Is Your Survivor Status a Sash?

Hey, Cadre family doctor Carey here. Are you a survivor of something? Do you say that about yourself? Do you call that out? That you survived something horrible, that you survived a trauma? If you're like me, you have possibly taken that on as an identity. I actually used to wear that like a stash, that I was a survivor of sexual assault. And at the time, it served a purpose for me to have that identity because I was no longer a victim of sexual assault. I had graduated to survivor status, meaning I didn't stay stuck in that victim mentality anymore.

And I had overcome something, which meant I had done the hard work, and I had done the healing, the therapy that I needed to do to get past PTSD. I had done all that work. So I was a survivor of a horrible thing. But after a while, when that became my identity, I stayed stuck in that place, and it actually hindered me from growing and healing into further areas, because what happens when you take that on as an identity is that's all you become. And we often find our identity in so many things. I used to find my identity in work.

I could go on and on about what that looked like for me, but then you get wrapped up into, like, if I don't perform in this way, then really, who am I? Because that's not my identity. So I started doing that with my sexual assault. If I don't share my story with this many people, if I don't accomplish this with what's happened to me, if I don't get into nursing school, because I'm only going into nursing school because I was sexually assaulted, and I'm a survivor of it, and I overcame it. And this is now my identity that, like, I have to live this dream out because of what happened to me, it can actually then hinder those next steps and growth.

So I would just invite you to think about that. Do you wear anything like a sash? Do you have a banner over your head that says, you are a survivor of something? And is that hindering you from growing? Because it might be. Because what you're doing to yourself is you're identifying with that, and you're setting a limit on what you're capable of by saying, I overcame this. That's awesome. That is awesome. There's no other way to say it. I'm so proud of you for overcoming something. And then what does your life look like after that?

Not a, I overcame this, but it's I overcame this. I survived this. I did the work, and now what? And now that I can go about my daily life and not think about my sexual assault. Whereas when I started slipping into that mentality of I need to make sure I remember that I was sexually assaulted every single day because I almost died. I was stabbed and I could have died. And if I forget that, then I'm not grasping onto the true quality of life and enjoying every single day. Well, it really kept me stuck in that mindset.

So just invite you to think, is there something that you are taking on as an identity that doesn't need to be your identity anymore? You can still help other people that have gone through something similar. You can still share your story. You can still mentor other people and coach other people and walk with them through their journey because I guarantee God didn't bring you through that for you to not use it to help someone else. But don't let that define you as you just survived because you have truly overcome it and now you can integrate it into your daily life.

And maybe that looks different for you. Maybe it looks like that is your passion and your career to help other people that have been through something. Maybe it's that you go in a completely different direction and it's just a part of who you are, it's a part of your story, but it doesn't have to define you and it doesn't have to be your only identity. So I would just encourage you to do some self reflection on that to see if you are identifying with being a survivor of something and if that is limiting you from further growth.

Thanks for tuning in with me today, guys.