Rachel’s Room🛋️Monthly Check In

Happy Wednesday, Cadre crew. Hello. Hello. It is our last Wednesday of the month, last live of the month. And get some more light over here. So I thought it would be appropriate for us to do a monthly check in, because we haven't done that this month. So I'm gonna let folks trinkle in. Milo wants to say hello. He's been very needy lately. Milo, do you wanna check in, too? Do you wanna do a monthly check in? It's very good for your mental health. How's your mental health, Milo? We're gonna check in.

Okay. Hi, Russell. Happy Wednesday. Hi, Cathy. Happy Wednesday. We are gonna do a monthly check in today. This is something. Hi, Jules. That I struggle to do is check in with myself. And last night, actually, I would. So I typically, at night, I struggle to figure out what to do with myself. Milo is so demure. He's very modest, very mindful. Yeah. I struggle at night because I start to. That's when I start to realize how much I put off checking with myself all day long. So it's easy for me to keep busy during the day with work or moving my body or getting outside or talking to friends.

But I. After dinner time is when I start to go, okay, now, what do I do? Like, what do I do with myself? Like, what do people do at night? Like, what? What do people do? And I really struggle. That's usually when I end up binge eating or drinking or numbing myself with tv or scrolling. And last night, I was like. I had this feeling of, like, if I know if I turn off the tv, I'm gonna feel anxious, or I know if I turn off the tv, I'm gonna feel lonely or I know if I don't reach for food, I'm gonna feel sad.

And, like, a recognition of these things that I do to avoid checking in with myself are also the things that harm me. And so today, I was. I made an intention today of pausing throughout the day and checking in with myself to try and set myself up a little better in the evenings that I've checked in throughout the day and maybe mitigated some of those feelings that I've avoided or pushed down. So, with that being said, I think it's helpful as well to do sort of bigger check ins and to check in with ourselves on a daily basis, but also a weekly basis or a monthly basis.

Give ourselves the opportunity to sit with ourselves as if we are two beings talking to each other, me and me, and saying, how you doing? How is this month for you? Where is your heart at what do you feel like you really want for the next month for yourself? What's overwhelming you right now? What's scaring you right now? And having a really intimate conversation with self at sort of these milestone points. And so it's something that I would like to try and do more often. It's something I've been starting to do with you all here.

So thank you for keeping me accountable. So I'm just going to kind of today, just sort of talk to you about some things that are helpful to do on a monthly check in and sort of walk you through what that process might be. And then in your own time, either today or when you have some time this week before the month ends, I'm going to invite you to do this on your own. So the idea is to take some time for yourself. This can be five minutes, ten minutes, 30 minutes, an hour, whatever feels appropriate for you.

I like to think of this similarly to like, if I'm starting exercise for the first time and I've never exercised before, I'm not going to go work out for an entire hour. Additionally, if I'm really, if I'm really familiar with exercising, I'm not going to go work out for 3 hours because that would hurt my body. So we want to try and be, give ourselves time to do something that is new without burning ourselves out the same way we would with our physical bodies. We want to treat our minds the same way.

So if you don't ever check in with yourself, start small. Start with like five to ten minutes of this practice. If you're pretty good about routinely checking in with yourself or tending to your mind with things like mindfulness or other mental health practices, maybe do sit down for 30 minutes with yourself. Um, I'll probably do like a 30 minutes sit down session with myself. Uh, so finding about, you know, a specific amount of time and setting aside time for that, the same way you might set aside time to go to the gym or, I know I use the gym or working out as an analogy, but I think that's just because it's so mainstream for us to think about that as like a concept.

So it's an easy analogy. Um, hopefully mental health will become that one day. Uh, so setting aside 30 minutes to do a check in with yourself and finding somewhere in your home or somewhere outside of your home where you feel really safe, private, comfortable. I usually sit at my living room couch, set some nice music for yourself, maybe some meditation music or anything that's soothing and calming for you. Maybe light a candle or an incense set the mood in a way that feels, like, really comforting and loving for the self.

Think about it in terms of if you were going to set up a nice little, like, set something up nice for a friend, like, how would you set it up for them? Would you like candles for them? Would you put a cup of tea out for them? Would you give them a nice blanket to wrap around themselves? Like, what would you do for a friend if you were setting up a little safe space for them and do that for yourself? And then I usually like to use a journal, like a handwritten one, because I find that that slows me down and also keeps me off my screen and away from distractions.

So using a journal and grabbing a pen, putting my phone on do not disturb, and then asking myself some questions, both about the month that has passed and about the month that is coming. So some of these questions might be, you know, what was, what's something I was really proud of from this month? What was something that was really challenging for me this past month? You can ask yourself, you know, what? What is something that I haven't let go of from this month that I'd like to, to, and starting to kind of reflect on the past month without any judgment, without looking for answers, just as a way to gather information.

So when we reflect back, it's good to just use that as data collection rather than looking at it as with an evaluation of having done it right or wrong because it's already in the past. Instead, we look at it with a non judgmental lens as a data gatherer so that we can use that for information for us moving forward. And then you can ask yourself questions about the month ahead. What are, you know, what is one goal I have for myself in September? What is something I'm really looking forward to in September?

How do I want to feel in September? You know, what is it that I'm scared of that's coming up or not coming up? Where does fear live in my body around the month that's arriving and starting to look ahead a little bit so that we can sort of prepare ourselves for what might come or might not come, which can create a little bit more stability and security in the self as we move into a new month and then giving yourself an opportunity to check in the present moment. How do I feel today? How's my body today?

What do I need right now? What do I need today as I transition from this month to the next to support me based on what I know about how the last month meant? The last month went and what I know about what might be coming in this next month and really getting, getting close to what it is that you need and being able to provide that for yourself and maybe listing out things that you can do for yourself to set yourself up for the next month. Because you are your biggest fan, your biggest cheerleader, your biggest supporter, and you are the person that is going to provide you with all of these things.

And you can, you're so capable of it. So giving yourself a chance to actually check in with yourself like you are another person, like you are your own friend or your own daughter or son or child and saying, what do you need? How can I support you in this next month? What did you learn from this last month? And how can I encourage you as the next month comes around? And the more tenderness we can provide for ourselves in that self dialogue, the better we set ourselves up for the next month to come.

Okay, I hope that was helpful. Also, if you are a big journaler, I have monthly journaling prompts. I haven't put any up for this month yet, but I have monthly journaling prompts on my sub stack and that's a really great space for. And you can really use those any month. Sometimes they're month specific, but you can use them for any month if you're struggling with things to ask yourself. So that is just, you can just Google Rachel Havocost sub stack. It's called the messy middle. And yeah, so if you need journaling prompts, that's a great place to start.

Okay, my loves, I hope this was helpful and I hope that you have a lovely rest of your day and I will see you in September. So please have a lovely long weekend. Be safe, take care of yourselves.