And I talk about this in another video. It's the presence of honesty. And I know it's not always easy to be honest with ourselves, and I know it's not easy to be honest with others, especially when things hurt.

But the truth is, if we accept and acknowledge when things hurt us, we can actually move through that pain.