If My Plate Could Talk: “5 Ways To Manage Your Mental Health Through The Holidays”

Hello, Cody Sphere. It is Friday. If you're listening to this in real time, forgive the background printing. It'll stop in just a moment. But all that being said, welcome to if youf Plate Could Talk, where we come together on Fridays and really look at what's on your plate tangibly. What's on your plate metaphorically. If this is your first time here, I'm glad that you chose to come. If you have been with us before or you're a regular here, welcome back. It's great to see you. Send me some emojis.

So I know that your presence is here. And you can always use those reactions based on how you're feeling. I will not take them personal. Let's just put that out there and then let me know where you are in the world. I am back home. It feels great to be back home. Miss you guys for a little bit this month. Been doing a lot of traveling, but all really good things. Things Here we are also. Happy birthday, Lindsay. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Lindsay Happy birthday to you.

Yay. Everybody wish Lindsay happy birthday. That's pretty impressive that you chose to come here on your birthday. So I'm glad that I could be part of that day with you. And I hope that you have some fantastic things planned. What's up, New Jersey? In the house. What's up, up, Minnesota? I'm actually learning where some of you already are. And so that allows me to go ahead and say, good morning. Hello, Houston. Who else did I miss? Did I miss anybody else who has told me where they are? Hello, Virginia.

And then we'll see what's up, North Carolina. I never say that. And I'm here. What's wrong with me? I'm so sorry. So it's the holiday season. Hello, South Carolina. Hello, Erie, Pennsylvania. And let me also give this caveat. Everybody doesn't celebrate the holidays. So I want you to take what we're going to focus on today and either look at it. Hello, New York. Hello, Wisconsin. In terms of how to support your mental health during this season of the year, or how to support yourself through the holiday season, the tips and tools that I'm going to run through today will be useful for you wherever you are.

What's up, Buffalo? Here's the first thing that I want you to do. I want you to think about the rest of the year, what you know is coming in your life between now and the end of 2024. And I want you to choose three things you want to experience during this time. Those three things could be all over the map. If you're comfortable, add them into the chat. Maybe you want to experience rest. Maybe you want to experience connection. Maybe you want to experience less grief. Maybe you want to experience time for yourself.

It could be anything, but I want you to really think about yourself. Not what you need to do, but what you want to experience. Three different things you want to experience over the next month and a half. Here's why. Oh, I love that victory. I want those three words, emotions, actions, peace, to set the tone for every choice you make. I want you to consider when someone asks you to do something, when you think about signing up for something, when you think about saying yes or no. How does your decisions line up with what you say said you want to experience?

Focus. Right? Is whatever decision that you're about to make going to allow you to experience more focus? Or is it going to take away from its focus? Connections, abiding joy, more rest. Yes, keep it coming. Spiritual growth, community. Could be a number of things and it's personal to you. Once you have those one to three words down, because maybe you couldn't think of three, I want you to keep those words in front of you. Put them on a post it, put it on your steering wheel, put it beside your computer, put it on your mirror.

Because you are then visually reminding yourself, this is what I deserve to experience. Peace with my heart, Focus, confidence, peace with myself. And I want that to be your landing place when you think about everything that you do. Keep that in mind as we talk about five ways to manage your mental health during the holiday season. Number one, Set realistic expectations for yourself. It is so important for you to make sure that the expectations that you are setting for yourself between now and the end of the year are based on how you feel right now.

How are you feeling this time of year? I want you to think about everything that you've done, everything that you've endured, everything that you've launched, every push you've made, every relationship you've entered, every relationship you've moved away from, the grief that you're holding, the joy that you are cultivating and given the way that you have found yourself. November 15th ish. Depending upon when you listen to this, what's realistic to expect for yourself? Let me give you an example.

If you were in a place right now that you're like, I am tired and I don't just mean physically tired, but it has been a year and you've battled through, but you also know I am worn out, then your expectations of Yourself need to take into consideration you don't have that much fuel left in the tank versus you trying to show up in life in ways that exceed your capacity. So question for reflection. You can answer it in the chat, love to hear it. Or on your own, on your own time. Where do I need to adjust my expectations for myself?

Where do you need to adjust your expectations for yourself? Again, you can keep that personal or you can put your responses in the chat. Second dynamic to managing your mental health, your mental well being is care for yourself. Yes, we also call that self care. But I also know that some people look at self care and they think, oh, we're talking about going to the spa or things that are costly and time sensitive. No, I am talking about everyday things that you can engage in that you know, this makes you feel like you're pouring into yourself.

So what do you need to do to take better or consistent care of yourself? And one way that you can really nail that down is to ask yourself, where have I abandoned caring for myself? Where have I stopped taking adequate time to do the things that make me feel mentally and physically well? Because that's the dynamic of the season is we can get busy and people have all these things and oh, I need to make this. And we have this holiday party and all the different dynamics and so interesting someone put that one of the things that they wanted to experience is time management.

And so maybe balancing your time is one of the ways that you care for yourself. Here's an easy way to do that. Don't say yes immediately. If someone asks you a question to do something, can you attempt to respond in a way that gives you time to think, oh, thank you for asking. Let me look at life and I'll get back to you. That gives you an opportunity to step back, look at your calendar, acknowledge your own capacity, and then decide, can I do this and still experience what I said I wanted to experience for myself?

Can I do this and still experience connection? Can I do this and still feel like I have time for growth? Can I do this and not overthink? Can I do this and be consistent with my healthy eating habits? So you take the request, look at your calendar, your capacity, and ask yourself, if I jump into this, if I put this on my plate, will I still be able to show up in life the way I said I wanted to for the rest of the year? And if the answer is no, then you go back and go, you know what, that isn't going to work out for me this time.

