Expired Mindsets 🧠 w/ Dr.Charryse

Hello and good morning, Codrasphere. I hope everyone is doing well today. Let me make a slight adjustment so that you can see me. Well, have you had a good week? I feel like this week has been pretty fast, but. But good. Definitely no complaints. In full transparency and candor, I had to take some medicine for an autoimmune flare up, and I feel so groggy. I popped up about 20 minutes ago and was like, I need to get here. But I wouldn't miss this opportunity to be with you for anything. Thank you.

For all of you who are coming in and saying good morning. And so whether you're listening to this live or later on replay, I'm so glad that you chose to show up. If this is your first time here, I'm Doctor Charryse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner, and author. And my focus here in your life is, what does it mean to do the work to create peace and harmony? We typically start with a question of the day, and the question of the day for today is, what is one thing?

Over the past two weeks that has been a challenge that you handled well? Could be anything. So consider the last two weeks and something that you can now look back and go, that was really difficult in the moment, but here's an aspect of that challenge that you handled well. Why do we do this? Because when you take the time to bring up positive action steps that that you're taking, it takes your mind and moves it away from all of the really difficult things that you may experience. It helps remind you that even though there may be situations in your life that are still difficult in the moment that you're doing some work, and a lot of times, people underestimate the work that they're doing.

And I always want you to be able to see that, because when we're able to reflect and willing to identify and call out what we're doing, well, it breeds a sense of hope. It creates a level of neuroplasty as you are really noticing. Hey, my wiring, the way my mind is going, is starting to shift, and I'm going to read a few of them as you pop them in. Oh, that's wonderful, Lindsey. That's. That's really great. And that's even more challenging once an item that you have is already in your hand and then it goes away.

If you follow me on other social media accounts, which I would highly suggest, I mentioned that our focus for today was going to be on touch the wall. I get inspiration from some of the most random things, but I always feel like they're significant. So I was looking at a commercial for a swimmer named Katie Ledecky. So you may be very familiar with her. She's not just a swimmer, right? She is an Olympic swimming swimmer. And the commercial wasn't long, maybe 60 seconds, if that. But there was something about the narrator's commentation around her process.

And if she goes to the Olympics this year and she wins these awards, she's going to be the most prolific swimmer of all time. But there was something that struck me when the narrator says, but she says, yes, you know that commercial. You know, what do you do? What's your focus? And, you know, Katie basically says, I just know that I need to be the first hand to touch the wall. And so I want you to think of that analogy, swimming in a lane. But it's not about you being the person who needs to touch the wall first, not thinking of it as a competition between you and other people, but considering that there are moments where you are one place in your life, and, you know, here's an area where I want to be on the other side.

I want to win my race. Every morning we wake up and we're entering our own race, so to speak, whether by water or by land. And there is power in the concept of mentally and physically and spiritually knowing. I just need to put my head down and touch the wall and get to the other side. And so as I began to think about the process of swimmers, and, you know, what they need to do in terms of their body mechanics, I think there's three things that I want to bring to you before I then move that to something tangible.

Three things that stood out to me when I considered how a swimmer runs their race. That parallels to the daily race that we can run for ourselves. The first one is that when they're in their lane, yes, they're aware of, of the position of the people around them using their peripheral vision, but they know if they spend too much time looking at the lanes beside them, they will slow down and they will lose position. So question for reflection for you is, where are you spending so much time paying attention to what's around you that you're losing position, because we cannot swim our race and work to touch the wall while also being overly concerned.

And that's a question that I frequently ask you. If I make that question even more, if I simplify it even more, where are you distracted? If you think about your current situation, your current life, what's distracting you? And as a result, you're losing position, the position that has been set for your life. You're losing pace, you're losing focus. And you can always answer these questions while I'm talking if you want to, but. But I also then spend some time to reflect on them, because sometimes there are things that you aren't going to want to share with other people.

