Speak Wonder

And we're live. And my cuckoo clock is signaling the 11 o'clock hour. Hello, Cadresphere. Do you like my sweatshirt? Cuddles and coffee. I don't know if it appears backwards or correctly on your screen, but it's a Cuddles and coffee day in northwest Pennsylvania by the Erie Bay. I didn't even mean to rhyme and I did it anyway. Ha. Oh, she's on fire. So I see Jocelyn's here. I see Daryl's here. Hello and welcome. I love inviting you into conversation and coffee and all things harbor pilots on Thursday's caregiver day.

This is a very special hug and a mug because it says grandma established 2021. This was a Christmas gift in 2021 December, when my daughter and her husband announced they were expecting Good morning Jules. And so I was of course thrilled and delighted and surprised and knocked over with pure joy when I found out that I was going to be a grandma for the first time. And little Matilda June was born in hello, August of 2022. And she is a joy to behold. Matilda is called Tilly in the family. I call her Tildy or Tilda.

She has other nicknames. She's just a little powerhouse. And she just had her third birthday this past August. Here we are nearly at the very end of September. So I'm having my hug in a mug and I am doing what some people refer to as reentry. That's when you've been on a vacation and you're having a little struggle reentering the atmosphere of your real life, the one that you left for eight days. I was in a tiny little harbor town called Punta Gorda, Florida and I shared a vacation home with my good long time friend Karen.

We had a wonderful combination of rest, rejuvenation, swimming in their saltwater pool. Oh, was that something else? Looking out to harbors and canals and what I mean by a combination is it was restful. And we also did some day trips. We went to a wildlife refuge and we met an owl named Orion who can no longer live in the wild because of an injury. So Orion is surrounded by caregivers, volunteers and staffers who make sure he's healthy and well. He's a barred owl. And he hooted for me, which was a special thing because they don't do those things always by request.

But Araya did. And there was an osprey. There were two bald eagles, many different species of birds, mostly a couple of turtles and some other things that are native to the Florida Gulf Coast. No sooner did I fly home this past weekend to Erie and try and get resettled. Then I learned there is a storm, which you're probably hearing about as well, over the Gulf of Mexico, looking to land today, perhaps hit land today or maybe tomorrow with very high winds. They're saying 90, 90 mph winds. And I think it has a name.

I apologize, I forget the name of this storm system. I'm relieved to have escaped that because we had some lovely days on the open sea in a boat. I'm grateful to have missed that. But I'm also vigilant and watchful and prayerful for those who are in the path of that storm right now. Florida people are tough people, and they know what to do to bolster up their homes. And so they're doing that now. So I wanted to talk today about harbor pilots specifically. You know, that is my favorite topic in the world of caregiving and in life in general.

And a harbor pilot is that friend, that relative, that support person who comes alongside. And just like a. A paid harbor pilot in many of our harbors all over the world, they climb into a small boat and they risk maybe their schedule that day or they take certain measures to make sure you're okay. So the harbor pilot sails to the boat that is coming into a port that they don't know. And the harbor pilot gets out of the boat and climbs up a rope ladder, which is risky all by itself. Sometimes it's tossing around in the wind and they have to hang on in their train to shimmy up that rope ladder like a pro and get to the top and get to the steerage and steer you in safely so you can dock and have a rest or respite.

Perhaps you have a friend who comes in and sits with your loved one so you can go shopping or go get a shower or go see your kiddos. Something that gives you some respite. All kinds of harbor pilots. And today I just wanted to mention that not one size fits all. I learned this in Florida just a few days ago while on a sunset cruise in Port Charlotte Bay. It was a fabulous evening, and I had been on a cruise the previous day. And the serendipitous thing was, on the previous day's cruise, which was a daytime excursion to an island, my friend Karen won a raffle ticket for a free sunset cruise.

And at first we were in such a quandary. We started saying, when can we do this sunset cruise? I guess we'll have to come back to Florida another time. And then something kicked in. It's Called spontaneity. I recommend it. It's a good practice. Spontaneously we both said, let's just go on the sunset cruise the next evening. We're still here. It's the night before we fly away to our homes. She lives in Knoxville, I live in Pennsylvania. So we jumped on that opportunity and we went on the sunset cruise the next evening.

Same boat, different crew. What I learned from those two cruises was two styles of steering and relating from the captain. On the day trip to Cabbage island, or they call it Cabbage Cay, I talked to a captain, Captain Dan, and he was just fabulous and told me a lot about his experience of being a harbor pilot driver. Now this is a component I hadn't even thought about or learned about specifically. So I love that in the Cadre we learn together. So any good harbor pilot worth his salt has to have a good driver.

