LIVE w/ Dr.Charrryse

Hello. I'm so glad that you're here. Welcome, or welcome back. I'm Doctor Charryse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner, and author who is passionate about helping you understand your innate ability to operate in peace and in harmony in every area of your life if you do the work. Because that's the bottom line, is we have to understand who we are, understand the magnitude of our power of choice, and from that point, it allows us to look at our life and really decide what do we want, what's standing in the way, where do we feel stuck?

And I want better for you, and I hope that you want better for yourself. Now, let's take about a minute and allow everyone to come in, perhaps greet someone that you see here on the live. Or if you're listening on replay, you can still say hello because we're family and we check back in. It's good to see some morning faces. m. Where I am right now, but thankfully I'm an early bird. And let's praise God for coffee, which I am going to take a sip of right now. Mmm. So, God, it's really strong, but it's really great.

So on Monday, if you listen to Monday motivation, I talked about meaning and purpose, and I want to take a quick moment and refer back to that so that I'm constantly helping you understand. How do you connect the pieces? So when I speak into your life and say, you have meaning and purpose, yes, I want you to know that's true. But the other, you know, part of that, especially if we're talking about mental fitness, which is our current focus, and then meaning and purpose, our mental perspective, is going to have a lot to do with what we ascribe meaning to.

And sometimes we don't realize that we're giving things meaning in our life that have more power than we like to admit, or we need to renegotiate how much power that we're giving to the things in our life. And sometimes there are big things that we recognize, like, oh, this person means too much in my life, this job means too much in my life. But there are other times where the meaning that you're ascribing to things can be very, very subtle and very tricky. So those are the things that I also want you to continue to think about as you go throughout the week, is, I have meaning, I have purpose.

Do my choices line up with what I say I believe about myself, or am I just talking a good game? But my actions are really tight telling on me. So those of you who are familiar with me know that I love word etymology. So let's bring a little bit of that in today. Meaning the word meaning two definitions I want to give you. The first one is the definition of meaning as a noun. It means an implied or an explicit significance. So the reflection question off of that is, where am I giving something more significant than it should have in my life?

Where am I giving something more significance than it should have in my life? The second meaning of meaning that I want to give you, or second definition of meaning that I want to give you is an adjective. So it's a description word. It means the intended to communicate something that's not directly expressed. I want to take a sip before I get into that one. That's the piece that I really want you to kind of let that sink in. Intended to communicate something that is not directly expressed. One of the largest hidden barriers to strong mental capacity is.

Is what you're not saying is things that you are giving meaning to, whether that's an experience, a relationship, an action, what you look like, your weight, your body image, your food choices, and you're not truly communicating to yourself or to accountability or to someone in your life that supports you, that this has specific meaning. Think about it this way. How many times have you been in situations where you were in an interaction with someone and you had some words and that person said something that may have really hurt you or crushed you or shocked you, and you didn't say anything, so they didn't have any clue at the moment because it comes up later that you had given that moment so much meaning.

Now the hope is that eventually you get to the point where you're able to communicate that. And then perhaps they say something like, oh, my goodness, if I would have known you felt that way or you thought that, then I would have let you know. XYZ. So this is often overlooked. Assumptions can destroy your level of mental fitness. Reflection question, where am I making assumptions instead of checking the facts? And checking the facts isn't just a fun, little saucy word that I'm giving, it's an actual skill to be able to say that when I am upset about something, when I'm struggling with something in my life, is it based on the assumptions from my lens of experiences, of emotions, of thoughts?

Or can I prove that what I believe is true based on the evidence? In a modality of therapy, we call DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy, we call it discovering the evidence. And here's the place where I want to bring it home and even make it personal to you. Where are you making assumptions about yourself? And as a result of the assumptions that you are making about yourself, it gets in the way where you're assuming, I don't know if I can do this. What if it doesn't work out? What if I'm not strong enough?

What if I'm not good enough? Do I really deserve this? And the answer is, yes, you deserve it. Yes, you are good enough. Yes, you have the ability and the capacity to do anything that you set your mind to if you do the work. But I really want you to dig into where are you making assumptions? Because sometimes you'll often find that those assumptions are patterns in your life that continue to show up. And over time, incorrect assumptions can destroy our mental strength because they take little tiny bites out of your confidence, out of your countenance, out of your joy, out of your willingness to try again.

So instead of saying, what if I can't, if that's you today, I want you to say, but what if? And notice I didn't say, what if I can, because if you're saying can't, then can will terrify you right now. We'll get there. But if you've been saying to yourself and making assumptions around any area of your life and going, what if I can't? A tangible tool of reframe is just being able to say to yourself, but what if? And the moment that you say, but what if? There's going to be this feeling, this sensation that comes and makes you go, hmm, what if?

Whatever you're working on in your life, and to some degree we should all be working. I don't say should often, but if we're not working or moving, it doesn't mean that we're necessarily aspiring on a goal. We could be working to maintain a goal that we've already succeeded, but there's always a level of work, of showing up in our lives. So in whatever area that is for you, where are you making assumptions and where is it time for you to tell yourself in a mentally strong and sound way, but what if?

And yes, I'm going to take a sip. So I want to give you today seven, at seven, seven barriers to your mental strength. Now, I don't think anything on this list is going to be surprising to you, but the goal is for you to always look through these and use them as an assessment tool. Where do you see yourself kind of doing well in this area? And where are the areas that need repair? Number one, inconsistent sleep patterns. I'm going to say it again for the people in the back, inconsistent sleep patterns.

If your mind just went to, oh, but I've always been that way. That doesn't mean that it's right, it doesn't mean that it's good. Your sleep patterns are crucial to your homostasis, which is your body's balance. It is crucial to your hormones, which is going to impact every area of your life, including your appetite and your brain health. It is crucial to your emotions, it is crucial to your physical strength, it's crucial to your interpersonal skills and your intrapersonal skills. Inner personal means, you and I, intra meaning the way that I am managing myself.

