Live w/ Dr.Charryse 🧠

Hello and welcome back. Give everyone a moment to enter the space. Getting comfy? I was determined I was not showing up today without my coffee. It's always that first step. It just says, hello and how are you? I hope you've had a good week. My week has been super busy, but also, I wouldn't have it any other way. Good morning, Audrey. I am tired, but it's a good tired. It's like the tired after you do really amazing and great things, and then you're. You just feel it. But I'm glad that you're here if this is your first time here.

I'm Doctor Charryse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner, and author. And we enter this space to really consider how do we cultivate and maintain a level of peace and harmony in our lives. Hello, Stephanie. Hello. Beth Schofield. Good morning, Ken. Hello, Rachel. As always, as you enter this space, we have kind of a question of the day just to anchor you. And the question I want to start with today, what do you need that you're able to provide for yourself?

Because oftentimes we consider our needs and we think about what we need. Hello, Tarina. When it's dependent upon other people and other dynamics. So let us know where you're from, because you might find a friend and consider, what do you need? Good morning, Sharindria. That you can provide yourself. And while you answer that question and pop it in the chat, whether you're listening live or in replay, then I'm going to take a moment and get us prepped for a little morning mindfulness or daytime mindfulness, depending upon when you're listening to this.

Got some of my northeast peeps here. South Carolina. Minnesota. What's up, Minnesota? And it's so early there. I need to switch the time. I'm gonna switch the time at the beginning of the month because we're having more people from the west coast want to listen live. Mmm. Better rest. That's good. If you are working on what you need and deciding whether or not you want to share, continue to place it in the chat. And let's take a moment and move into just a little bit of stillness. You can decide what that looks like for you.

I'm sitting with something that supports my back. I'm a high proponent of doing whatever you need for your body. Sometimes we believe that that meditation, mindfulness, and stillness has to look a certain way, and it doesn't. If you're comfortable, place one hand on your heart and your other hand can either be down to ground up if you feel like you need to receive from this moment or on your belly. I enjoy placing mine on my belly because it's a reminder to diaphragmatically breathe. So that's in through your nose and your belly contracts and out through your mouth and your navel.

Na full comes towards your spine. So take a moment if you're comfortable and close your eyes or find a soft place to stare. We'll only be here for about 60 to 90 seconds. This is a powerful opportunity for you to anchor into the moment, to begin to scan your body, to scanned your mind, and to notice what's your internal weather today we often present to the world in one particular way, but it's in those moments of stillness that we recognize there may be a different story inside. What's your internal weather?

Your internal story. And let's take four breaths at your pace. In through your nose and out through your mouth. In through nose and out through your mouth. In through your nose. Don't be stubborn. Out through your mouth one more time. In through the nose and out through the mouth. If your eyes are closed, slowly open them. Reorient yourself back to the room and the space your eyes are open. Bring them back to the screen. What did you notice during that moment of stillness? Mental well being is a connected aspect in our life.

We can cognitively focus on a number of things, but we also want to always be inviting in the body. When we invite in the body, it is an opportunity for you to begin to ask yourself, how is what you're fighting? How is what you're enjoying? How is the way that you're nourishing yourself, your choices around food and movement and all of those aspects coming together and impacting your definition of well, because what well looks like for you is going to be very different. And the concept of internal weather, for those of you that are familiar with me, is an actual skill.

It's a self regulation skill that I want to see you or encourage you to do multiple times because we can look bright and sunny, but our internal weather might be a different story. I will use myself as an example. My outward weather probably looks sunny. My internal weather would probably be cloudy. Just because I know that there's that tired and that fatigue there, which leads us to our core. Simple focus for today is managing your expectations based on your internal weather. And sometimes I'll interchange that word for your internal story.

Let me say, if you don't remember anything that I say today, I want to give you bold permission to not expect yourself to be perfect. And to operate on level ten out of ten every day, and to be able to operate on a different level of expectations without viewing that as failure, without viewing that as letting other people down. Some of you are in situations and dynamics where people expect you to be sunny all the time. You have also allowed them to place those expectations on you. Let's sip to that.

But when you are trying to operate at an unrealistic level of expectations for yourself, dismissing and minimizing what your internal weather is, that incongruence is what creates storms in our mental life and in our physical life, because then we stop listening to that internal narrative. So again, I want to reiterate that point. You have permission not to operate at a level of ten out of ten when it comes to the expectations that you're placing on yourself. But that starts with you giving yourself permission to do so.

Before I talk about, well, how can you adjust that mentality? If that's what you're comfortable with, if that's what you've been taught, if that's what people expect out of you, let's talk about the consequence of ignoring our internal weather and always expecting yourself to operate at a really high level. Life is not static. Life is not linear. It is always going to be an up and down hill, an ebb and a flow of the different situations that are happening in your life. There are going to be moments where physically, financially or socially, you're in seasons or emotionally that you won't be able to maintain the same expectations of yourself.

