If My Plate Could Talk: “Managing The Weight Of Responsibility”

Hello, beautiful people. It is Friday, the end of August. If you're listening to this in the moment, can you even believe we are at the end of another month? I feel like 2024 has gone so fast. I feel like 2024 has been another interesting year. But all that matters is that you are here right now. So good to see all of you. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Depending upon what time you choose to come and show up in this space, this is your first time here. I'm Doctor Charryse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner and author.

And on Fridays, we get together and talk about if your plate could tie, talk metaphorically and tangibly, what's on your plate, what are you carrying? What are you holding? And how is it impacting the way that you care for yourself? As always, I'm excited about the topic that I want to get into today. But before I do, two things. One, where are you right now? Good morning from DC. I see you already. Those of you who are familiar, you know the ropes. The other thing that I want you to consider, hello from states, rural Georgia, is, how are you doing this week?

You can decide whether or not you answer that question in the chat or you just really answer that question for yourself. What's up, southern New Jersey? But how are you? Hello from Atlanta. Represent is how are you doing this week? Because for some of you, maybe a lot of you, it's been a week. Hello, good morning, Columbia. And it's so important just to stop for a moment and go, how am I doing? Where's my head? Where's my heart? What do I need? Right? And I want to start you off with that, and I do want to encourage you to put this question, your response, I want to invite you to put this in the chat, what do you need through the weekend or in the days ahead, or maybe just today, in light of how your week has been, because it's very easy to get so caught up in managing, taking in processing, digesting, moving through, planning, executing, and not stop and go, whoa, what do I actually need to help re center, rebalance, refocus?

What's on your physical plate? What's on your metaphorical, emotional plate? What do you need? I see stability, consistency, breath. I'm gonna even answer that question for myself. I feel like I need quiet. And not even necessarily I have to sit in stillness, although, you know, I do love my stillness, but just some serenity, some grounding, some calm, some quiet. And so part of what I'm going to do for myself is really be intentional? About. Okay, how do I cultivate that for myself today? The days ahead.

And what does that look like? Regardless of what I may already have scheduled, which leads me to what I want to talk about today. Sometimes you will need to make decisions that hurt other people's hearts, but bring you peace. You know the weight of responsibility that you're carrying. You know what you have taken in this week? The level, someone just said it, of overstimulation, the level of overwhelm. Whatever it is, you may be in a different place. You may have had a great week. Right? Every live isn't for everyone, but for those who it is, if you know, you know, right?

Whatever it is that you need, I want to encourage you as much as I possibly can. Give it to yourself at all cost. Prioritize what you need. Even if someone else disagrees, needs to do something different that's on them. And remind yourself you're not responsible for the emotions, the welfare, and the actions of anyone. So don't put what you need on pause any longer if that's what you've been doing. Pull back, reset. Regroup. Go find joy. Go find happiness. Go find rest, tranquility, quiet, whatever it is that you need, I need you to make that a priority.

Even if other people get disappointed, because only you know the true magnitude of what's landed on you this week. That's the thing that we have to keep in mind. We really can't look at people and know what they're going through. We also can find ourselves in the middle of situations that we thought, oh, this is how it's going to impact me. And then we realize, oh, this is how this impacted me. And sometimes those things catch us off guard. So if you're the kind of person that you need somebody to give you permission to give yourself permission to do what you need to do, I want you to continue to do that.

And if you have been doing that this week, continue. Carry on. I have a friend of mine, amazing friend, statement that they often make. Carry on with whatever it is that you need to do that is bringing you peace, regardless of what anyone else says, because no one will ever know what you need more than you. And it is up to you to stay centered and grounded and focused on what's important. Don't let what's happening outside of you destroy what's inside of you. Life will life, often unexpectedly. But we have this incredible innate ability to protect our peace if we are willing to sometimes make hard choices, to pull back, to move forward, to move in a different direction to pivot whatever it is that you need, I want you to make sure that you give that to yourself unapologetically.

You're going to sometimes need to make decisions that may hurt another person's heart, but brings you peace. You may not be in that situation right now, but keep that in the back of your mind as you move forward, and they will be okay. They have to do their work and you do what's best for you. Along that same lines of taking care of yourself, protecting your piece, making sure that you identify what you need unapologetically. I also want you to consider what's on your plate that needs to come off.

If you have something to write with in front of you, I actually want you to make a big circle. That's your plate for today. I'm going to be quiet, I really am, for like 90 seconds. And in that 90 seconds, I want you to either think about, conjugate, or write down all of the things that are weighing on you or all of the responsibilities that you are currently managing right now. What's on your plate. I really encourage you, if you can, to write it because we keep so much in our head that we underestimate what we're managing.

