A host explores how helpers can pause and ground themselves before responding, focusing on asking how to help and staying present with people in need rather than reacting from fight-or-flight.
T.T. North: Instead of thinking about the person who needs help, let's think about us as the helper. Often the thing that people need from us is to be present with them. Back to our Central Standard Time tomorrow morning.
Well, hey there, Cadre. How are we doing this morning? Happy Friday. Happy Friday. And sending you some love. I hope that you are doing great. I really, really do. I hope that you are doing great. My friends. My friends. I mean, people that I've met before, like you, Jules, and people that I haven't met before, that's what I like to call strangers. People I haven't met before. Because once we meet, all of a sudden, the relationship changes a little bit. We can support each other in a. In a different way.
Let's think about that. Let's say you're walking down the street and you see someone who, who may need help. You don't know who they are, but you can sense that they need help. Good morning, Kelly. Nice to see you. So you're walking on the street and you see someone who needs help. It's kind of like the Good Samaritan story, right? Well, in that moment, the human reaction is to go, hey, can I help you? Hey, T. North. Nice to see you. And then they may go, yeah, you know what? It'd be great if you X.
Or it'd be nice if you did. Yeah. So situation A, you're walking down the street and you see someone you don't know who needs help, and you ask them if they need help. Okay. Second situation, your best friend or maybe a family member who's going through something big. Maybe they're dealing with a loss or an impending loss, and because you know them, you don't ask the question, hey, do you need help? Hey, how can I help you? You maybe make an assumption as to how you can help or the help that they're going to need.
Or maybe you wait until that big, icky, ugly thing happens and then you jump into helping without asking, do you need help? How can I help? You know, I was listening to our contributor, my fellow contributor, Darnell this morning, who has a pre recorded video on this issue, on this idea, very specifically, that the act of asking, does someone need help? Or how do they need help? How do they want us to help them? Is a really important task. And maybe rather than thinking about the person who needs help, let's think about us as the helper.
If we are helping from a reactive state, like, oh, my gosh, the thing just happened, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? All of a sudden we're, we're. We're in that state of fight flight as opposed to if we go, wow, this person that I care about, this person that I know really needs some help. And we rest and we digest with that, and we stay present with them. Then we ask them the question, hey, can I help you? If so, how can I help you? How can I support you? What can I do to be there for you?
It changes our energy. And so often the thing that people need from us is to be present with them. And if we're in a fight flight state, we're really not there. So my invitation for you today is to consider yourself in those moments of being the helper. What can you do to ground yourself in their stuff alongside them? Or maybe you can't be in their stuff, right? Their stuff is their stuff. But maybe you can camp out alongside their stuff. So they know amidst their pain, their grief, that there are people nearby who are thinking, who are sitting with, who are lighting the lamps for them to see outside of their struggle and pain.
And all of a sudden they can do the things they need to do when they need to do them. Because you're there. I really loved watching Darnell's video. Check out Darnell's stuff. Darnell is a fresh face in the Cadre sphere. And that video touched me this morning. So, Kelly and Jules and Tee North, I hope you have a great day. And Jules, I'm proud of you for taking a day off. I. I've come to know that you giving yourself a break isn't always the easiest thing to do. So bravo, my friend. Everybody, you know, I'll be back tomorrow morning, 8:00am Central Standard Time.
Same for Sunday and Back to our 7:30 kick. Just like this morning when a fresh week starts on Monday, y' all, wherever you are, whatever's going on, have a the best day you can. Knowing that right here is your constant reminder that if you're doing great, that's awesome. If you're not doing great, that is okay too. Have a good one. We'll talk to you later.
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