The second aspect of swimming that I knew, but it just stood out to me in a unique way, is that they wear earplugs. Right. They're specifically working, of course, not to get things in their ear. But we also know that earplugs are designed to limit the amount of sound that is coming into our system. Reflection question for you is, what do you need to dampen what is in your ear right now that is too loud? Someone's like the kitchen remodel that's starting today. Seriously? Right? And it's a joke, but there are moments where we invite reconstruction into our lives, but then it can be overstated, stimulating, if we're focused on too much of it.

So, yes, get the earplugs, Audrey. But I really want you to consider that what needs to dampen what's too loud in your mind right now, that might be an internal narrative that's too loud. It could be a worry, a fear, a concern, because all of those are factors that your body takes in as interoceptive awareness, which means how you take in all the sensory and the sounds around you. And we don't always recognize that when our internal narrative is too loud or we're spending time with people that are not encouraging to us and situations and relationships, that's overwhelming, it stimulates us.

Which then is going to impact how your limbic system says, is this a threat? Is this not a threat? Stimulus always impacts how you're responding in life. So where is there stimulus right now that you truly go, no, I actually do need to dampen this so that out of my reaction, I'm not reacting in ways that are overwhelming. Funny side story that I didn't even realize until years later, after my husband and I had been married. There are certain areas of clutter that he doesn't like. I'm a neurodivergent, so I keep stacks of clutter in certain ways.

You can walk in my house for the most part, and you would think, oh, my gosh, it's so clean. But there's little secret stacks of clutter. So over time, you know, as he comes behind me and helps rearrange different things, I was like, what is the deal? It's this it's a closet. It's a, you know, why is it a problem? But then what he realized was that due to some trauma, experiences in his own life growing up, clutter for him in certain areas or ways overstimulated him. Right. Reminded him of experiences that he was in where he couldn't get out of him.

And I was like, oh, my goodness, I would not have known. And I think it took him a while to even realize, but it was through that conversation. So I just share that little story to go. Don't underestimate how much mental clutter sound. Clutter. And the clutter of relationships that are overwhelming and discouraging can also then activate you to the point that you feel like you need to shut down. And then you're like, what is wrong with me? Someone else is mentioning something that, yeah, I do think is also helpful to consider is sometimes we might have a spouse or a partner, and they're in environments that are toxic and unhealthy, and it spills into their mindset and then comes to us.

So even people that we love, we may need to dampen the effect that they have on us. An unhealthy work environment will absolutely over stimulate your self. Yeah. The mental and physical clutter you have to get rid of to prepare to remodel. That's a whole word. I won't go there. I could, but I won't. The third thing about a swimmer that I feel like holds context and analogy for our mental well being and being able to move forward is this is probably my favorite part, is they use the lane ropes as a guide to maintain their position.

Anyone in life that wants to move forward, to stay motivated, that wants to succeed, recognizes there has to be some level of boundaries that keep them from going off the rails. So, reflection for you, where are your ropes? Where are you ignoring them and swimming deeply under them and excluding them? What are the vital habits and connections and experiences that help you stay in your lane so you can stay in position and touch the wall, which symbolizes getting to the other side of whatever you're working on right now or whatever you're working through.

You know, if you're a person that is in maintenance and you're working to maintain your health, touching the wall can be symbolic of making sure that you are constantly doing the reps and you're touching the wall and then knowing, okay, now turn and repeat. For others of you, you may be experiencing moments and situations and seasons right now where you're going. I'm just trying to get past this, and I'm exhausted and I'm not sure that I even have the breath to get there. You do. Whatever you're experiencing in this moment will not last forever, but you have to stay in your lane so that you can stay in position.

And that's going to be allowing certain aspects of your life to guide you, making sure that you're not paying too much attention to the things that are around you, that are not your problem, that are not your issue. Not being overly focused on what other people are doing and dampening whatever internal or external noise is starting to shut you down so that you can continue to cut through the water. And you know what I love is a lot of times, swimmers aren't trying to see the wall. They know that there are moments where that's not a part of the process.

