The host shares an honest check-in about a difficult mental-health week, describing a recent panic attack, taking small steps like therapy and movement, and a rain metaphor about letting feelings come and go.
Happy Wednesday Cadre Crew. Having a rough mental health week. Trying to prioritize, doing small things that I can do. Enjoying the sunshine. Here's some joy for you.
Happy Wednesday Cadre Crew coming to you live from outside because it's like 80 degrees in Seattle, so trying to get outside for my mental health. I will be honest, I'm not doing well today. I've had a really bad mental health week. So it has been rough for me to get up the energy to do a lot this week. Yeah, it's just been a bad one. So I don't have, like, a lot of advice today. I think I'm more showing up for accountability and to remind myself that, like, I don't always have to be feeling my best in order to do things that I care about or that I want to, but I'm really struggling with that this week.
I'm really struggling to allow myself to show up in spaces that I normally do to do things that I want to do. You can feeling pretty, pretty low, and I guess I. Maybe I'm just trying to. I don't even know, create some solidarity. If you are. Have been in a space where it was very difficult for you to leave the house or be with friends or go to places you normally go to, because that's kind of where I'm at right now. I am having a hard time. Having a hard time getting up. I'm having a hard time just doing the things that I want to do or love to do.
Yeah, Having a rough mental health week. So I'm taking things really slow, one step at a time, trying to prioritize, doing small things that I can do, checking in with friends, going to therapy outside. Today I moved my body a little bit, but it has been. It's been a rough one. It's been a rough one. And I don't think, like, I had a pretty bad panic attack on Sunday, and I haven't had a panic attack in a really long time. And I'm trying to focus on at least today, now that I'm, like, a few days away from the panic attack.
When I was having it, I was not focusing on days at all. But now I'm trying to focus on the fact that I let myself have a panic attack rather than trying to push it away, which I've done in the past, and after I had it, it was done. And trying to remind myself that feelings come and go like waves. I saw this really beautiful metaphor one time that was like, she walked out to the rain and she said, you know how dumb you look when you walk out in the rain like this? Like, it's still. It's still raining.
Like, you're still getting wet, but you're doing this thinking it's stopping you from. From getting wet. And like, it's not. It's not gonna stop you from getting wet. It's still raining, but all you're doing is this and trying to avoid the thing that's happening. But regardless of what you do, you're gonna get wet. So you might as well let yourself get wet because the rain's gonna stop. It might stop in five minutes, it might stop in an hour, it might stop in a day, but it will end. And I think that was a good reminder for me about, like, avoiding my feelings of like it was is silly for me to try and avoid my feelings because they're still.
The feelings are still there. They're still going to happen. So I can either let the feelings happen and accept that they're there and know that they're going to pass, or I can continue to try and avoid them but still get hit by the feels. So I'm trying to practice that a little bit more. And it is not easy. It is not easy. So also, here's some. Some joy for you. Hang on. Let's see if I can turn this around. Oh, no, I can't. Hang on. That's a. That's a boy in the heat. Enjoying that sunshine, which is what we're gonna try and do.
We are going to try and enjoy the sunshine. I have a pool in my apartment, so I'm gonna lay out by my pool. Even though my body dysmorphia is on high right now, and the last thing I'm gonna do is be in a bathing suit, I'm reminding myself I still deserve to go outside and enjoy the sun. I still deserve to experience the delight of. Of my pool and the vitamin D that is coming down on me. I deserve that and you do too. And like, this morning I woke up and I was like, I don't think I'm gonna be able to leave the house today.
And I just told myself, rach, just take it one step at a time. So it just started with making breakfast, then washing my face, then putting on an outfit to go to the gym. And the whole time I was just like, I don't wanna do it, I don't wanna do it. But I just continued to do one step at a time. And I feel this much better than I did when I woke up. And I know that, like, this is gonna pass and in a week I'm gonna feel regulated again, and it's just gonna take time. I just sometimes get frustrated and have a really, really hard time with the.
The duration of not feeling good, it's really, really difficult. My distress tolerance is not very great, and it's something that I'm working on, but trying to practice that, so.
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