Live with Dr.Charryse 🧠: “7 Overlooked Signs Of Progress”

Cody Sphere. Hello. And oh, happy day. Maybe it's not a happy day for you, but it's another day of life and that is what is most important. It is wonderful to be back in the kaja sphere. Good morning, Audrey. I hope everyone is doing as well as possible. That is always the goal. As you come in, you know what we do. Number one, rate your week. It's midweek. Where are you scale of 1 to 10? 1 being you're off the radar, 10 meaning you are crushing it based on whatever scale you're giving yourself. Of course.

Thank you for the hearts. Always feel free to come in and give some engagement. And then 10, where are you? Hello, Dallas. I know we've got North Carolina in the house because I'm here. I know we've got South Carolina in the house and we'll see who else pops in. It never gets old to me. Is anybody going anywhere fun for the holidays? We'll be here. Hello, Georgia. But it will be super, super exciting because both kids will be home. What's up, 716? Hello, Erie, Pa. Let's see. Good morning, Detroit.

If I could rate my week, I would say, hello, Northern Minnesota. 5 this week, which is great cuz last week was completely different. But I love it, I'm good with it and I do want to try to bump it up a little bit. By the way, if this is your first time Here, welcome. I'm Dr. Charisse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner and author. And come to you twice a week on Cadre so we can get into all things life, health and finding peace and harmony if you're willing to do the work.

Because we all know it doesn't happen itself. Today I want to do a seven at seven. It's been a while. Hello from the atl. A lot of times we are looking for progress. Progress physically, progress spiritually, progress mentally progress financially, all the things. But there are also moments in our life where we overlook that something that we're experiencing is progress because it doesn't feel the way we want it to. Good morning, Philly. So for today, seven at seven. I want to talk about seven overlooked signs that you're making progress, even if it doesn't feel like it.

Number one, you've lost or realigned relationships. Now, a lot of people don't view lost relationships as a sign of progress, but it can absolutely be a sign of progress. Think about it this way. When you're working towards change and growth, when you are just Naturally realigning your life, even if that's from a physical standpoint or a mental standpoint, you then start to realize, hey, there's some mismatched relationships in your life. You might realize, I don't enjoy this person. I thought I did, but the more I really listen to them and get to know them, I don't enjoy them as much.

I see the a lot. When you have connected with somebody over a trauma bond or some level of brokenness. So you and that person became friends around a season that was a really hard time. And it doesn't mean you're using them. It just means that was the connection point. Well, what happens over time is you work through that situation, you grow, you heal. That situation doesn't become the one thing that you always want to harp on. But they're still there, and they're like, wait, whoa. I only liked us together because we would get together and talk about.

About this thing. And I don't want to move beyond this point. And then you're at a place that you're like. But I really. I want to expand what we talk about. I don't want it to always be centered around this certain dynamic. If you ever find that you're in a situation like that, give yourself permission to evolve. Every relationship is not meant to be in your life forever. Some relationships have seasons, and you have the right to decide, this season is over, this season needs to end, or if you keep this person in your life, you want to kind of realign the nature of the relationship and the way you spend time with them, you are making progress.

Anytime you realign people and realign with people who understand not just who you are, but who you're becoming. Number two, you're doubting your next step. We often don't see doubt as a sign of progress, but what doubt can potentially mean is that you genuinely care about the next step. Now, some of you might think, well, Dr. Shareese, I'm just an overthinker. That's a whole different category. Doubt means, oh, I really. I want this. I really think I can do this. But can I? I'm not sure. So you're doubting little parts of yourself as you step into a new realm.

You're like, man, do I really want to put up with this? But I really think I do. I really think it's worth it. And it's a good source of doubt because you're thinking about a decision that is going to move you forward. One of the things that may be helpful if you are doubting yourself is to take a moment, sit down and ask yourself, why am I doubting myself? What do I need to feel more supported in my decision? And I'm a huge proponent of always reminding yourself you're genuinely not stuck. You might make a decision and then get there and go, oof, this was a bad decision.

There might be consequences to that bad decision, but you're not stuck. You can then make another decision that moves you in the direction you want to go. Number three, seven overlooked signs that you're making progress even if it doesn't feel like it. You're slowing down. You are not being super quick to respond. You're not being super quick to tell everybody, yes, you're slowing your pace down and you're really stepping back to determine on a regular basis, is this good for me? Is this what I want?

Does this move me towards what I say I value for myself? You're slowing down to increase your self awareness. You're slowing down to be more reflective before you make decisions. One of the best things that you can do in your whole decision making process is not feel like you have to make a immediate decision and feel pressured. Give yourself permission to go, you know what, thank you for that offer or thank you for that invite. Let me take some time and think about it and check a few things and then I'll get back to you.

