A Friday check-in that explores grief, loss, and nervous-system responses, with reflections on minimizing experience and the comfort of shared presence, plus a brief music break and invitations to notice what one might be grieving.
Hey there, Cadre. Where are you? I'm not afraid to be alone but being alone is better with you. When I think about the things that we've been through I know just one thing is true. Life isbetter with you Life is better.
Happy Friday. What a week. No matter how you're feeling, know that you're doing it. You're doing this life thing. If you're not good, I want you to know that that's okay.
Marisa: On Fridays, what do we do? We talk about grief and loss. She says our nervous system is relatively binary in how it exists. There are times when we have to fight and other times to rest, she says.
Anila: How often do we minimize our reality? All the time. What do I do when I maybe don't have the thing I realize that other people do? Kelly Grosclogs, wonderful human in the End of Life, Palliative Care Hospice Space, has a new book called When Love Meets Grief. There is profound beauty in the simplicity of life.
Our fears often disrupt our lives, yet when we express them out loud, they can become less intense. This has been a week where I've seen lots of people expressing things out loud. Did it make things better? Sure. But did it remind people that there's a lot that we have to play with here?
Life is better with you, my friends, all of you, all you who are here right now. I'm gonna let the music play a little bit. It'll be enoughness Saturday, as always. See you later.
Hey there, Cadre. Where are you? I'm not afraid to be alone but being alone is better with you Life is better with you oh, oh Life is better with you oh, oh Life is better with you When I think about the things that we've been through I know just one thing is true Life is better with you Some days better than other days Life is better with you Speak Wonder. Chris Fortman, y'all, Visa Bits. Life is better with you Life is better. All right, we'll pause a little Michael Franti there for a moment. Hey, everybody, Happy Friday.
You know, I got the feeling this morning that I would move our Cadre today to Cadre a little bit later in the day. What a week. No matter how you're feeling, no matter how you're doing, know that you're doing it. You're doing this life thing. If you're good, I think that's great. If you're not good, I want you to know that that's okay, too. Marisa, how are you? So on Fridays, what do we do? We talk about grief and loss. And I always try to be the voice who expands the aperture of Cadre. You know, sometimes we think grief and loss is reserved for those people who have had someone close to them die and had someone close to them die recently, right?
Because sooner or later, we're supposed to. Grief is supposed to get easier, right? But we grieve a lot of stuff. We lose a lot of stuff. And when we do those things, we have tons of very human, biological, physiological reactions that move us forward with that stuff. Our nervous system, right, is relatively binary in how it exists. I'm always the person who says nothing is binary, but actually our nervous system is kind of binary, right? We're either. We were either in a rest, digest state. I feel like things are okay and I'm safe and I can go, huh?
Or we're in a fight. Flight, space. Something is off, and we have to protect. We have to maneuver. So with that being said, grief and loss are things that send us back and forth into. Here's the moment when I need to rest. I need to digest what's going on. There are times when we have to fight and we have to flight. So what are you grieving and what are you losing? I would ask that of every single person, every single moment of their whole life. And they may go, I don't really think I'm grieving or losing anything right now.
And I would sit there and they would maybe share something, something that they would be like, well, it's not really a big thing, but how often do we minimize our reality? All the time. So as you expand your aperture today, my invitation is if you're in a place where you go, gosh, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to think, I don't know where to turn. I'm going to be your example today. I don't have anything profound to share with you outside of everything I just said that you may have found to be profound.
And that's wonderful, right? See how I almost minimized myself? No, I didn't. So what do I do when I maybe don't have the thing I realize that other people do? That's why we engage in something like the Cadre sphere. We don't have to be the one with all the answers. I know some of you run huge worlds. You impact lots of people. You literally run organizations. My favorite thing as a coach, consultant, coach and consultant in this world to share with high level leaders is to say the best thing you can say to your followers, to the people who look to you and look up to you, is to say, you know, I don't know.
And then to follow that up with something with action or with delegation. Right? So guess what? I don't know what to share with you today about grief and loss. So there's my I don't know. And now I'm going to point in the direction of someone who I do know who does have something to say about grief and loss today. My friend Kelly Grosclogs, wonderful human in the End of Life, Palliative Care Hospice Space. She released recently, I guess maybe not super recently anymore, maybe a couple months ago.
Her second book, When Love Meets Grief and it's made up of all of these stories it's called. The subtitle is A Grief Therapist's Reflection from the Bedside and Beyond. So it's all of these little passages of bedside moments. And I'll read one to you right now. NPS hey Anila. Happy Friday. Nice to see you. This one is called Lean into the Moments. Kelly writes at the bedside of a remarkable individual. Just hours from leaving this world, she revealed a profound Surrendering is the key to living fully in the present and reducing anxiety about the future.
Despite her imminent death, she found the energy to encourage her family to continue finding joy after she's gone. She doesn't want them to fear happiness or deny themselves joy because she won't be with them. Our fears often disrupt our lives. Yet when we express them out loud, they can become less intense. That was the sentence that spoke to me this week, so I'll read it again. Our fears often disrupt our lives, yet when we express them out loud, they can become less intense. It's also clear that love manifests in countless forms and possesses unparalleled power to provide solace.
Anila, we're talking love. Love has the capacity to heal beyond the reach of any medicine. When individuals are surrounded by it, a comforting circle forms which can diminish their fears. I learned that kindness requires minimal energy, yet its impact reverberates far and wide, creating ripples of positivity throughout the world. There is profound beauty in the simplicity of life. The gentleness of music, the sound of infectious laughter, a tender touch, the affection of an animal, the exchange of a heartfelt I love you.
All of these can beautifully fill our spirit. Halfway amidst life's chaos, things have a tendency to become complicated. However, when forced to pause, we gain a newfound clarity and appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us. Gratitude has the remarkable ability to instill calm and joy, even in life's final hours. Too often I've heard from those on their deathbeds lamenting that they missed the beauty that was right before their eyes. I'm reminded once again to pay attention, to notice the simple yet profound beauty that exists in the present moment.
This extraordinary individual serves as a poignant reminder for us to pause and fully embrace each moment. Through acts of kindness, expressions of love, the release of fear, and the acknowledgement of gratitude, we we can find comfort and peace. Michael Franti wanted to jump in. Not yet, Michael. I'll start that sentence again. Let the love of others be your remedy. Allow it to soothe your soul. To those who grieve, take these words to heart. Our deceased loved ones want us to continue living and to experience the full spectrums of emotions.
Do not forget to embrace joy, for as my patient wisely said, it's okay to be happy. Keep living in my honor. Don't hesitate when joy visits you. I'm going to read my favorite sentence again. Our fears often disrupt our lives, yet when we express them out loud, they can become less intense. I love that sentence because it doesn't say, this is going to happen. It says when we express our fears out loud, something different can happen. This has been a week where I've seen lots of people expressing things out loud.
And did it make things better? Sure. Did it make things go away? H***, no. But did it remind people that there's a lot that we have to play with here. Yeah. So as I let Michael Franti back into the game. Life is better with you, my friends, all of you, all you who are here right now, whether you're listening later. Life is indeed better with you? It's Friday afternoon. I'm gonna let the music play a little bit. I'm not afraid to be alone? But being alone is better with you? Oh, oh. Everybody. Life is better with you?
Oh, oh. Are you singing? Life is better with you? We've been through a lot, y'all. Life is better with you? And then he goes into the bridge. We'll hit it there. I'll see you tomorrow morning, y'all. It'll be enoughness Saturday, as always. See you later. Most of the time.
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