Because after all, the harbor pilot's job is to go up the Jacob's ladder rope, accompany that captain into safe harbor. What happens to the boat? Well, it doesn't just willy nilly stay in the harbor. There's a driver who's assigned to that boat and needs to drive it back, put it back in its little place until the next call. Captain Dan was a harbor pilot. He did that job for a good long time. Some of the time was in a coastal area in Georgia. I want to get this right. Let me see. I have my little notes here.

Where was he exactly? Oh my, I do know he was in Hudson Bay, also in New York City and he drove pilots out to the ships there. It was New Jersey, not Georgia. He was a harbor pilot driver. So a boat driver in the Hudson, New York City harbor and also in New Jersey. Various times in his career he told me so many things that I could probably explore with you in future lives. There was so much fodder there for me to learn about and then to have ready for you as we talk about caregiving. Dan was fabulous.

Really enjoyed his company and he was so gracious to let me stand in the, in that glassed in area where he does the steering and the navigating and the communicating with not only his passengers, but people back on shore so they know at all times where the boat is and how we're doing. The next day was the harbor cruise. That was only a two hour tour and we had a different captain captain that was Jim and he had a whole different style than Dan, just entirely different as a caregiver. And that's what I'm getting at today on the Cadre.

Looking at my time, making sure I stay in my window. So Captain Jim, on the sunset cruise the following evening, invited anybody. He got on his microphone, he said, anybody here on the boat who'd like to steer tonight, you're welcome to come in. I'll even let you wear my hat. And so that was different and new and fun. There was a group of young ladies that were clearly. At least Karen and I were able to kind of deduce from their. Their lively behavior and their. Just their fun times and their age and the way they were dressed so beautifully that it was probably a bridal excursion, bridal shower excursion.

So it was the bridal party, having a nice time together pre wedding. And they were just. They were so much fun to watch. They were just so great. And they each went in. Well, not all of the ladies, but several. There were probably about nine in that group of young ladies. And I'd say four or five of them put on the captain's hat. And this is my little. I always have to have a visual aid. And steered the boat. And of course, Captain Jim was close by, ready to take over if he needed to. It was calm waters.

And so Karen nudged me over, she said, I know you want to drive this boat. I said, that would be really neat. I'd like to steer the boat. So I went in, I got the captain's hat, and yes, I have pictures, and yes, I'll post them in the conversation piece that we do here. And Captain Jim was a whole different approach to the way that he pilots and the things that he told me about maritime law, which I can share in future lives, and some of the things that he's experienced while out in the open waters and then in the harbor and how those waters are very different and different dynamics.

And so he had a different approach and style and personality as he approaches his job. Two different men, Captain Dan, Captain Jim, Two different approaches to the same detail, the same job. Even the crew had a different vibe and energy and dynamic each time, which was just lovely to experience. So what I'm really wanting to communicate to you beautiful people today is that in your dailiness of caregiving, never discount the idea that you are uniquely you. You are made in a way that you are equipped for the job ahead of you.

I lost my place. Ah, journal keepers are notoriously disorganized. Did you know that? So what I learned from these two styles of piloting on those boats is that there is no template for caregiving. There is no magic formula. There's no school that you go to you just jump in and you're there. Matter of fact, a lot of people don't come up and take a breath and realize I'm a caregiver until they're thick into it. Everyone's different and we all speak out of our own gifting and we are uniquely gifted.

You are uniquely you tailored and crafted for the job ahead of you today and tomorrow and the next day. So who's your crew? Who's your captain? Treasure them. Let them love on you. You do you and marvel at the way that you are uniquely gifted to do the things that you must do. Colleen talks about the sandwich generation and I feel like I'm sort of there as well because I caregive my 91 year old mom. And I'm also Oma. Some people are Grandma. I'm Oma, which is German for grandma. Oma to two delightful children.

My grandchildren are Tilly and Ollie. And Oliver is going to observe his fourth month on this planet, the end of this month, which is basically this weekend, starting to roll sideways, smiling all the things that babies do. Take a moment. Pause for a breath, if you would. Let's take a breath right now. Breathe in. Hold it. Exhale. You are worthwhile. You are worthy. You are enough. You are more than enough. Delight in that. And I'll see you next week on caregiver day as we continue our discussion of harbor pilots.