Rachel’s Room🛋️Monthly Check In

Happy Wednesday Cadre crew. Hello. Hello. I hope you're all having a good day. A day. I hope you're moving through it. I don't know. I'm having a weird day. This whole week has been a little weird, emotionally, physically, and here we are. We are still here. So give yourself a pat on the back for being here, making it halfway through the week, one day at a time. So. Hi, Rachel. I cannot believe that we are at a. I mean, I know it's only the 11th of the month, but next, I guess next week we could have done our monthly check in, but I feel like because of Christmas and New Year's, I feel like the end of the year is just going to feel like rapid, fast.

So this to me feels like halfway between now and the really, really fast, really, really fast part of the end of this month. So I feel like this, at least for me, feels like a midway point this month that I can feel like I can check in. So. Hi, Jules, Rachel, you are here. Does that count? Yes, it counts. It counts. Also, I just got this. I don't know if any of you know what depop is, but it's like you can sell and buy used clothing on this app. And so I've been trying to do that instead of buying new clothes.

So, like, I try and sell something and then if I sell something, then I buy something. It's sort of like to try and be like, recycle more. So I just got this and it's a very, very tight, very tight turtleneck. I feel like I'm joking. Anyways, okay, so I've talked about this many times about having these sort of like midpoint check ins as ways to reflect on a certain period of time, check in on how I'm doing in the present moment, and then maybe create some goals or vision or hope for a period of time that's coming.

So I like to do this at like midway points. So like halfway through a month, halfway through the year, halfway through the day, halfway through the week, you know, like, I like halfway points. They feel like intentional moments of pause where I can kind of reflect and go, okay, what's kind of transpired up until this point? How am I feeling today? What do I need to, you know, make the next chunk of time feel supportive? Excuse me. So I'm, you know, like, I'm using this time to kind of reflect on from the beginning of December until now.

Like at the beginning of December, what did I kind of expect was going to happen this month? What did I hope was going to happen this month? What did I want to happen this month? What did I not want? Did I set goals for myself, et cetera, and kind of think back to the beginning of the month and then look at from then until now and go, okay, so what has happened thus far? How am I doing on my goals? How am I doing on my boundaries? How am I doing on making sure I'm resting, whatever it might be, Just kind of checking in with myself on how things are feeling, you know, regarding that moment until now.

And then I do kind of a sort of an assessment of like, okay, for the rest of this month. So, like, maybe for me it's going to be like from now until until Christmas, because I feel like Christmas to New Year's is like a time when I feel like I don't have a lot of control. I feel like there's a lot of things that are happening that are outside of my control. For me, it's also my birthday. My birthday is December 29th. Like, those five last five days of the month, the year feel like they're just its own entity that requires coping.

So from now until Christmas Day, what are my hopes? What are my goals? What are things I want to do for myself? Hi, Luke. And then asking myself, what do I need to do to set myself up for success? What do I need to do to carve out me time? What do I need to do to make sure that I can hold myself accountable when it comes to things like setting boundaries or. Or sticking to a recovery plan, Right? December, especially whether you are sell, whether you celebrate holidays or not, December can be an especially challenging month for us, especially if we're in any kind of recovery or struggle with mental health, because a, it's winter, so we have darker days, colder days, which means we're getting outside less.

We are likely seeing people less because of that. We might be inside, inside more and isolating. There's also a ton of buzz and narrative about food, about body, about parties, about shopping and spending, about expectations as a parent or as a sibling or as a partner. Then there's all these narratives about falling in love or being, you know, or being partnered at the holidays or being single at the holidays. So even if it's not some like, a time of year that you are particularly invested in, the noise is still there.

And it can be. It can. It can seep in without us realizing it. And so it's a time where I really fully believe that we deserve and require extra tenderness, extra support, and to allow ourselves to create that kind of Buffer for ourselves so that we can. So that we can have some tenderness this time of year. So I always like to check in, you know, for like my mid December. And when it comes to the weeks to come, I'm really asking myself, how can I. How can I take care of myself? How can I take care of my recovery?

What do I need to do and who do I need to call on to make sure that I feel supported and have some semblance of structure and tools so that this month doesn't feel too overwhelming while still recognizing that it will be overwhelming. So I think also, you know, releasing some perfectionism around needing to get through this month, like, unscathed, like, that's an unrealistic expectation. Like, it is a. It is a hard month for a lot of folks. It's also a wonderful month. Right. So also allowing ourselves to lean in.

