If My Plate Could Talk

Hello, Kaidrosphere. It is so good to be back in this space with you. I hope your week has been great up until this point. And if it hasn't, every moment is a new opportunity for things to change and to shift. Be compassionate, be intentional, and be present. Be as present as you possibly can. If this is your first time here, I'm Doctor Charryse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner, and author. Your pseudo BFF therapist. And I come with you or come. Yeah.

I want to say with you. I come to you and with you on Fridays for. If your plate could talk, where we talk all things, life, health, grief, and everything in between. Come in. I love the good mornings. Hello, Kelly. Hello, Jules. I think I missed a few other names coming in. It's so good to see you. Hello, Andrea. We typically start two ways. Hello, Katherine. Hello, Audrey. Audrey, you're at the beach, right? I hope you're having a beautiful time. Gwen. Anyone else that I miss, let me know where you are in the world, especially if you're traveling, because we're all vicariously living through you and your incredible and amazing adventures.

And it's also very helpful for other people to see, hey, what's going on in the lives of the people around me and who might be in the conscious. Doctor Leslie, what's up? And then where they live so that you can be a part of things. All right. I have water today. It's not in a beautiful cup, but it's in a functional cup. But that's because I'm going to keep this nice and simple. Hold on. Mm mm mm. Usually I would tell you, take a sip, because there's something punchy there, but that's not necessarily true.

So I want to tell you a simple story. I was having a conversation with a friend and just, hey, how's it going? You know, how are things in your world? Hello, Pennsylvania. Hello, Georgia. Hello, Philly. Hello, Somerville. And she was saying, oh, it's okay. I'm just here really trying to survive. And there's something about that. Sorry. I'm going to fix this frame because I am mildly OCD. There we go. And the lack of it being symmetrical was getting to me. Back to the story. She said, I'm just trying to survive.

Have you ever said that to yourself? If you have put in the chat, I have. I think the concept of survival is a common thing that we say, and it's a way that we're telling other people, hello, northern Minnesota, hello, Michigan. That we are really just trying to get through. Or maybe it sometimes means that we're struggling. But I really want to hone in on the dynamic of you were made for more than just surviving that if you are surviving in any area of your life, while that's a good thing, I don't want to invalidate what it might be taking for you to survive.

Definitely not trying to invalidate that. But I want you to consider the dynamic that just surviving is actually the bare minimum of how you are called to exist in life. Survival, by definition, means the least amount that you can do to get through a situation. And again, while that can be helpful, my question for all of you today is, where are you surviving instead of thriving? In what areas of your life are you in survival mode where you should actually be thriving? And I am going to use should.

That's a term that I try not to say a lot. Here's why I'm using it in the context of today's question. Let's say you are in a relationship, friendship, work, relationship. It could be anything. And then you recognize that as you go through and you really consider how the dynamics of that exchange is that you're really going through the motions. That's a big part of survival. But as a result of that, you're also noticing something's off with you. You're not as fulfilled, you're not as interested.

It's more difficult to want to engage in other things. And really, you're called to thrive. And for some of you, that might mean that you need to make some changes in your life. You need to shift some things in your life so that there's a level of well being that exists where you are thriving more. Where. In what areas are you in survival mode when you could be thriving? And then part two of that reflection would always be, and what's standing in your way? What are you holding on to? What pattern are you holding on to?

What position position are you holding on to? What mindset are you holding on to that because you can't get past how you think things should be. Then as a result of that, you're satisfied and stuck. I'm going to take a sip right there for myself. Think about that. Is there anywhere in your life where you're you? You've been satisfied with being complacent? And now I want to pull in the dynamic of grief, because that's a big part of our focus here. This time of the week and on Fridays, we're all grieving something in some area of our life.

It could be a loss that we have around who we are and who we used to be. It could be the loss of a relationship that has changed. It could be the loss of an expectation that has not been met. It could be the loss that you're feeling around disappointment. So we also on if your plate could talk. Don't want to put the dynamic of grief and loss just into the bottle of a loss of a person. Because every day we're navigating things where we feel like, oh, this isn't working out the way that. And I hoped this isn't working out the way that I want.

And I bring that in because when we are focused on those areas of disappointment, of a loss of expectations that haven't been met, of unmet needs, that's when we can find ourselves in survival mode. Because you can get into this place where you're like, well, if life isn't giving me what I want, then I'm done trying. If life can't be the way I want it to be, if my plan is not working out the way I have intended, then I'm just going to do what I've always done. However, not ideal to do what you've always done.

If it is keeping you in a pool of complacency, I want to know your definition. How do you define complacency? Put in the chat. Let me know your thoughts. I think it looks different for everyone, and I think we can sometimes be. Again, I want to hone in on this. Complacently satisfied with things because they're easy, because they're comfortable. I didn't even know my earring just fell off. How funny. Because they're easy, because they're comfortable. But again, not recognizing that we always want to be on the edge of a little bit of discomfort, not because we want to constantly feel like we're fighting through life, but because being in a little adaptive and appropriate discomfort is actually what helps us grow.

It helps us to continue to evolve and learn ourselves and stay aware. Yeah, complacency can be not happy nor unhappy being in a place or a space of comfort. It can be reaching the status quo. Right. And staying there. But when that happens, you're missing out on stepping up and stepping into your purpose. Yeah. Acceptance of where you are and where you're doing. And acceptance is beautiful and wonderful. But we also want to be asking ourselves the question, where am I accepting something that isn't ideal for me to accept?

Where are we accepting things in our life that are okay, but as a result of it, it is keeping us starved. Yes, it's keeping us from being. Not being challenged. Right. So I want to encourage you today to push yourself a little bit in whatever area, you know. Yeah, I've been coasting here. Yeah, I've been thinking about doing this for a while and I just haven't stepped out because I've been afraid. Yes. Yeah. I have a big decision that I need to make and I've been putting it off because I'm waiting for the perfect conditions.

There's no such thing as the perfect conditions for a decision. Somebody needs to hear that today. You need to make a decision. You need to make a decision to move forward in the relationships, in the community, in the goals that you have set for yourself and trust that you can work it out along the way. Now, I don't ever want to leave you without having you consider two things. So if your plate could talk, what would it say? What are you noticing about how you're nourishing yourself in light of your comfort levels, where you're in survival mode, where your needs are unmet and where you're feeling complacent?

How are those dynamics impacting your appetite, your spending appetite, your eating appetite, your physical, emotional, spiritual appetite? What are you noticing and then what's on your plate in terms of all the areas of your life that you have said yes to? Is it time to say no to some things? Are there some responsibilities in your life that you've been doing that you really could use that room on your plate, metaphorically for other things? Are you overextended? Are you underwhelmed and not doing enough?

Whatever that looks like. Consider both your tangible plate and how you're nourishing yourself. And then take a close look at your metaphorical plate. What are you carrying? What are you shouldering that it's time to put down and off to the side, nice and simple, short and sweet, come back and listen to it as you need. And of course, continue to be in the sphere and stay in the space and get whatever you need. That's one of the things that I love about it. You can type in anything and someone is going to be there to encourage you and to talk to you in powerful ways.

For those of you that keep up with me on a consistent basis, this is also my weekend for change the narrative mental fitness for athletes or those who are highly athletic, that's tomorrow at 930 if you're listening to this in real time. So if I don't see you until next week, have a phenomenal weekend, take care of yourself. Take care of what's on your plate. Make some shifts as needed. And remember, knowledge is not power without application. So show up for yourself and do the work. I'll see you soon.