Aloud: Normalizing Taboo Topics 

Hi, everybody. It is Shannon from aloud. It is a Friday in beautiful St. Paul, Minnesota. Welcome. I'm still outside. I'm still going for it. All right. You can see giving you the update here. I mean, there's no leaves left, so we're definitely coming into fall here in Minnesota, but it's gorgeous today, so happy Friday. So, I'm Shannon. I'm the founder of allowed, and we exist to be a saint. Safe space to talk about taboo topics. What that really means is there's a lot of things as humans that aren't really, you know, socially normal to talk about out loud.

And so we want to be a place for you to find others like you and hear voices of people saying things that you might feel, too. Okay, so I prepped today's topic as being about how walking your dog can help you figure out how to take care of yourself. So I take care of a lot of people, just like many of you do, I'm sure. I know I've talked about having a son with special needs, but I have two boys. I have a house. I have a career. I have a dog. I have all the things. And so, like many of you, there are times when taking care of others can be really overwhelming, physically and emotionally and mentally and in all the ways.

And so sometimes when I need a break from that, from thinking about other people, I think, well, I'm gonna take my dog for a walk. So, my dog is Gilbert. He's a 60 pound rescue lab. He's black. He's nine years old. He's a little passive aggressive, and that's fine. That's just his personality. So Gilbert needs walks every day, right? So sometimes when I'm overwhelmed and I think I'll take a walk, I also think, okay, honestly, there's this, like, secret, you know, type a side of me that says, cool.

I'm also gonna check off that box of taking Gilbert for a walk. And so it's really kind of like, yeah, it's a respite for me, but also, I'm gonna do this thing, this other thing that I have to do. So one of the things about Gilbert is that he's a dog who likes squirrels, because sometimes dogs like squirrels. And so, you know, he'll see a squirrel, and I have this leash that wraps around my waist. It's a runner's leash. And so what it means is, I'm hands free. So if I'm walking Gilbert and he sees a squirrel, he at times will chase that squirrel.

And again, he's 60 pounds, and he's big. And so when he sees it, he gets excited, and he pulls. And what that means is my body pulls too. So it's not always a harsh pull, but sometimes it is, and sometimes it hurts my back. Sometimes it will cause me to stumble. Sometimes it surprises me. And when he does it, even a couple of times, I've, like, teared up in a moment, right? So I've taken this respite walk, and my dog pulls me, and I kind of tear up. I'm just kind of like, oh, God, nothing. Why? Why is this so hard?

When I have that feeling, I think. When I have that feeling, I think, why is this making me so emotional? Why am I having this response? And so I thought about it, and so when I framed up what the walk is for in my head, I framed it up as a respite. I framed it up as that moment that's for me, where I'm gonna get nature and all the things, and I'm sorry, you guys. I forgot to silence my phone. And so now I'm getting all these notifications, and it's stressing me out right now, but I'm gonna ignore them.

Okay. So I have this walk in my head as a respite for myself, and I framed it up for that expectation and partway through. When you get yanked and pulled and your body gets pulled around and you stumble, it feels super frustrating, and it feels like more of the same, and it feels like, God, I'm only here for this person, this dog's need, right? Like I'm a conduit to everyone else feeling better. And so what I learned was that when I need that break, that I need to make it all about me, because Gilbert's a dog, and dogs like squirrels.

So if I am making it about two things, if I'm making that break about me and about my dog and he pulls me and I get mad at him, that's not fair to him, and that's not fair to me. Neither one of us are really getting what we need. We're getting this halfway experience that's not awesome for anyone and ends with a lot of emotion and upsetness on probably both sides. So what I've learned is that I deserve that moment. I deserve that respite. I deserve that walk to be all about me. So I've stopped trying to do two things at once.

I've stopped trying to be efficient in my self care. I've stopped trying to say, yeah, but I can just save 20 minutes here, because at the end of the day, if I'm not okay. No one else is okay. No one else is okay. And I'm the only one that can control me taking care of myself. So that's it. That's what I wanted to say to you today. I wanted to say to you that, you know, if you feel like you're being pulled and pushed and you're trying to find that self care, think about if you're really devoting it to yourself.

Think about if you're honoring yourself with that same amount of tenacity that you're honoring all the other people and all the other things in your life because you need it, you deserve it. And it will make everybody better. Thank you, Cadre, for being kind. Thank you. Mo Myers. I'm glad you needed to hear this. I need to hear it, too. I suck at it. I'm not always good at it, but I will in full authenticity. Cadre friends, today I was supposed to have. I was supposed to go to the gym at 10:00 and I didn't.

And what I did instead was I shut my windows, I closed my blinds in my room, and I turned on the office for 30 minutes, and I fell asleep. That's not the most efficient way to spend prime time working hours. It's just not. And it also is what I needed today. So I'm glad you guys are here. Thank you for letting me do this with you. Thank you for being a space for me to also remind myself. So I'm just so grateful for all of you. So I hope you have a beautiful Friday, and I can't wait to see you on Monday.

And please, please, please take care of yourselves. And also, please know you are amazing just as you are. Mel Meyers, you are fantastic. You're doing a beautiful, beautiful job. So thanks, everybody. We'll talk to you soon. Have a great weekend, and we'll see you next time here on Cadre and aloud. Bye, everybody. Take care of yourself.