Make Your Dreams Come True!

Good morning, Cadre friends. I hope you guys are doing well. I'm gonna give it a second, see if anybody hops in here and joins me for this Friday tradition of making our dreams come true together. It's such a blast. I'm coming at coming to you from a different perspective today. We're in my clofus peloton treadmill over there, slash shoes, slash desk. It's a whole thing. Fitting as much as I can into a tiny room in my tiny house, but rolling with it. So I'll give it another second before I really start.

Here we go. Hello, junk food junkie. I've been noticing lately that the lives for me when I jump in and get the notification. Chris. Oh, my gosh. Luke. Chris, junk food junkie. All my faves. Okay. I've been noticing that when I hop into a live and I get the notification, I've been missing the first few seconds of somebody talking. So I wanted to wait and let you guys all hop in. So I haven't started yet, but I'm going to now, now that I see that you guys are all on here. So today I'm talking about honesty.

Honesty. And I'm going to just tell you about the few ways that I am utilizing honesty right now in my life and how that helps me make my big dreams come true and maybe how it can help you make your big dreams come true. And I have a couple stories for you, but I want to tell you about, like, the three top ways that I am using honesty and authenticity. But mainly honesty, number one. And I don't know how you guys feel about this, so we're just gonna. We're gonna cut right to the chase. But number one, the first way that I'm using honesty, first of all, before I get in that, why honesty?

You know, I have. I love this saying, this quote that says we're going to end up at the truth anyway, so you might as well start with it. You might as well start with the truth. You're going to end up there anyway. What ends up happening when you don't tell the truth is that you're sitting in liabetes. I heard that on Instagram the other day, and I thought that was so great. You develop liabetes and then you have all of these long term problems, right? So I have just been embracing my full authenticity, my full honesty in all situations, because I've been a chronic people pleaser my whole life, and I'm realizing how important it is to just cut right to the chase.

Maybe I'm hurting some feelings along the way. I don't know. But. But I've realized that the more honest that I'm being with people, the more free I feel. So I just need to say that disclaimer. But these are the top three ways that I'm using honesty right now. Number one, in my dating and friendship life. Number two, to service providers and anyone that I am paying. And number three, I will tell you in a second. All right, so we're gonna break it down. Number one, in my dating friendship life, oh, man.

Any new person that crosses my path, or even somebody who's been in my circle for a long time, you are just gonna get this full, this fully truthful, authentic version of me these days. And I think I went from zero to 60 in my boundary setting. But I have been single for a really long time and I'm just starting to get kind of back into this dating world. And I'm talking to this guy. I'm going to use this as an example. I'm talking to this guy and I straight up told him right from the very beginning, I was like, here's what you're going to get with me.

I'm going to be really honest. If you're saying something annoying like asking me my favorite color or asking me what kind of pizza toppings I like, I'm going to cut right to the chase and tell you that I'm not answering those questions. I am not answering those questions via text message. And I just want to be interviewed by somebody. I think conversations need to happen organically. And we, I've been talking to this guy and I'm so glad he's not on here right now, but it's been about a week, and I have been so brutally honest with this guy.

He called me recently and I said to him, I picked up the phone, which I don't usually do these days because I'm so busy and I just don't want to deal. And I said, I cannot believe you are still talking to me. I can't believe you're coming back for more. And he was like, you know what? Your honesty and your authenticity and, like, the way that you just give it to me straight is really refreshing. And I just haven't had that. And I'm realizing that if I just cut to the chase and tell this guy, like, what's pet peeving me and what's annoying me and what I want out of this relationship or just in getting to know someone, I have nothing to lose.

If I just tell him exactly how it is, and I think it has been incredibly freeing. And then the other way that I'm using it is just in my friendships and with my girlfriends and with people that I'm really close with is just cutting right to the chase and telling them exactly how I feel. I think that while you are in the process of figuring out who should be in your inner circle or just building trust with people or building trust with anybody that is in your life, maybe it's a work relationship or whatever it is, the more honest you can be, you can still be kind.

