A livestream explores balance as a moment-by-moment choice, offering tools and three practical tips to help with self-regulation when overwhelm triggers the brain’s alarm. It prompts reflection on what typically throws one off and what to let go to make room for balance.
Kaja Sphere, we're back together. What is up? How are things in your world? This month, the focus within the entire code of Sphere is going to be about balance. Always want to give you opportunities and tools to help you self regulate.
balance is not a fixed destination. It's a moment by moment decision to prioritize what matters most to you. It is not uncommon to feel like balance has escaped you and it doesn't often return quickly. Give yourself grace.
The last thing I want you to consider for yourself is what are the things that typically take you off balance? And this might be a little bit more personal. What typically takes you out of balance?
When we feel overwhelmed, when we are pulled in too many different directions, the amygdala, the brain's alarm system, is always going to dominate. Here are three practical tips that you can use to help shift you into a place where you can embody balance.
So I want to have you reflect on this question. What does balance look like in this chapter of your life and what might you need to let go of in order to make room for it? That's something that you can reflect on now or something you can take time to think about later.
Final reminder, final thoughts. Balance isn't a finish line. It's a fluid rhythm of listening to your life today. Have a wonderful, wonderful day and I will see you on Sunday.
Kaja Sphere, we're back together. It's so good to see you, to be in this space with you. What is up? How are things in your world? And you know, when I ask that question, I really mean it. I felt the need to ask that so recently, so frequently recently. Like, how are you really? Good morning to all of you that are on Beth Schofield, what's up? I haven't said that in a while. Take a moment and let me know a few things. If you know, you know, how's your week? How would you rate your week so far? I feel like it should be Friday.
I will say that where are you in the world right now? Where are you located? Are you somewhere fun? Are you home? And then the last thing that I actually want you to mention, hello South Jersey, hello Statesboro. Is I want you to consider for yourself right now. Hello Northern Minnesota. How are you feeling about the way you're navigating through life right now? And you can decide to pop a little bit of that in the chat or you can decide to just reflect on your own, but how are you feeling about the way that you are moving and navigating through life?
Because it's very easy just to get going and get going and get going and then not really pay attention. Hello, Lisa Newland. Not really pay attention to like, how do I feel? What am I noticing? I was talking on a podcast yesterday about recognizing and taking the time to go, what am I seeing? What am I noticing? What am I experiencing? And how do I see myself responding to all of those things? So just a little nugget for you. Always want to give you opportunities and tools to help you self regulate this morning.
This month, the focus within the entire code of Sphere is going to be about balance. Now I'm not going to promise you that I'm going to talk about that the entire month because we know where my mind goes. But I will at least try to anchor us back to that concept in some form fashion. So I want to kick us off with this thought. Balance is not a fixed destination. Hello, Eerie pa. Hello, Speak Wonder. It's a moment by moment decision to prioritize what matters most to you without losing yourself in the process.
I'm going to say that again. Balanced is not a fixed destination. Many of you heard me talk a lot about harmony versus balance, but it's not a I'm here and now. Everything is right because every day is going to require something different from you. It is a moment by moment decision to prioritize. Right what matters Most to you. Not to other people. Not to the people in your life that have the biggest voice without losing yourself in the process. So by definition that I created, that's what I made up.
If you are in a season or situation where you feel like I'm not able to even prioritize my own needs so that I can be there for the people and for the purpose that I have, then things are likely and potentially out of balance. It's also very possible. I want you to keep in mind, to be in balance in one area of your life and then feel like in other areas of your life, it's completely out of whack. We will balance other people's lives really well. And then internally, we will feel like things are chaotic.
So I want you to consider, if you had to rate your level of balance, this is your own kind of objective thought between 1 and 5, 1 being the lowest, 5 being the best, where would you place yourself? One balance is not there. 5. You feel really great about the way balance is showing up for you. Just give me an indicator of that. As you chime in, I also want you to think about how you can reframe balance. I feel like it's just a very cliche thing and we keep this mentality that balance is something that we have to find versus balance is something that we actually have to practice.