There's an aspect of them trusting if they do the right thing and they continue to keep their mindset and their mentality well. If their endurance is up physically and mentally, all they need to do is extend an arm and they will know when they've reached the point that for that moment, they can stop. I read a book and I can't remember what, which one it is. I think it's in a book called the New you that is centered around health. And I'll leave you with this thought. They said, life is actually not a marathon, or it's pretty helpful not to always look at it that way, but to consider it a series of sprints that you burst through and then you kind of stop and then you catch your breath and you go to the next one.

And for my own thought process, I was like, you know, that's actually pretty reflective because we cannot run a marathon non stop all day. That's not something that we can endure. But there are moments where we can take a short sprint or swim and use that energy to get us to the next moment. Then we do. We have to stop, we have to catch our breath. We might have to go retrain, we might have to reset, and then another race comes. So I want to leave you with this final thought to go along with touch the wall.

You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to have everything figured out. You're not even going to always be able to see how is this going to work out. Your role is to stay in your lane and stay in position to move with endurance until you touch the wall and signify that this moment, this leg of whatever you are experiencing has now been resolved or pivoted or changed and then regroup. All right, think about the reflection questions that I gave you. Consider how you can ask yourself these questions on a daily basis.

If I were using this information, I would take those three questions and I would use them as a part of my reflection and awareness every day. What needs to dampen today? What ropes are in existence or need to be in existence? Where did I have some habits in place that were helping me stay in position and guiding me from not getting out of my lane that I let go? Right. And really reflecting on those when it comes to the current context of your life, because there is no power in work that you haven't done.

So take that dynamic, that concept, and really apply it to whatever you know you have or need in life. I see a few people going, I need to stop overthinking. I want all the answers before I start. Yes, that's a common aspect for us to want, but we don't. The goal is get started right? And then as you go along, more information will come. And as you get more information, you make choices based on the information that you have. But we're definitely not going to always have the answer. We have about two minutes left and I want to do something a little bit different.

Does anyone have any questions related to what I just said and how you can apply it or where you're considering applying it and you feel stuck? If so, I'm going to take another minute or so and see if your question comes up. But for those of you that need to hop off and continue with the rest of your day, I'm so glad that you came. Thank you for investing your time and your energy and continue to come back and continue to share this resource with others. Your investment in Cadre allows us to continue to build and improve the social media platform for mental health for others.

So I totally believe that every dollar is well spent throughout today. There will be other Cadre providers and creators talking about mental wellbeing. I encourage you to pop back in and check on them. Replays are phenomenal. I love them. But there's also something really special about being live. So whenever you have that opportunity to be live with someone. So question, what is a healthy amount of time to reset the lines of the pool lane in the moment? You know, truly you get to decide what that looks like.

Time in many ways is relatively. My thought is as long as you're resetting the lines, you're actively engaging in the healing process in the work. So even if that means that you have to kind of put things down one at a time. That is completely doable. Because if we try to rush it, sometimes we may put the lines down, but we don't secure them. That means we try to put in place two many habits too quickly. So if you're thinking about it even in terms of habit formation, I would encourage you to consider, let me do one more thing in your life.

You know, do one thing in your life and then build on it. Last question that I think is really great. Oh, someone's asking me real quick, when am I going to be in New Jersey? June. So I'll be in Pa, New Jersey in June. So I'll keep more information out there. If you're dampening something in your life, isn't that more like ignoring? No. When I say dampen something, I mean you're loosening or making the stimulation and how it's impacting you. Quieter. So if someone's in my environment and they are toxic because they're not in a good place, dampening would mean I may spend less time with them.

I'm not ignoring them, but I recognize when I spend too much time with them, I start talking like them. My attitude becomes like theirs. So in order for me to make sure that I'm protecting my energy, my spirit, I'm going to recognize that dampening them means we need to spend less time and connection. So it means reducing the things that are overstimulating you so that you have the energy to keep moving, to keep working. That's a really great question, but it's what do I need to quiet so that I can stay focused and centered versus ignoring something?

But great question. All right, I see that I might need to do a conversation and overthinking. I'll work on that for the future. I love you all and I hope that you have an incredible and amazing day. And I'll see you on Friday for if my plate could talk.