But I think if you can be forthcoming with the information that you give people and tell them exactly what you need, there's no guessing, there's no gray area. There's no room for assumption. And you're going to save everyone, including yourself, a lot of anxiety and stress trying to figure out what you want and how you want to operate. So I'm really loving this freedom that I'm getting between myself and the people that I'm getting to know or the people that I already know. And maybe things have changed in my life and that person might not know this really honest version of me, but I'm kind of taking myself out of body and just saying, like, you know, hey, this is who I am now.

This is what I expect. This is what I want. If this isn't okay with you, there's the door. But if you're somebody that wants to know the me right now that wants to be fully honest, then great, hang around. Here's what I'm hoping for. Okay, so, number two, to service providers, anyone that I'm paying my hard earned money to, I am not sugar coding things, and I am not just letting people get away unscathed. If you are taking my money, you're going to get the honest truth, all of it. Everything out of my mouth is going to be exactly how I feel about the service that you're providing.

With kindness, always lead with kindness. Lead with gratitude. And there's a way to do it, and there's a way to deliver the information that you want to deliver. But I'm going to use an appointment that I had last night as an example. A girlfriend of mine does business consulting and has a client that needs to perform services for people for free. So she can get a little bit of feedback, and she can get maybe a shout out on Instagram. She's looking to build an ambassador program. And my friend said to me, would you.

Would you want to get your lashes done by this girl? She needs models and people that can give her feedback and promote her on Instagram. And I was like, you know what? I used to get lash extensions for years. I could probably jump back on that bandwagon. And as you can see, I am wearing them now. They're a little crazy. I went through the experience last night with her, and it was not the greatest experience for me. And I can say that here. You guys don't know her, whatever it is. I'm just being really honest and I'm telling you this story because I think it's really important to the message here.

First of all, she was late to the appointment, and it was going to be a three hour appointment where I was laying down and could not open my eyes. So that's already, like, for me, anxiety ridden, right? Like, I could be doing so many other things in the. So many other things in this 3 hours. But of course I wanted to help this girl out. I know what it's like to be starting a business, and I know what it's like to want that feedback and that customer experience report. So I get there. She's late.

Number two, it's freezing cold, and I'm somebody who runs really cold all the time. I know we're in Arizona out here and it's a million degrees, but inside where people crank the air conditioning and they're going to be laying down for multiple hours, you want to accommodate them. So I could tell. She could tell that I was uncomfortable and I wasn't going to say anything. And I was moving around a little bit and she was like, are you okay? And I finally said, you know what? I'm freezing. I just have to be honest with you.

I don't think I could make it through this whole appointment without like, a blanket or something. I'm so cold. I was literally shivering. I felt like my limbs were going numb. And luckily, I mean, I said something in the first ten minutes, but can you imagine if I didn't say anything for that entire time and I'm laying there for 3 hours, how miserable would that experience be? And then she could pick up on my energy and it would just be bad for everyone all around. So just speaking my truth in that moment.

Now, I know I'm doing this for trade, but I was thinking about it from the perspective of if I was going to an appointment, a hair appointment, a nail appointment, like anything that has to do with enhancing my personal appearance or experience or something that makes me happy. Maybe it's I'm getting my hair colored or something and I'm trying something new when you are paying money out to somebody, making sure that you ask for what you need and that service provider needs to provide a full consultation as well.

But the experience goes both ways. And the reason that I think this is so crucial and important and why you need to speak your truth here is like, it's the help me help you situation. Like, I have an honesty policy with my clients. As a personal stylist, if you aren't being honest with me, I can't help you. I can't do my job. I can't make you happy. Therefore, you won't refer me to other people, and everyone's in trouble. Nobody wins in this case. So speaking your truth to somebody who's providing a service or doing something that's supposed to make you look and feel beautiful or whatever it is, maybe it's an interior designer for your home, and you're spending all of your hard earned money on this one $5,000 couch or whatever it is, who knows?

You need to be able to be honest with that person, because in the long run, if you're not speaking your truth just to be polite and maybe make the other person feel good in that moment, it's that. It's that short term game for a long term loss, as far as I'm concerned, and nobody wins. So speak your truth to that person. Okay. So, anyway, the bottom line was that I woke up, or I got up from the lash appointment really fast. I'll finish this. And I wasn't happy with them. They really looked dark and bold.