Right? So I want us to just spend a little time today talking about, you know, what it really looks like, why is it so misunderstood, and how you can create space for it. And if you're feeling. Thank you. For those of you that are chiming in, your balance feels very off. It doesn't feel the way you want it to feel, and that it's been off for a while. I also want to remind you that that is okay. It is not uncommon to feel like balance has escaped you and it doesn't often return quickly. It's a process.
It's a practice. So give yourself grace. If you feel like. I just don't feel like it's there now. The last thing I want you to consider for yourself is what are the things that typically take you off balance? And this might be a little bit more personal. So again, I do encourage you, just so that we're in this conversation together, to put it in the chat, but you don't have to. What typically takes you out of balance? You know, if I think about even for myself, I won't say that changes to my routine.
I will say emotional pressure from too many different sources is something that often takes me out of balance, or often takes other people out of balance. But for you in particular, is it your sleep routine? Is it your schedule? Is it a crisis? Is it the way you eat? Is it your routine of movement? Because it can be a lot of different things. All right, let's get into the brain for a moment. Your prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that helps with all of the decision making, is always trying to create order out of chaos.
It's why we spend time kind of getting in our head with the why of things. It's why we spend so much time trying to make things calm for other people. For example, some of you are talking about people in your life that bring you out of balance, and families often a part of that. And they're that for us because we love them and because we care about them. And it's hard to see somebody that you love and care about not be in balance. And so then you go out of balance to try to help them. But the brain, prefrontal cortex, that part of the brain, is always trying to make order out of chaos.
But when we feel overwhelmed, when we are pulled in too many different directions, the amygdala, the brain's alarm system, is always going to dominate. So I want you to take a moment, you do this on your own, and really ask yourself, where am I feeling pulled in too many different directions? Where am I feeling pulled in too many different directions? This is your list. This is your truth. You can write your list and pretend that everything's great, or you can take this as an opportunity to lean in and go.
You know, it would be good to get it on paper and see if I can redirect my energy in some of these spaces. So when the prefrontal cortex, decision making, and the amygdala, fear are at odds with one another, then what happens is it puts you in a situation where there's this internal friction. You want balance, but your nervous system is wired for survival and not serenity, when you think about that. And so when the nervous system is over activated, overwhelmed, and it's wired for survival, you're going to see yourself moving in ways that focus on survival.
And those things don't always bring us balance. And so the myth is that balance is means doing everything well at the same time. And that's not true. It's about doing what matters now and not carrying guilt for what can wait. Many of us acknowledged, myself included, that this is a season where balance is challenging. I mean, you can start the day off feeling great and balanced and not yesterday. I woke up and I said, today is going to be a better day. Today is going to be a better day. Today is going to be a more harmonious day.
Within 30 minutes of me making that statement, there was a moment. And that moment created a fight between me making decisions that honored what I know my heart wants and fear. And it was a tug of war that lasted about half the day. So you're going to have moments that throw you off of that. Now you might be asking, well, Dr. Charisse, what did you do? I didn't do much of anything. I got into the moment, I anchored myself into my day, into my schedule, and I waited for everything that I was feeling.
The over activation, the stimulation, the anxiety. I waited for it to calm down. I'm sharing that because a lot of times when we're feeling out of balance, we go to these extremes to try to regain it. And really it's just small moments where we anchor ourselves and go, what's the next thing that I need to do? What's the next thing that I can do that makes me feel like I have choice, that I know is important to me and that will help me feel some level of harmony and success? And then those things, little by little, take you out of balance and then slowly bring you back down into that window of tolerance, that rich, wonderful space that we need and where we operate our best.
But here are three practical tips that you can use to help shift you into a place where you can embody balance. I often use the word embody because I don't want you to believe that growth, healing, mental well being is solely cognitive, that it means always thinking the right thing or saying the right thing. It is a felt sense. It is this part of you that knows, even when you're activated, that you feel comfortable bringing yourself back down into a more harmonious place so that you can still function, so you can still prioritize all of your needs.
