Evan, Cadre's Addiction and Mental Health Therapist, breaks down the unique relationship between clients and their therapists. This dynamic is like no other connection. There are rules in place to protect the delicate nature of this relationship that can be frustrating for some, but they are necessary to be maximally effective.
Research shows one of the number one predictors of a client's success in therapy is the quality of the relationship between the client and their therapist. Here are three reasons why and what you can expect out of a good, healthy therapist client relationship.
So what can you expect when you're going to see a therapist? I know this can be scary, especially if you've never done it before. I want to do this video because I find that the number one reason why people have a bad experience in therapy is because it just wasn't a good fit. So I want to talk about the three reasons why the relationship between the therapist and their client is so special and why it's so important. Research shows that one of the number one predictors of a client's success in therapy is the quality of the relationship between the client and their therapist.
Basically, how much do I like them? And I believe that fact is most important for therapists and clients compared to any other relationship between a medical professional and their patient. For example, think about if you needed surgery on your knee. Now, when you're shopping for a surgeon, you want to be sure that you trust the person, that you believe that they're skilled, and that they have your best interests in mind. However, when it comes down to surgery, I'd rather have a surgeon that's kind of a jerk, but that's going to do a good job on my knee so I don't experience pain just like a surgery.
The mental health intervention in and of itself is important. However, the relationship is just as important. And here are three reasons why and what you can expect out of a good, healthy therapist client relationship. I call this dynamic between therapist and client the sacred relationship. And I don't mean that in a religious way. It's just that the relationship is unique and special in a way that you cannot get in any other relationship in your life. The first reason it's special is because it's all about you in your other relationships.
It's a give and take where you give in the relationship and you also receive something. But in this case, it is all about you and your needs. When I try to explain this to clients, I give the example of going in for a massage. It's a similar type of relationship because imagine if I got a massage, and then afterward my massage therapist hands me the bottle of oil and says, okay, your turn. You are paying your hard earned money for that session to be about you and only you. The second reason it's so special is because it gives you an opportunity to be vulnerable in a relationship that you would never be able to otherwise.
Because in a typical relationship, if you shared all your deep, dark secrets could be used against you and it could affect that relationship dynamic you have ongoing with that person. In a healthy, therapeutic relationship, you should be able to share all of your secrets or insecurities and get feedback in a non judgmental and empathetic way. Holding on to all that negativity can be toxic. So having the opportunity to share those things and get positive feedback can be extremely healing. Remember, you are a worthy person no matter what.
And as a therapist, I truly and genuinely believe that number three is my favorite. And that is because you have an opportunity to practice relational and emotional dynamics that you can take and benefit from outside of session. What I mean by that is that when we go into relationships, we bring in a certain amount of trauma and shame, and this can be worked through in the therapy process in real time. One great example of this is when I work with female clients. A lot of them come in having trauma from men, and that affects the relationship they have with men in their life.
In this case, I cannot help the fact that I am a male. I am not just a clinician who is providing, providing evidence based practices. I happen to be another male in their life and what we do together is important. I have the opportunity to show them that they can have a positive experience with a man, that we're not all bad and dangerous. We call this a corrective emotional experience. The therapeutic relationship has rules and dynamics in order to protect that sacred relationship so that I as a clinician can be as most effective as possible.
For this reason, you and I get to experience this opportunity to have a relationship that you would get nowhere else otherwise. This is the reason why I became a therapist. This relationship has helped me and continues to help me, and I get this beautiful opportunity to be part of your healing. Now the question is, how do I find a therapist that's the best fit for me? Well, stay tuned for my next video where I share my tips on how to find a therapist that's the best fit for.
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