Leading With Authenticity

Good morning, Cadre family. Happy Monday. Happy Martin Luther King Day. Hope you are all having a good start to your week. A fresh start. Hello, Jewels. Happy Monday. Hello, Tiffany. Hello, T. Brown. Good morning. Speak Wonder. I'd love to hear from all of you that are dialing in live or if you are calling in on replay. What is one word or phrase about how you feel today? Something that just represents this moment. Don't overthink it, find it, type it, chat it. My word for today is rested. I've been focusing on getting more rest.

Speak Wonder says relieved. It's 10 degrees in eerie. Well, it's like minus 12 in Minneapolis. Jules is calm. Thank you for sharing. So I'm feeling rested today. My. My goal for this month is to give my body some space and grace. Give my mind, give my spirit. Ah. Speak Wonder. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear that your mom is in the hospital, but I am happy to hear that it sounds like she's getting better. So on any given day, starting our days, our days begin with one thing. It may end with something else.

Tonight, we may have a different word, but I always like to check in, check in with myself in the morning to see how I'm feeling in this moment. And it's not about touchy feely. It really is about what. What's happening right now. Oh, thank you for that, Svikundr. It's about checking in to see where we're at. Because if we are starting our day in a space of chaos, right, and we have to work with a team or a group of people, it's important that we know where our journey is starting. Right. Checking in with that.

And today I thought I would talk a little bit about boundaries. And in order for us to have some boundaries, it's important for us to understand where we're at. Right. I know for me, as a leader, I'm not always great at boundaries. And what I mean by that isn't simply like, whether or not I'm going to be friends with my team or people on my team. It's about setting boundaries for our own wellness. Right. So often I'll get up in the morning and, oh, it feels like a vigil. Oh, Your mom is 93. I love that.

Speak Wonder. And I also am just sending you so many heartfelt prayers. I feel like I almost know your mom because you shared so much in your stories, in your journey on caretaking. My mom was 84, so I feel grateful that you have so much time with her. And I'm hopeful She'll get better, and you'll have more time with her. So when we're setting those boundaries and, you know, speak, wonder, even you, as a beautiful caretaker for your mom. Checking in in the morning allows us to see and assess where we're at.

I try to do a check in at night as well to see. See where I am. Get a pulse. Ch. Sometimes I might have a goal for what I'm hoping for, but maybe I get there, maybe I don't. But coming back to boundaries and making sure that we set nice boundaries for us. Yesterday I talked about nourishment. I got cut off a little bit at the end, but at the end, I was talking about making sure that we can set the boundaries to be able to circle back into ourselves. Now, when I say the word boundaries, for anybody that might have a reaction to that, I'd love to know how you feel when you hear the word boundaries.

What does that mean to you? Because it can mean slightly different things for all of us. And I want to make sure we're on the same page, but also that I understand what a boundary means to you. So for me, it's about setting space for me to take what I need to be able to reset. So here's an example. I do a lot of sound baths, and I teach a lot of spin classes. So on any given day, I could be interacting and holding space for either a healing space and a sound bath or a movement space to inspire people to release whatever they're carrying in their backpacks on a spin bike.

And I could have anywhere from 10 to 40 people in one sitting because most of them I do are for groups for speak Wonder. Setting a boundary is. Can be a barrier or fortress or a protective layer of peace. I love that protective layer of peace. And so for me, when I am doing all of these activities to hold space for everybody else, I find a few things have happened over the years. One, if I'm giving out a lot of energy, and this will sound kind of crazy, I am starving, like, legitimately. I could be doing a sun bath for 90 minutes for a group of people, and about halfway through, I literally feel like I could eat anything you put in front of me because we have an energy exchange always.

And if I'm putting out energy, I have to put in energy. When I teach a spin class, it's Shannon says. Oh, Shannon, thank you. A boundary is me showing care to myself. I love that. Thank you for that. That's a beautiful statement. And so it's important that we can identify it, we can name it, because when we can identify and name something, we can do something with it. So for me, after I teach a spin class, sometimes I'll have what's called post spin brain or post workout brain, and I don't have the words or the thoughts to be able to communicate sometimes in a functional sentence.

And so knowing that after sound bass, after spin classes, I need some space and time to do a few things. I need to refuel my body, because whether or not you're working out or releasing energy, right? So I need to fuel my body. If it's a sound bath or a spin class, often I can't talk to anybody for, like, an hour afterwards. So once I leave the studio or once I leave, pack up all of my items from my sunbath and get in my car. Like, I have a good hour that I just need all by myself. And I didn't learn that until I hit some walls.

And I started to understand that if I didn't do that, I didn't have the capacity to take in anyone else's stuff or hear their stories or participate in a conversation that made it feel like I was showing up for them. Because oftentimes we're caregivers, right? And we want to hold space for everybody. We want to be accessible to everybody. But in those moments, I was finding that I was pleaded that I was getting super short and crabby for no good reason. Like, zero good reason. Somebody might be sharing their day or have a problem that they would normally come to me and I would help them solve or resolve, and I couldn't.

