Sober Not Somber Hour

Hi everyone. Jen Barla here. Welcome to sober, not somber hour. Um, having some internet connectivity issues today, which is odd because I'm. I'm in my home environment where the WiFi's usually steady. So we'll give this. A try. I'm also here with my dog copper. So if you. Hear him. He always wants attention when I'm on. So, um, yeah, he hopefully will be all good for today. Um, yeah, so welcome in. Um, 12 years of sobriety over here. So, what I'd love to share is number one. Um, one of the social tools I use to stay sober and be happy about it is.

Drinking and a beverages. So. This one is local to Minneapolis, where I'm from, it's called even. And this is the Moji. No. So I'm just gonna pour myself a little bit of that because it is. Sober not somber hour. Um, and we're not gonna take an hour. We're gonna take like, 10 minutes and dive in to a topic. Um, around sobriety and one of the things that came up today as we're approaching the holiday season. On Thanksgiving. Um, was really thinking about all the family dynamics. Dynamics involved with, um, what happens over the holiday season and.

Going into Thanksgiving in a couple weeks. Um, if you are someone who is early in sobriety or sort of. Testing the waters of drinking less. Being around family and in those certain situations, can be very triggering. It can really derail you. And take you off track if you are indeed trying to be sober in these environments. No joke. Oh, my gosh. Everyone get yourself. A four pack of even there's four varieties. Um, the mahi no is fantastic. Um, yeah, so family dynamics, I think. It is worth it. If you are in.

Early sobriety or making these choices. New this holiday season to drink less. Is to understand where you're gonna be the environments you're in and what. Historically has your relationship to alcohol been for yourself, but also in. Your family situation. So I will share, for example, my immediate family. Are non-drinkers so I, uh, I was the one who, you know, would indulge at different. Gatherings and probably have too much to drink. No one knew what to do with. Me usually, um, some people probably covered up for me or we were like, brushed it off.

As oh, that's just the way Jen is. Um, she likes her alcohol, whatever the excuses were among the family. Um, but being in that dynamic, also brought a lot of shame because like, why couldn't I get my act together? Why was I. Always the one that needed to drink more or wanted to drink more. But extended family is a little bit different scenario. Um, at least two uncles. Uncles who are, um, or were. In active addiction and then recovery. One for 20 plus years before he passed. And I saw firsthand.

Um, their behavior at different family functions. So I was thinking about that in terms. Of like, where does the behavior that's accepted or not accepted at social? Functions involving family come from. So it's worth diving into that, especially. If you are getting ready to enter. Um, a Thanksgiving season. Here in the us that, um, lots of times involves a lot of alcohol. And I would just say arming yourself with like the reality of like the stories. Of how alcohol has been present at your gatherings in the past.

And then also, you know, being able to bring in. Something festive and new and fun. In order to kind of keep you on track and that's. That's exactly why I talk about NA beverages so much because. Five six years ago, even pre COVID. They didn't really exist to. The quality and extent that they do today. So 12 years ago, me going into a family gathering. I might have brought free wine F R E free free. Which is I think a really sub. Subpar wine compared to the standards of today, but that's all we had.

So I would bring that to family gatherings. Gatherings and it worked. Now I can bring like drinks, like even. And bring him in shareable and people are like, oh my gosh. This is so good. Like even if they're drinking alcohol, they might switch over. To an NAB. So I it's an absolute must in my toolkit. It might. Be a fit for you to start thinking about. If I go into those gatherings rather than. Receive all the, the pressure. Why aren't you drinking or. Having a water in your glass, you could have something fun and festive.

Making yourself and everyone else around you. Happy. And then it, um, doesn't become a question of belonging or awkwardness. You just. Sort of fit right in, I mean, that's the goal. So cheers to, um, thinking about your family dynamics and how you're gonna. Prepare this holiday. Season to stay on track. Um, available for one-on-one coaching. If that is something you need, I am here for you. My practice is all of the truth. And it's not about moving into a hundred percent sobriety, but it is about.

Really questioning and understanding your relationship with alcohol. So you understand where. Um, that craving or that desire to drink actually comes from. So, uh, NH years to that cheers to even. Um, have an amazing Tuesday and we'll see you next week.