If somebody is pressuring you to make a decision immediately, those are not your people. Right. They should be like, great, I can't wait to hear from you because you deserve the time to step back. Number four, you're starting to care more about how you feel then how other people feel about you. So you're moving away from the people pleasing. Good morning, K1906 from the ATL. You're moving away from what people think about you and you're focusing more on what do I feel. Yeah. Going back, Audrey. Yeah.

Number one, accountability partners on a health journey. Yeah. Everybody can't be with you on every leg of the journey. So when you start caring more about how you feel than what other people think, you're going to make decisions that are more authentic to you. And let's be real, making decisions that center yourself and center your needs. Unless you're just naturally like this, it's uncomfortable because there is a part of us that naturally does care to some degree about what other people think.

But you don't want to consider what other people think at the expense of your own growth. So there's a level of growth that is messy and uncomfortable where you have to make some hard decisions to break out of some really difficult cycles based on what you feel because you know that those relationships or those decisions or you being with that organization or that company is no longer what's best for you. But it's going to be worth it in the long run. Number five, you're aware of what's wrong, even if you don't know how to make it right again.

Speak, wonder you're sipping your coffee. I probably need to pull coffee back in just so I slow down and give you guys a break to check in. Being aware of what's wrong in your life is painful. And sometimes we don't know how to make it right again. But the awareness of this is wrong, I did wrong. This doesn't feel right. Is all a huge sign of progress because it's the difference between being numb, it's the difference between having blinders on and refusing to see things for what they are. So number five, you're aware of what's wrong even if you don't know how to make it right again.

That will come. Number six, you're disappointed in yourself, but you're still working to grow and to mature. We're going to be disappointed in ourselves. We're going to have moments where we're going to think, that wasn't my best moment, that wasn't my best choice, that wasn't my best decision. If I could go back and do it again, I would hope that I would do it differently, that I would communicate whatever the case may be. And it's okay to be disappointed in yourself, but don't stay there and beat yourself up.

Try the best you can to learn from it, to recognize. Is this a one time thing that I recognize that I do or am I disappointed Because I realize that this is a pattern that I've had in place for a very long time and I need to try to break it. But that level of painful awareness is also so, so crucial and so important for your growth. And number seven, you're communicating your true and honest thoughts even when it's difficult. It's easy for some people to communicate with truth and honesty no matter what, but it's a continuum.

For others, it's. It's not. Tell me this before we wrap up. Where are you at with your communication skills at the moment? Do you feel like you're in a season where you're like, I'm not communicating, I'm not saying any of the things that I need to be saying. I'm internalizing and I'M recognizing that it is not helpful. Or are you maybe in a season where you're like, I'm starting to notice some shifts in my communication. I'm being more willing in the moment to be honest when someone asks me a question.

And that's something that I wouldn't have done before. Because communication, although it's seven on the list, is a primary sign of emotional growth and maturity. Our ability to have what I sometimes call courageous conversations. Our ability to say and communicate things even when it's difficult and uncomfortable. You. Yeah, a season of painfully honest words like I can resonate with that. And also keep in mind, even when we're honest and someone else may not appreciate or enjoy that honesty, it's helpful because repair, realignment, healing, trust, all those dynamics within ourselves and within other people are very difficult if there are things that are left unsaid.

And if you notice that you are in a season where you're like, I'm just. I'm kind of shutting down and I'm not communicating well, step back and really just consider for yourself. What would help me feel more courageous in my communication? Is it something that I need to journal first? Is it something that I need to say to someone else who isn't a part of the situation just to even get comfortable with voicing it? Are you at a place where you would benefit from some type of coaching or support or whatever it may be?

Communication is one of our greatest tools. But let's also be honest. We are taught nothing about communication, and most of what we learn about communication does come through trial and error, and it comes from the people that are in our lives. Let me go through these seven one more time in case you missed any seven overlooked signs. You're making progress, even if it doesn't feel like it. Number one, you've lost relationships or you're realigning them. Number two, you're doubting your next step.

Number three, you're slowing down. Number four, you're starting to care more about how you feel versus what other people think. Number five, you're aware of what's wrong even if you don't know how to make it right again. Number six, you're disappointed in yourself but still working to grow. And number seven, you are communicating even when Difficult Application piece I want you to look at this list of seven application option Number one, you may decide that there are some other things that you could add.

Here's some other things that I'm seeing in my life that feel messy, but I know that they're a sign of growth just as a way to affirm where you are and how you're working through your life. Application option number two is to really look at these and go, where have I seen these things showing up in my life and beat myself up over them? Maybe I have noticed myself doubting a very important decision and I was beating myself up, but now I want to reframe that and I want to remind myself that I'm really just working to make a great decision that better suits my needs and the doubt is coming in place because I'm not used to centering my needs.

So look through these and then determine where you need to reframe and then of course make your way back here on Friday and join me for if youf Plate Could Talk. And between now and then, please take care of yourself. I'm so glad you chose to show up today and I will see you again very, very soon. Have a good one.