I've talked about this on my lives before, and I was actually talking to my friend about this at dinner last night. This concept that I learned in recovery of willfulness versus willingness. Right. So willfulness, meaning not wanting to engage in something or being resistant to something or stubborn against something for whatever reason and just. And resisting and not wanting to engage, whether it's in an activity or a therapeutic intervention or a conversation, it's a sense of like, no, I don't want to engage.

And willingness is the exact opposite. It's opening yourself up to, I'm going to lean into this. Yeah. And it might be scary and it might be hard, and I'm going to lean into this. I'm going to be open and I'm going to be allowing and willing to see what this might do while acknowledging I don't have to like it. Right. And so I think a lot of times, at least for me also this time of year, I have been quite willful of, like, I don't like the holidays. It's just a crappy time of year. Everyone's buying things they don't need, and people put so much pressure on themselves and da, da, da, da, da.

And I was like, kind of a curmudgeon or a Grinch, like, you know, this time of year. And so this year I'm challenging myself to be willing. And that doesn't mean that I have to fall in love. I don't have to fall in love with the holidays or suddenly become like a big, like, I'm going to decorate my entire apartment kind of a person. And it means that I'm being willing to lean into this time of year and see potentially some of the wonderful things about December. Right. So it's also kind of like trying to invite gratitude or change our perspectives a little bit and see the good instead of seeing the bad.

And this allows us also to operate from a different mindset that we can bring into the next several months to come. I think, you know, oftentimes, you know, confirmation bias is this concept where like, you see what you're looking for. So I don't know if you've ever like, like if you're trying to buy a new, a new car and you start looking up cars that you want and you're like, I think I really want like this Honda Accord. I think I want it in blue. And then suddenly you start seeing them like all over the place.

Like, you just see that car everywhere. So it's, it's sort of this idea of like, once you start like thinking about something more or looking for certain kinds of things, that's what your brain starts to recognize more and more instead of the other stuff. So that if I'm constantly looking for something to go wrong, I'm only going to notice things when they go wrong. But if I'm constantly looking for things to go right, I'm going to start noticing only things that go right. And so this is my long winded way of tying back into one of the things that I'm trying to do to take care of myself in the next couple of weeks.

And this year is, is leaning in being willing and being open to seeing all of the wonderful things that are happening this month. And it could have nothing to do with the holidays, right? It could have nothing to do with that at all. It could have to do with like really enjoying the cold and getting cozy and having like a fireplace. I don't have a fireplace, but like, I'll play a yule log on my TV and drinking hot drinks and eating soup and spending like cozy time with my friends and knitting and doing like, you know, little cozy activities.

And how can I find the fun, the joy and the exuberance in this time of year rather than the things that I, that I don't enjoy? And I think in doing that I maintain a level of openness and gratitude which allows me to stay much more at baseline, especially in my recovery as well, because then I'm also, I'm also entering into stressful experiences or, or events that might be triggering or potentially difficult for me in recovery, looking for the great things, right? So instead of walking into a holiday party and going like, oh my God, this is so awful, look at all this food that I have to try and navigate and on all these people I'm gonna have to talk to, this is terrible.

I might walk into that party and go, oh my gosh, I'm so lucky. Like look at all this gorgeous food that I get to, that I get to try and, and all these people that I get to meet, you know, it just allows me to sort of change my perspective which keeps me present and it keeps me engaged rather than disengaged and avoidant. So that's kind of what I'm doing for my little mid month check in is like a, is I think less reflection and more like how can I set myself up the next couple weeks to be very gentle and tender on myself and recovery oriented.

So Jul says I haven't even started shopping, nor have I decorated, which is so not me. You have time, you have time. Like I, I know people that literally don't decorate until like the day before Christmas and then they just leave it up for like the next couple months like as cuz it's cute, you know. Rachel says you learn to knit in treatment too. No, but actually there was so many crafting activities in treatment, like lots of arts and crafts and drawing and whatnot and I probably could have knitted in my group therapy, I just didn't know how to do it then, so.

Okay my loves, I hope this was helpful and I'm wishing you a lovely rest of your day and week and I will see. See you same time, same place next Wednesday. Goodbye.