Number one, use seasons, not schedules, thinking. So instead of asking yourself things like, how do I fit it all in today? Ask, I love this question. What season am I in and what does it require? Because certain seasons of growth require different energy than seasons of healing or rest. If you're in a hard season with yourself with an injury, one of you mentioned, with someone that you love as a caregiver in your marriage, with your children, that season requires something very different. And balance is going to look completely different in that season than when all is relatively well and you're doing good and you've got full use of all of your limbs.
Right. So we often are in a different season and we're expecting ourselves to operate like we did in seasons that weren't chaotic. And that's not real. Thank you for the hearts. I resonate with this as well. Second tip. Create boundaries that match your capacity. Your boundaries should reflect your bandwidth, not your ego. I know that stings a little bit because there is this part of us that thinks I'm supposed to be able to do X, Y and Z. Says who? Who decided that? Is that realistic? Are you trying to toughen and push yourself into operating in a way that just isn't possible for you right now?
So say yes to the things that align with your energy and your values, and give yourself permission to pause to cancel or reprioritize when necessary. Confession. I have canceled more things in the last month, four to six weeks, than I feel like I've canceled in the last two years. Why? Because I am in a season that requires me to make adjustments based on my capacity, my energy, and what I value. And in transparency, that has meant disappointing people. It's meant canceling things personally, it's meant canceling things professionally.
And again, I share that because I want you to know we're in this together. I am not sitting and giving you this magical advice that I don't have to incorporate in my own life. But I am also extremely confident that because I canceled those things, I was better able to restore and to find balance and to practice balance. And the people in my life, personally and professionally, that want to stay a part of my life. Right. They will honor that with me. So how people respond to your capacity, your energy and your values also says a lot about are they healthy enough to be in your life when you're going through a difficult season?
Don't apologize for needing to renegotiate your boundaries. So one was use seasons, not schedules, when you're thinking. Two was create boundaries that match your capacity. And three, practice micro moments of regulation. I've talked a lot about micro moments and tried to incorporate those 60 seconds of a slow breath, two minutes of silence, saying to yourself, things like this moment doesn't define me. And reminding yourself that balance is built in brief moments of grounding yourself. Yes, Speak.
Wonder Canceling so hard As a chronic people pleaser. Canceling is hard. I think even as a high achiever, someone who prides yourself on being strong or showing up or being there for people. There's a lot of narratives. Even birth order can impact your role in your family, your role in the community, can impact your willingness to go. Is it okay for me to actually cancel? The answer is yes. Do whatever you need to do to reprioritize. Right? So I want to have you reflect on this question. What does balance look like in this chapter of your life and what might you need to let go of in order to make room for it?
That's something that you can reflect on now or something you can take time to think about later. Remember, it's not something that you find. It is something that you practice. Oh my goodness. People under you are speaking a whole word. It is staying ragged. Complete ego state. Complete ego state. There is no award for is straight, ragged and ego driven. So I love it. All right, let me make sure that I gave you everything that I wanted you to have this morning. Final reminder, final thoughts. Balance isn't a finish line.
It's a fluid rhythm of listening to your life today. Let this be your reminder. You are not behind. You are not failing. You are learning to live aligned, not obligated. Balance is not a performance. It is a practice of grace. As always, I'm so glad you showed up. Listen to this. As much as you need to expand, explore some of the other providers and contributors that are here on Cadre and remember, this is your space. This is our Cadresphere. This is where you're welcome. This is where you're not going to be inundated with messages of comparison and highlight reels.
It's where you get to come, you get to exhale, you get to listen. And then we have an opportunity to pour a little bit in your cup. All right, Have a wonderful, wonderful day and I will see you on Sunday. I promise. I know I said that last Sunday and then I wasn't here because I needed a moment, but I promise I will see you on Sunday. Have a good one.
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