The Art Of communication

Hello, everyone. Danielle Jokonen here, tuning in again about looking at where we're stuck. What in your life is happening? We can look at what's well, but also looking at where something in our life that we want to have happening is not happening. And that's where we call it stuck. I'm moving us through the circle to really get to the root cause. And today we're talking about communication. There is an art to communicate, and it can be a source of resolve in our life or a source of continued destruction in any area with ourself, someone else, a situation.

So, going back to the previous days, we first looked at being in the here and now, like, what is happening now and getting to what we're feeling. What are we feeling versus projecting out there or blaming the situation or the person or what they're doing versus what is going on with you, what's going on with me? And then listening to what you say about yourself, like, about the situation. What are you making it mean about yourself as well? And then we're looking at, are you disconnecting or connecting to yourself or the person?

Like, my stuckness is saying, I want to write a book, okay? I'm not happening. I feel stuck, and I just feel like I don't know how. Or I feel scared. Like, I'm scared. What do I say about myself is, I'll do it later. I don't know how. I don't have time. And then I'm either connecting or disconnecting. Like, okay, I could have all these things happening. I might not know how. I might not have time, and what am I doing? I'm continuing to disconnect of just avoiding, not looking at it, not doing it.

So, yes, I'm disconnecting. And then it looks like, what? Am I communicating to somebody or something, right? Really with myself, or am I saying this out loud? I'm not communicating, right? I'm running away. Or I blame other people. Like, I don't have time because of x, y, or z, or if I knew how I would do it, but I don't know how, so I'm not gonna do it. And the art of communication is speaking to what I want to have happen, speaking it out there, okay? I want to write a book, and I know how I'm gonna figure it out.

I'm gonna connect with the right people. I'm gonna block a time spot on my weekly calendar to make it happen. And the art of communication through a lot of it. And then there's just my example right through here, through this is not wanting to communicate in general, just with myself, like being my own cheerleader. You can do this. So that's my avenue. But a lot of times, the communication, it can be with a person like somebody else. And the three tools for art of communication is taking ownership for yourself.

Like, okay, I feel stuck. I feel scared in this situation. And when I want to write a book and I'm not doing it, my request is for me to have a non negotiable move calendar weekly, check in with myself, try to do it an hour a week. Right. Start small. Right. So that's communicating with myself. You are worthy. You can do this. Right. And think about having this communication with somebody else. This is where skill and art come in with the communication is taking ownership for yourself. Say you had an argument with somebody, and the first thing is taking first ownership.

Okay, this is my experience. This is how this experience occurred to me. And then this is how it occurred, and then how you felt about it. This is how I feel. And then you make a request, like, my request is blank. It could be simple, like, oh, when you left, you made lemon water this morning and you left a mess out on the counter. Lemon juice everywhere, seeds everywhere, your cup. And that occurred to me, like, you don't care. Or I feel like I'm not important, or I feel sad. And my request for you is to clean up the counter before you go to work.

X, y or z. And so it's taking ownership, explaining the. The situation, how it occurred to you, how it made you feel, and then making a request. Right. My projection there was, oh, you don't care. Like, that's how I felt. That's how I feel. But not putting it on, like, saying that this is how you feel. It's more so owning it. This is how I feel. I feel sad. I feel. To me, it feels like you don't care. But again, that's me. And maybe we sometimes don't even have to say what we think they feel. Cause that can also cause more friction.

So just owning simple thing. When you left everything out on the counter before going to work, it made me feel frustrated and sad. Cause then I have to, you know, clean it up. And I'm late for my day. And it just doesn't make me feel like I have a good start to my day. So my request is for you to clean up the counter. And if you're running late or you can't do it, just let me know. I get it. So the art of communication. What are you saying? Or, you know, saying too much can also be more stress or not saying anything can also be like a way to cause more stress as well.

Not saying nothing. So it takes something to get in the art of communication. First acknowledging the experience. What happened to you? Like how did it occur to you? Owning your feelings about it and then making a request. So hope you having a good day. Questions? Let me know. My name is Danielle. Have a great night.