Because if you did, in many ways that would be like oppressing yourself. It is harmful. Now you may ask, well, what's the balance of knowing that you have a lot going on and still working to try to show up? The balance is you show up. But also consider, how can I show up in a way that is a level of consistency. But the demand that I'm placing on myself isn't so high that it feels harmful, that it feels impossible. And that negative self talk, that negative inner voice starts to arise. It's learning, what does it mean to still compass passionately, go through your day and ways that you can navigate where you are and how to manage your expectations might look like, here's the context of your life.

You know that something in your life in this moment may be heavy or challenging or outside of your control. And as a result of that, you're going to slow down at the pace in which you make decisions. You're going to reschedule and navigate the way that you are socially engaging with other people, because you're also very aware of the people in your life, that as much as you may care for them, that they take a lot out of you, even in the workplace, still giving yourself the permission and the boundaries in those areas of your life as well.

To say, I need to gauge how much connection and involvement I have in these spaces and give myself permission to do that. Because if not, it's going to be really difficult. And it's also important to do this. You're right ahead of me, Audrey. I love it with your physical activity. Knowing that certain states, certain mind states, certain physical states will dictate how our body approaches movement. So instead of fully abandoning movement, managing your expectations of self, and not expecting too much out of yourself to the point where it's harmful also means what can my body invite in at this moment, and how can I allow that to be enough?

And reminding yourself that you won't stay in the state that you're in forever. It's almost like giving yourself the space for the storm to pass. I remember my son and I were traveling to one of his basketball games, and it was pouring. I mean, that point where you were on the line between it's raining so hard, should I stop and pull over? But also, I kind of want to get there. So should I just slow down, look in front of me, and focus on where I'm going, but keep moving forward? That's what it looks like when you're in seasons where you're adjusting your expectations and not expecting yourself to operate at the same speed.

When the weather has changed, when we drive, whether we're driving physically a vehicle, or when we're the driver in our life, it's always important for us to consider what's a safe speed based on the weather. And that's a powerful way for you to connect both and really consider that whatever you have to give today, I want to remind you it's enough. Even if you feel like you're not able to give what you always have, even if you feel like other people have expectations of you and you inwardly know, I can't live up to that.

At this moment, you're giving enough outside application that I would encourage you to practice. Because peace and harmony and cultivating that in your life is a practice is each morning. This can be pure reflection, or you can write it down if you want to. I want you to practice internal weather. Stopping, taking a moment. What's the difference between what I'm showing the world and what I'm feeling inside my internal weather? Second part would be, what's my internal story? Because the weather that we are experiencing will always connect to our story, to what we're saying to ourselves.

Really noticing those quiet, subtle thoughts that you have towards yourself and other people and what they think about you. Because we can sometimes project as well when we're in situations that we don't feel good. We also think that other people feel the same way about us as we feel about ourselves. And often other people are focused on themselves and not you near as much as you think. And then three. Asking yourself, what pace is reasonable today with the information that you just took in? Based on my internal weather, my internal thoughts, my internal story, what's reasonable today?

What is enough today? And look at your schedule and look at what you have planned and notice. Is this too much? Sounds very simple. But giving yourself permission to alter aspects of your day to be in alignment with your internal narrative and your internal weather is one of the most bold and powerful acts of well being that you can ever practice. And what you will often find is it's really easy to do in some areas. You may do it well with your workouts. Can you do it well with work? You may do it well with work, but not do it well with what you eat.

So also, looking at the various areas of your life where you are more likely to give yourself permission to adjust your expectations. And the other areas of your life where you place an unrealistic and oppressive demand on yourself and to the point that it has mildly become harmful. In this season and the context of your life. Eat the meat, leave the bones. That means take what you've heard from today and grab ahold of the pieces and the aspects that you feel like. Support your well being in this season of your life.

And the pieces that you feel like do not resonate with you. Leave them here. I'm going to ask you a question that I ask a lot of my clients before we end our time. I'll go. What do you want to leave in the room? If you could symbolically reach through the screen and place something, a situation, a dynamic, in your hands and pass it through to me and lay it down so that you don't have to carry it, or you don't have to carry as much of it, or it didn't feel as heavy. I want you to leave something in the room, in the space that is no longer useful to you.

Maybe that's going to be perfectionism. Maybe you're going to leave some of your anxiety here. Maybe you're gonna leave some of your striving to the point of harm here. Maybe you're gonna leave a negative thought in the room that you've been holding, and you know, your day would be lighter and greater and smoother. Maybe you're gonna leave a situation that you're trying to control that is not your situation to control. Whatever it is, you can take that motion. You can post it as a way to boldly announce to yourself, I'm leaving this here.

I'm keeping you all in my heart, in my thoughts, and for those that are open to it, in my prayers, I hope you have an incredible day. Manage the expectations that you are placing on yourself and know that you're enough is always enough. And I will see you soon. Have a good one. You, our.