Prepare Your Leadership

Hello, Cadre Sphere. Happy Monday. Almost forgot what day it is. Getting towards the back half of November already. Crazy. I'll give it a minute here. Wait for people to join. Hope you're having a great Monday start to your week. Starting off strong. I'll introduce myself a little bit. I'm Matt Tappy. I'm a graduate student in industrial Organizational psychology. And a lot of my research focuses on leadership in the workplace, dealing with emotions, identity burnout. Hello, Ben. Welcome, welcome.

Happy Monday. Speak, Wonder. Welcome. Happy Monday. Thank you for joining. I want to start today with taking a minute to kind of pause halfway through your day and having coffee, hopefully. It's nice. I want you to. To do a practice I love to do every single day. It's called the Three Things of Three, where we start by naming three emotions that we're feeling. Hello, Jules, Welcome. I want you to name three emotions that you're feeling. Could be emotions, could be kind of more physical things. Maybe you're cold or running hot.

Maybe it's something like stress. So name three emotions that you're feeling. You can get as detailed or more or less specific as you want. And this has been found to be one of the biggest. By naming emotions, can be one of the biggest and best ways to reduce the effect emotions have on us. Hello, Jules. Coffee. Love to hear it. Love to hear it. I got my own cup right here too. So after you name three things that you're experiencing, emotions, or maybe the sensations, I want you to name three intentions that you have for the rest of your Monday today.

What are three things you want to feel? You know, focus, clarity. What are three things that you want to feel and turn to? Is that what you're feeling right now? Speak. Tough Monday. Overwhelmed anger and anxiety. It's great to just name it first. That's the best. First place to start is naming it. And three intentions. How can we use that focus and that energy that sometimes negative emotions bring to us? How can we use that to fuel the rest of our day? You know, maybe that can turn into some more focus.

Yes. Great. Love that. Call a friend. Always great to call somebody else or get it out some way and then do some artwork. Love, love to it. Love that. So, yeah, it's your three sensations, three emotions, the three intentions, and then I just want three gratitudes that you have. Three gratitudes that you have for. For what's going on. Could be something from over the weekend. Maybe it's Monday morning. Maybe for speak, it's that friend you're gonna call. Maybe you're grateful for them and then you can tell them how grateful you are taking a walk with a dog.

Yeah. Great, Great. So great. List of three. Lists of three right there. It's practice. I do every morning. It's feels good and it's scientifically proven on three different areas and how that can improve well being. Now for the second half of my life, Ecstatic, bewildered and simply happy today. That's awesome. That's wonderful, Jules. I love it. I love the bewildered. I love that. For safe friends, good books and Cadre. Yes, yes. We provide good communities. Good safe community. And I'm wondering what books you're wondering or you're reading right now.

Speak. Because I'm a big book nerd and I love a good book recommendation. If you got it. If you got one for me. If not, you don't want to share, that's okay too. But yeah. And for the second half of the live today, I'm going to change kind of things here and go into an article that I found that can relate to leadership. And I'll explain it in terms of leadership, but remember, I know a lot of others on Cadre, say a lot of others on cadres talk about leadership, but really when we talk about leadership, it can be if you're leading a company down to just leading yourself, you can be a leader of yourself and what you own as a person.

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed. I've never heard of that author. I'll check it out. Thank you. Speak. Thank you. So there's a, there's an article that was just published within a month and it's talking about does what others can not, can and cannot see really matter? And it's getting down to reputation and identity. So this explores the valley of understanding both how leaders and yourself view themselves and how others view them. And how does that relate to, like, their leadership effectiveness?

So when they look at it, they call arena. They use the word arena to describe, you know, agreement between what I see and what you see. If we rate myself the same on, let's say, fairness, if you think I'm fair and I think I'm fair, that's general agreement. And that's called what they call the arena. That identity is something where I might rate myself higher, you might rate me lower. In fairness, that's going to be a discrepancy there. And an identity theory, when there's a discrepancy between how I feel about something and how you feel about something about me, there's going to be some negative emotions tied to it whether it's, you know, I think I'm very fair.

So I would rate myself as an 8 and you don't think I'm fair. So I would rate myself as a 5. When I see that that's going to cause some negative emotions. So when I think I'm really good at something and you don't think I'm good at it and I hear that it's going to cause some negative emotions, but you know, kind of shocking or you know, you wouldn't expect it. But if I got rated higher, let's say I rated myself as an 8 in fairness, he rated me as a 10. That's still going to cause some negative implications.

I'm still going to want to get myself back down to that 8 rating. So you see me as the same as I see myself. So that can relate to anything. That's this general identity theory is that we want others to kind of feel the same way that we feel about ourselves. Whether that's they might think we're worse in a category or better, we still would want to raise it or lower it to match that. So when we look at it, they found that when the way that the followers rate the leaders and how the leaders rate themselves, when that's incongruent, that can predict effectiveness.

So when we rate each other the same, that's a good, that's a good measure of if I'm being effective, we're rating each other pretty similar. I'm an effective leader. If I feel the same that you, if I feel the same way that you feel about me, that's going to lead to some effectiveness. However, also they could predict effectiveness by the ways that they differentiated in rating. So if I rated myself differently than how you rated my rated me and we can use those differences to see how I can be an effective leader.

And this has big implications on development as a leader. So if I rated myself as an eight in fairness, you gave me a five. Well, I know that, you know, I think I'm good in fairness, but I'm not getting that across to the people I'm following. So I need to change something in my leadership to improve how I am fair to others. So everybody is in agreement and agrees with my how I see myself. And that has big implications for well being as well for the leader in the well being of followers, this effect of leadership.

So how can we bring this outside of just leadership context and into ourselves? Well, if we look at the world and we think that, you know, I think I'm a considerate person, but maybe I'm not getting that enough across to other people. How can I find ways to increase my consideration to others? So how can I use my identity and how I think of myself to match that with my reputation, what others think of me? So we don't have to do it here, but I think a good exercise is always doing, you know, an identity evaluation of ourselves.

What is important to us? What are the key characteristics that are important to us in our values and our meaning? What is important for us to come across as you? That might be considerate. Maybe that's being fair, maybe that's being honest. That's all up to you. A good way to do this. If you don't want to struggle with the awareness that that needs, you can just go to Via Strengths Finder. This is an unpaid advertisement for Via Strengths. But go on Via Strengths and find out your top values and what you yourself value the most and you can start trying to implement that into your life, you know, because that is your identity.

That's how you think of yourself. How can we match that and get other people to think of you the same way? So I'm kind of ending it on more of a self evaluation thing and self thinker. But I hope you have a great rest of your day every Monday and great rest of your week. We have a great, a lot of lives here on Cadre today. You can check them all out on the calendar at the top of the app and. And I hope you have a great rest of your day. Thanks for joining everybody. Bye.