And we had a long conversation afterward about how I might suggest that, you know, we go in a different direction for the next appointment, and I'm gonna give her an opportunity to make it right and adjust to what my needs are. But there was no consultation in the beginning and no communication. And I got up from the bed and looked at myself and was like, I'm a little shocked. So, needless to say, clear communication and honesty and having those conversations can save people a lot of time, energy, effort, headaches, money, all of the things in the long term.

So speak your truth there. Okay. And the last place that I'm being really honest in my life, can anyone guess who and what and where and how I'm being honest in my life? If anyone could drop it in the chat right now. So I've said in my dating and friendship life to service providers and anyone that I'm paying my hard earned money to. I don't know if anyone's still on here. Hey, Marissa, where is the last place that I'm being really honest. Okay, I'm gonna just tell you with myself. I'm being honest with myself.

Right. When we lie to ourselves, we create a detrimental pattern. Right? We fall into people pleasing, we create long term problems. If you aren't honest with yourself, you're just creating this, like, ripple effect of lies and inauthenticity around you. And if you aren't able to speak your truth, your communication with somebody will never be clear. People won't really, truly get to know the real you and understand who you are and what you need to your core, what kind of person you are, what you want from them.

People can't read your mind, but if you're not being honest with yourself, you're not going to have honesty anywhere in your life, and you're going to be living sort of in this shadow of yourself. And I'm really trying to practice. Yes. The first and most important person we need to be honest with is person staring back at us in the mirror. It's so true. So the order in which I presented who I'm being honest with today really is backwards. First and foremost, I'm being honest with myself. I had to ask myself questions like, do I even want lashes on my face right now, or do I like my natural beauty as it is?

And that's a conversation I really had to think about. Like, I might go to this girl and say, you know what? Like, I would be happy to help you in your business and consult and give you some customer feedback, but maybe I'm not a lash girly right now. And that's okay. I did it for years, and then I took them off because I felt like I didn't look like myself? Authenticity. Right? And I'm just using that as an example. But are we. Are we being really honest with ourself? Do I let the hairdresser just do whatever she wants because that's convenient for her?

Do I really speak my truth about what I want? And the same goes for anything across the board. Now, I'm not talking about these, like, superfluous, like, services, but what I'm. But what I really mean is, is bigger than that, right? If you're working toward making your big dreams come true, you really need to start with how honest you are with yourself. Is this something I really want to be doing? Do I actually want to be quitting this job and starting my own business? Do I actually want to quit my business and go back to work for somebody else?

Because I don't want to do the grind anymore. Whatever it is, speak your truth to yourself and start there and the rest will be a lot easier. Because if you're honest with yourself, it's going to be a breeze being honest with everybody else. So I just wanted to share that message with you today because after I had that appointment last night, I was just like, I got all this anxiety around, do I even really want to be doing this? Or did I just say yes to help other people? And is it serving me? Right?

Is it serving me? So, it was a good reminder that if we aren't clear and honest with ourselves, first and foremost, there's no way we're going to be able to be that way out in the real world. Therefore, our dreams are going to be put on pause. So I love you guys. I hope this message resonated today, and I hope that it encourages you to be honest with yourself about the situation that you're in. Whether that's work, life, relationship, who knows? Should I get another puppy? Just be honest with yourself.

The answer is yes. There. But, you know, I hope it encourages you to take a good, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, where are the areas of my life that I'm not being fully truthful? And how can I fix that? To live a more authentic life and be set free. So I love you guys. Thanks, Luke. Thank you. Great message on honesty. Thanks, you guys. You know, it's amazing what one lash appointment can do for messaging, but I think it is important. So I hope that you take it with you through the weekend and into the rest of your life.

And I love you guys. Thank you so much for being here. As always. It means so, so much to me. And if there's anything that you want to hear me talk about in terms of making your big dreams come true, please tell me, drop it in the comments after this live or drop it in the community feed or send me a message. I would be so happy to hear from you. If there's something that you want me to talk about or address or do a little Q and A, love you guys. Have a great weekend.