I'm going to be quiet for 90 seconds starting now. And you're also welcome to put some of those things in the chat if you're comfortable. What's on your plate, tangibly, metaphorically, go. I feel your heaviness. Take some deep breaths as you identify what's on your plate. I can feel it. I can feel the like. Shoulders back, deep breaths. We're facing it together. What's on your mind? What's weighing on your heart? What are you battling in your spirit? What responsibilities are you carrying? I love what I'm seeing in the chat.

For those of you that have the opportunity, check in to what your community is saying and sharing. And thank you for the courage and the authenticity to share. I honor your shares. What happens in Cadre stays in Cadre. We hold it here. Yeah. And also know that sometimes what's on your plate can be a variety of really great things and really overwhelming things and really hard things all at the same time. But you always get to decide what's there. I want you to keep a few things in mind as you work on managing the weight of responsibility that exists in your life.

Prioritize as you continue to identify. And I encourage you to take this process with you, even off screen. Really prioritize out of all the things that are on your plate right now, metaphorically and tangibly, what needs to move to the top. And let me say this on a side note, if you are not on your list, I need you to put you on your list of what's on your plate. Two, delegate. Who are the people around you that are capable of helping you, that you are not relying on because you're trying to do everything by yourself, please reach out and ask for the help and the support that you need so that the things that are on your plate can shift so you can prioritize, rebalancing and renegotiating what you're holding.

Number three, manage your time. And I'm going to give you a twist on this, and I don't mean manage your time in the sense of do all the things that you need to do to make sure that you use every minute of time. I actually want you to manage your time to the point that you make sure that you have space for rest. So in the time that you have available to you, prioritize, do the things that are necessary and do the things that bring you peace, but do not incessantly try to keep things going. Space is so important for harmony, for balance, for healing.

And if you believe that keeping yourself constantly busy is the way it is not, it is the path to burnout, the path to overwhelm. And that's not what I want for you. Number four, take care of your physical and your mental health. One of the challenges to win life lives is that mental exhaustion, you hear me, will take you out physically. If you know that's true, say it's true. Mental exhaustion is more challenging than physical exhaustion. Physical exhaustion, the body responds. A couple of hours, couple of days, it sets back.

But mental exhaustion zaps you and zaps your physical energy. So to the degree that it's comfortable, hold your line. Maybe you can't do what you've always done physically, but don't you dare stop moving your body because that movement also helps us digest and process. So find something. Maybe it's a walk in the park outside, a hike with a friend, a solo walk with amazing music in your ears, or a podcast, whatever it is, you go stay at a hotel for a night and swim in an indoor pool and treat yourself.

But whatever you do, take care of your physical and mental health. And don't let what's happening around you destroy what you've built inside of you. Within balance, within reason. Protect it at all cost. Other things to consider. Be mindful of what you need. Good morning. Cain 1906. Be very mindful of everything that you need and give that to yourself. Managing the weight of responsibility doesn't mean you take care of everything else and everyone else at the expense of yourself. It means if we start, go back to where we started.

You start with, what do I need today? What do I need right now? What do I need to do? What do I need to stop doing? What do I need more of and fight to give that to yourself because you are so worth it. I don't want to overwhelm you with thoughts, but I want to remind you to hold your center, that sometimes you will have to make decisions and choices that hurt the heart of other people, but bring you peace. And I want you to fight to cultivate the peace that you deserve to experience in life. Hey, if no one has told you, do you know that you deserve to experience peace?

You deserve to experience happiness. You deserve a move through life in a way that honors your needs and keeps you on the list. And that your whole purpose and aim in life is not what you do for other people. And that if you never did anything else for anyone else, you still have an abundance of worth and value. You are an incredible soul and if you've had a hard week, I'm so sorry. Feel my virtual hug from me to you. Appropriate hug, but also take a deep breath. Open your mind up to what's possible.

Remind yourself that it will not always feel this way and that you refuse to sit too deeply into anything that is crushing you. Remind yourself that you are loved, that you have so much worth and value, and that there are better days ahead than what's behind. It's a new day. It's a fresh opportunity. Start with what you need and move from there. And don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing the best you can. You really are. Perfection is not required. Just continue to show up in your life in any way that you can.

And if there's anything on your plate or anyone on your plate that needs to come off, give yourself permission to do that and have an amazing rest of the week. And of course, I'll see you soon. Thank you for being here. Thank you for choosing to come replay this as many times as you need to fill my heart, extending from here all the way to you. You are not alone. And to the degree that you want me to be, I am with you. And if you need me, you know where to find me. Have an amazing weekend. Talk to you soon.