As a therapist, there is no escaping grief and loss when working with clients. In fact, none of us can escape grief or loss because it comes in so many forms. Whether it be the death of a loved one, relationships, leaving a job or entering a new phase in life, we all have to face loss. In this video, I teach you how I conceptualize grief and loss with some practical tips for helping the process move forward and not stay stuck.
When we go through a tragic loss, we're living in one of two worlds. The first is that of experiencing our emotions. The second is the world of moving on and living life. The grieving process is knowing when to live in one world or the other.
This is the simplest way I know how to break down the grief and loss process, because I get this question all the time and I can never go in as much depth as I'd like to. You see, when we go through a tragic loss, we're living in one of two worlds. And the first world is that of experiencing our emotions. And we're most likely to be here at the beginning, feeling sadness, anger, a whole mix of different emotions. And it's different for everybody. And it could feel overwhelming. And we're often not ready to move into the second world.
The second is the world of moving on and living life. And over time, you're more naturally going to go to this place when the emotion becomes less intense. However, where people get stuck in the grief process is they spend too much time in either one world or the other. On one hand, you get people who may be stuck in the emotion. Perhaps they feel guilty about moving forward, because, hey, if I move forward, that means I didn't love the person that I lost. And on the other end, you have people who want to move on too quickly.
They're afraid to experience those emotions because, well, they're overwhelming and they're uncomfortable. The grieving process is knowing when to live in one world or the other. It's moving back and forth. Eventually, over time, you become more ready to live in that world of moving on and living life. But there are times where you need to go back and experience those emotions. Whether it's a birthday, anniversary, or a reminder of your loved one. You have to stop and feel what you're feeling, and then again, be ready to move on.
We all experience grief differently, and that's okay. But we all need to allow ourselves to feel the emotions after a loss and eventually allow ourselves to be ready to move on.
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