I would just get so frustrated. Like, haven't we done this before? Can't you figure this out yet? And it had nothing to do with them or what their ask was. The behavior that was happening was a normal behavior, right? They were coming to me when they needed support, and I never want to turn anybody away from that. Shannon, you feeling this good? I'm glad. If there's anything that you have to offer that you'd like to share with us as well about your experience, feel free to type it in here. I love hearing your stories, too, but it's so important that we can check in with how we feel.

And it sounds so simple, but if I start my day and I don't feel rested, then at least I know I need to do something different. Maybe I need to take a nap. I'm not good at naps, so maybe rest. Or maybe I need to drink some lion's mane. I don't drink coffee. I Don't really do a lot of caffeine drinks. I have a lot of energy naturally. So if I drink caffeine and I come on a call, you'll know. But I do drink matchas things like that, so. So things that can help keep me warm even in the summer. But a simple action like that, going to the refrigerator.

Every time I go to the refrigerator, Major will come to the refrigerator, and he's a golden retriever. And I know that he would like a carrot. I've trained him to eat carrots. It's a wee thing. We've trained him to eat carrots. And every time I open the door, I give him a carrot. But what's funny about that is I literally sometimes just need to eat the. Eat a carrot first. It's. Even if it's 6am, I will eat a carrot. It's a simple tiny act that says I'm going to feel myself first before I feel anyone else.

And that sounds really silly. When I say it out loud, I have to laugh because I visit. I mentally have to think about that and know that I am setting a potential opportunity for me to give too much to everyone else at the start of the day, because I'm not taking a minute, a millisecond to take care of me first. So if we're starting with our. With our bodies, our energy bodies already only a quarter full, and we start giving from that, then our glasses are going to go into a deficit. And replenishing from that deficit can be really hard.

So setting those boundaries and be really intentional with what is that, that. That fortress, that layer of peace that we need to create on any given day. And I find that when I ask myself in the morning, when I wake up, did I get up too soon? Maybe I had to. Did I go to bed early enough? Maybe I wasn't able to. It just gives me the opportunity and the headspace to say, okay, what do I need to do first before I start holding space for everybody else? And that can be as simple as going into my little meditation corner, which is where I am today.

I have a little plant, I've got some little crystals. I have a sound bowl, and I am sitting on some meditation cushions by a window so I can get some bright light. So today I'm starting in my corner. Nobody puts baby in the corner, right? But today I put myself in the corner because I needed just the simple feeling of sitting on my meditation cushion to help me continue that feeling of rest and rejuvenation so that I can carry that into my day as long as possible, because today is the day that I don't have to teach spin classes.

Many of us have the day off from work, but I still have work to do, and I am just allowing myself to gradually move into it because I know that tomorrow my day will start really early, and I'll be putting energy out early. So today is my day to receive. I have a massage booked for tonight. I book them out every six weeks if I can, to just help my body replenish. That's good for my body. I get a little cupping. So it's like the one little thing that I can plan ahead to help my body reset and recharge.

Boundaries can also mean a lot of different things, right? We could have a work boundary. So what is that boundary in our day that says, I'm done today? I shut the laptop off and I take that break. So let's think about boundaries today in a few ways, if you don't mind. A boundary is setting space for yourself to take care of for yourself. And that starts with checking in. It starts with checking in right at the end of the day. And maybe there's one more checkpoint throughout the day that says, am I on track what's happening right now so that we can assess and we can opt out where we need to.

We can lean in where we have the space to. So leading with authenticity isn't always about managing people. It's not always about taking care of everyone else. If we can authentically show up each moment and recognize that each moment we're going to be on a high or a low, exhausted, exhilarated, and anywhere in between, then we can be in that moment exactly who we need to be, and we can share with everybody else in that moment what's going on. So today I can talk to my clients or talk to my team or anyone else in my life and just be like, you know what?

Today I'm feeling rested, so you might experience me a little more slow. And that's a great way to experience me, too. So give yourself permission to have that today and every day, and we'll talk more about boundaries and how we can use them in our work environments and how we can use them in our daily lives to continue to show up as our best selves. So speak wonder. Sending your mom so much love today. And to everyone on the call, listening live or replay, just letting you all know that you're loved.

Sending that all your way today. I'm a little borrowing from Mel Robbins. At the end of all of her podcasts podcast. She tells you that she loves you, so I am borrowing that from her. Thank you, Shannon. And I am telling you that you are loved and I'm proud of you for taking space and time for you today. I'm proud of you for the boundaries that you'll set today. And I'm wishing all of you a warm and beautiful sunny day. And the sun doesn't always have to shine for it to be bright in your heart. Have the best day.