But I am so Grateful that you thought of me. Maybe next year or maybe at the beginning of January, maybe another time. But don't say or give an immediate yes without stepping back to reflect. So number one was set realistic expectations. Number two was be intentional about your self care. Number three, mental health and well being and managing it through this holiday slash season. Stay connected with safe friends and family. What is a safe friend or family? A safe friend or family member is someone that you can be in connection with and still feel good.

Someone that when you're around them it feels like this really great, energetic exchange and it does not drain the daylights out of you. Now let's be honest, we have friends and we have family that are draining and you will need perhaps to spend time with them. Totally fine. But I want you to make sure that if you're spending time with people that drain you, because you kind of have to, that you are also equally intentional about spending time with those safe, calming, joyful connections that you leave them and you go, man, I needed that.

Man, I love being around them. It's calming, it's exciting, it's easy. So balance that out. Number four, manage your stress effectively. Now that's a whole can of worms that could probably be alive of its own. But if you're setting an intention for your time, making realistic expectations, caring for yourself and staying connected to self people, that's going to help you manage your stress. So all of the things that we've talked about up until this one are going to be a part of it if we make it even more familiar.

Managing your stress affect effectively also means what is your body telling you about the level of stress that you're carrying? So a lot of those other pieces are more emotional and cognitive. I want you to look at the managing your stress effectively piece physically as well. Are you sleeping well? How is your digestive health right now? How is your vision? You might think, whoa, that was left field, where'd that come from? But a lot of times when we're overwhelmed and we're doing the most, we have blurred vision, we see light spots or a twitching in the eye which lets you know your nervous system is about to crash.

You might have headaches, shoulder pain, hip pain that doesn't come from other sources, you know. Yes, this is my body telling me it's about time to sit down and rest. So managing your stress effectively in this conversation, I want you to add that physical dynamic of you taking time to sit, to check in and go, how is my body feeling? That is a powerful question to ask Yourself. I am so grateful for the people in my life. I have a friend and they often will ask me two questions. How are you doing mentally?

Which I love. I'm always checking in with other people. It helps to have somebody say that to me. The other question that they will ask me is, how is your body feeling? Get me at my own word. Love it. And it makes me stop and go, oh, okay, what would I say? So let's do that right now. I want you to think about how your body is feeling on a scale of one to 10. One, not so good, 10, amazing. And put in the chat and let me know how would you rate the way your body is feeling based on all the stress that's in your life right now?

And let me check in for a minute and see what I would say. I'm gonna give myself miraculously a nine, and that's pretty high for me. I don't typically stay at a nine because my body holds a lot of my stress. But today is a good day, so I'm gonna take it. Wherever you find yourself, try not to judge it. Right. If you're at a 1, then consider what would help me get to a 2? If you're at a 3, what would help me get to a 4? So we just use that as a landing point to go, how could I improve? Or if I'm at a nine, what did I do to get here and what can I do to stay here?

Okay, number five. Five ways to manage your mental health through a holiday season. Limit social media use except Cadre. Why do I say that? I'll repeat myself? Because this is the one space that's mental health for all, where you get to choose what you consume. So this is one of the safest spaces for you to be in in terms of social media because there is no room and it's not set up for comparison or a highlight reel. You get to come and know you're going to find what you search for and you get to choose what you consume and there won't be anything coming at you unless it's something that you went to go find and that is so powerful for our nervous system.

You want to make sure that you're not spending so much time on social media that it is starting to make you feel bad about yourself, that you are noticing that you're comparing your life to someone else's highlight reel, that you watching other people is creating fear or creating anxiety or making you feel like you need to do more when your actual vision and intention was to do Less so you decide what you need. Okay, I'll repeat those five five ways to manage your mental health through the holiday season.

Number one set realistic expectations. Number two be intentional about your self care. Number three stay connected to safe family and friends. Number four, manage your stress effectively by paying attention to the physical sensations that are letting you know you are not okay. And number five, limit social media use. They're fairly self explanatory. Move them from thought to action in your life as you go throughout the rest of the season. Come back to this. Come back to this and replay it. Come back to your notes around it.

Look at these five and go out of these five today, which one would be a helpful focus? And then you make that a priority and implement things that help support yourself. But what I don't want you to do is I don't want you just to go through each day and let that day overtake you and overwhelm you. And so as we always do, before you move away from this time, I want you to create two circles, either mentally or tangibly on a piece of paper. What's on your plate? Who's on your plate? What fears and anxieties are on your plate?

What responsibilities and stressors are on your plate? What's on your plate that doesn't need to be. And once you write all those things down in that circle, then you go through the process of looking at what do I need to eliminate, what do I need to cross off, what do I need to release? What's beyond my control so it being on my plate is going to make the plate too heavy? And then what's on your plate in terms of how you're nourishing yourself? Based on all these dynamics, what have you noticed you've been eating lately?

What do you notice about your sleep quality? What do you notice about your movement and your ability to approach exercise as something that is helpful to you versus something that's demanding something out of you. And then you take those two and you look at them and you decide what would help bring more harmony here. Where do I need to work? As always, I'm so glad that you chose to come and be a part of this time. I hope that you found something that is helpful and useful to you even if you're watching this on a replay.

Please comment. I do come back periodically throughout the week to make sure that I'm addressing, listening to questions and looking at comments that have been posted after we watch this live. But most importantly, please take care of yourself and I'm so glad that you came have a phenomenal rest of the week.