So if you're not consistently working on your sleep and getting adequate sleep, it will derail you because then your fatigue will cause you to give meaning to things that aren't true because you're exhausted. And when you're exhausted, everything feels like a threat. Work on your sleep. Number two, persistent weight and appetite changes. Now, the body can change four to six pounds a day, believe it or not, depending upon your level of digestion, what you've eaten, the carb content of what you've eaten.

So I'm not just talking about the small changes and daily weighing is not recommended anyway. But if you're noticing fairly significant changes that are persistent in your weight and appetite, there's a mental capacity attached to that. Because somewhere along the way you are making consistent choices that go against what you know your body needs. Where are you making choices that you know? This is not what my body needs. My body doesn't do well with this particular food or pattern of eating, but I'm doing it anyway.

Let me take a quick moment and tag in how one and two work together. Some of you have heard me walk through this before. When your patterns of sleep are inconsistent, it increases your ghrelin. Your ghrelin is your hunger hormone because your body, when you're tired, cues the brain to give you fuel. So when the brain is cued to give you fuel, ghrelin is increased. Leptin, which is your satiety hormone, is decreased because your hormones are out of whack because of the sleep. So the sleep throws off your hormone, so you're not going to feel satisfied, truly physically in nourishment and your appetite will be higher.

All foundationally set on sleep because your sleep metabolism and your eating metabolism always work hand in hand. Number three, seven at seven seven. Barriers to your mental strength. Difficulty following through on goals. If you are setting goals or you're in the process of working on goals or boundaries or any small shifts in your life, small or large, and you're having a difficult time, then that lets us know you've got some mental fitness to do, you have some work to do, and you want at work to identify where are you not strong enough to follow through on what you say is important.

So ask yourself the question, where am I moving towards or away from my goals? Number four, mood swings. We can connect that back to one and two, because inconsistent sleep patterns are going to create persistent weight and appetite changes. And then heaven forbid, you are also in any stage of life that also naturally includes mood shifts like perimenopause or menopause. There's not a technical name for it for men, but men also experience mood shifts as they age. So men, you are not off the hook.

You have the same thing. They're just not talked about as well. So mood swings, such as anxious, depressed, defensive, I'm gonna sip, or fragile. Number five, low internal self esteem, which means that you were walking around and acting like you are happy, as can be, and you are confident, but what you're saying to yourself is telling a different story. Low internal self esteem, which often equates to self doubt. Six, a high need for external validation. When you have a low internal self esteem, you will have a high need for external validation.

Because essentially what you're saying is, I need someone else to do for me what I am unwilling or unable to do for myself. And then you're disappointed because the world is not filling your cup, because you should be filling your own external validation. I could do a whole session on that. It's costly. And number seven, maintaining unhealthy relationships is a key factor in poor mental strength. And as you consider, what are the unhealthy relationships in my life? That's another piece that I want you to be writing about, to be talking about, to be journaling about.

Consider relationships with food, relationships with finances, relationships with people, and relationships with social media. Depending upon the phone that you have, I want you to look at the amount of time that you're spending engaged in technology, in pickups, in scrolling through, looking for the things that you're not finding here, and asking yourself, what else could I be doing with that time? And is the time that I'm spending the amount of time that I'm spending truly moving me towards my goals in the way that I think?

Or does it also become a barrier to my mental strength? Because I'm looking at images and I'm looking at people and I'm looking at experiences that add to my assumptions. Oh, well, this person's post got 100 likes and mine only got 50. So now you're sitting in this assumption around your worth and your value, because you're not the newest, flashiest thing anymore. And so you up the ante and you push to go. I want to be seen. We all do. It's a very natural and human need that we have. But I'll end with this.

The most important place for you to be seen is, one, by yourself, to see yourself fully and truly, and two, to be seen in person or in small group with people that love you and that are meaningful to your life. As always, eat the meat, leave the bones, take the pieces of today that matter to you, that are important to you, and utilize them. One of the most efficient ways to use this information is to go through, answer the reflection questions that have been given, look at this list of seven at seven and really identify, where am I doing well?

Where do I need to continue to work? And then make a plan. Take one of the seven at sevens and turn it into a smart goal. Those of you that are using, for example, the new mindset matters journal that might be part of what you do for one week. You don't have to have the mindset matters journal to do that, but that piece is in there because I constantly want to push you to go. I don't want you to just hear this information. The things that I share with you, I want them to take you all the way through the following week.

So what does that mean? That means that for the rest of this week, your work, if you choose to accept it, is to wake up every day and know that you matter and you have meaning just by the fact of being human and being you and standing in your greatness. That's foundational. It's two to then look in your behaviors and your thoughts and your experiences and ask yourself, where am I giving meaning to something that is holding too much power in my life? A person, a place, a thing, an experience, a look, an image, an achievement.

And then three, looking through this list of seven and seven and choosing where do I need to start my work? Where do I need to pick back up my work? Because maybe I worked here before and I was successful, and then it didn't work out. Well, that's how you put this together and you work on it every day. Because what we want to create, fitness and strength, whether that's neurobiologically or physically, emotionally, is built on repetition. It's built on reps, on doing it on repeat, so that when the moment of crisis comes, you are ready.

Ready. I did it. I said I was going to do 15 to 20 minutes. I did 19. I'm so glad that you chose to come today. It's always a joy to see you and to spend time with you. Feel free to come back all throughout your week as a check in. Right in the chat, I'm constantly looking. Let me know where you're working, what's going well, what are you noticing? And then I will see you next week. Have a great day.