Harbor Pilots

Are live. Good morning. Good late morning. 11:00 clock Eastern Standard Time from the shores of Lake erie and Erie, Pennsylvania. I'm Speakwinder. This is Harbor Pilots Thursday, Caregiver Day, June 12th edition. How did we already arrive? Almost at mid June. It's so great to see you. Thanks for joining. I see some names popping in and if you could give me your location. I love to know where people are chiming in from. Your city, your coffee shop, your point of reference, your home. I love to talk all things Harbors and Harbor Pilots.

It sails in nicely to the picture of caregiving. This morning I found something beautiful on the news feed, the community feed. Cadre contributor Carrie Pickering dropped this lovely, lovely gem. She wrote, I found hiding in plain sight a nugget of wisdom in my morning meditation. My growth has never occurred in times of joy and lightness. It has happened during the dark stillness where I stepped back from everything. Carrie goes on to write, it's happened in the days where I wanted to give up the hours that felt physically excruciating inside my body.

It occurred while my mind was a virtual tornado of devastation and destruction and there was no light in sight. It truly is like weathering a storm. If you can anchor into yourself as you feel it coming or are unconsciously thrust into it and have a horizon line, you will make it to the other side. You will make it to the other side. Once you realize there are such gifts waiting for you on the other side, be proud of that version of you that emerges. You worked so hard for it. She signs it sending you all big love, Carrie.

Thank you, Carrie Pickering of the Cadresphere, as JC likes to say. I'm going to put that in my satchel and keep it. Not only is that a standalone beautiful thought and true meditation which applies to our lives, it also plays nicely into my Cadre talk today. Ah, good morning from Lake Vermilion Tower. Oh, Lake Vermilion Tower, Minnesota. Don't you love the way vermilion feels in your mouth? Vermilion. Say it with me. 1, 2, 3. Vermillion. I heard that. Oh, it sounds beautiful. Hey, I'm seeing some friends in here.

Thank you, all of you, for being my friend and for being here on the Cadre today as we support each other as we strive for balance. Balance for me today means getting out of the apartment and into my back patio. Oh, well. Oh, I apologize. So there's some of that. There's my dog, Gracie. Hey, Grace. And don't mean to make you dizzy here. And I just I love being outdoors whenever possible. Whenever possible. Today in Western pa, Northwest Pennsy. Nice. Pardon me while I get the papers. I just dropped my notes.

All right, so balance. You might notice a. A theme running through some of the talks here. On the contrary, this month, on balance and in sailing, as I love to refer to all things harbor pilots. Balance is critical in sailing. Of course, it affects your safety, your speed, the comfort of your boat. And when a boat is not properly balanced, it can become unstable, makes it difficult to maneuver, and you increase the risk of capsizing or colliding with another vessel. So usually there's three principles to everything.

I'm going to be the Unicorn and name four so four ways to achieve balance in your vessel as you sail through life. Number one is know your vessel. Distribute the weight evenly, adjust the sails, watch your speed. Okay, so the first principle of the four. Know your vessel. That's you. Be aware of your body. Stay aware of your limitations. Certainly be keenly aware of your gifts and your stepping out into the world in your uniqueness. That's a gift and that's something to be aware of. Be aware also of your endpoint, stopping time, your limitations.

It's a way of honoring yourself. So know your vessel. A good example for me, a very recent real life example is when I was driving home from being with my mom, June bug. She's 94 years young and lives in a nursing home about an hour and a half away that renders me weary if I'm not rested. I usually drive by myself. Sometimes I bring a friend. I always bring my dog who's being extremely verbal right now, Gracie. And often because I do drive solo to see her and then drive home. Even with Cadre, even with the radio, even with access to podcasts, even with chewing gum.

All the hacks to stay awake. Blasting the air conditioned. So many different ways to stay awake when you're tired, you still get tired. And I was actually scared last week. Late last week, I was driving home. I had stayed longer than I'd intended and it was getting a little bit dark. Just that dusky right before dark sky, driving along on a familiar road. And I think they call that highway hypnosis when you're so familiar with the route that your mind kind of shifts into autopilot. Be dangerous when you're tired as well.

I actually got to a point where I couldn't remember having passed certain landmarks. It was almost like I was on the cusp of going to sleep at the wheel. That is scary. That is frightening. There's my Red winged blackbird. Did you hear him? Did you know? I gave him a name? I call him Barney. Barney Fife. He's always patrolling the yard. He's reading me my Miranda rights. Hey, Barney, that was a big wake up call to me to stop when I'm tired. Don't push myself and say I can stay a little bit longer, because then I'm putting myself and others at risk when I drive weary.

Just one example of knowing your vessel, knowing your limitations. Honoring that. The second one is distribute the weight evenly. For me, this means delegate, delegate, delegate, delegate. Wherever possible, equip people who are already uniquely gifted. Another example, my mom's lifetime friend, Mary loves cards and card writing and card sending. She's a retired hospice worker. She knows the value of words in one's life on a regular basis. And mom loves mail and getting mail and putting her cards on her bulletin board.

Mary loves sending mail. So there you go. I actually didn't even have to ask Mary to send mom cards. It's just a natural, organic thing between them. But there is a great example of distributing the. The weight, if you will, or the heft of caregiving. Find people who are gifted in certain ways and let them come alongside you. You really don't have to do it all. Distribute the weight, keep the balance. Yeah, Jewel. Zoning out while driving is tremendously scary. So we have, number one, know your vessel.

The second principle is distribute the weight evenly. Three is adjust the sails. This will help you achieve balance. I learned this nautical thing about sea. Sea bearing vessels, ocean bearing lake, and anyone who's on the water, you can trim your sail. You've heard the term trim your sails. It shows up in song lyrics sometimes. I'm doing pretty good for time. Yep. So you can trim your sail to propel your vessel the way you want it to, no matter which way the wind blows. I don't know who said this.

Dolly Parton has been cited for saying this, but so have other famous people. But this quote is, we cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. There's a lot of wisdom there. We can't. We can't orchestrate the wind. Only God can do that. We don't know the way the wind blows, but we can adjust our sails to it. And so I learned this thing about people who sail boats that they actually put visible reference points or markers along the fabric of the sail. That is pretty cool. And they don't just take a great big sharpie and make a mark.

Oh, you could. That might be kind of fun. But they Incorporate that marking into the design on the sail so that they have reference points and they mark where they want the sail to be trimmed so they can propel it real well. So the basic principle of that is, no matter what, if you can let go of the helm and see which direction the boat wants to go, the boat will always tell you what you need to know. I think that's why sailors name the boat a female name and they call her her. It's like she's sailing or she's listing or she's sinking.

I think of the Titanic disaster and all those references to her majesty, her majestic weight in the ocean and her height and her width. So she'll tell you. The boat will tell you what you need to know. By the same token, your vessel will tell you. You know, we're designed in such a way that we feel pain when there's an injury. That's a really good thing. If we didn't feel pain when we fractured a limb or cut ourselves, we wouldn't know we were injured and we couldn't address the problem. So when you feel those nudges, those are warnings from your vessel, from yourself to you, to trim your sail and be able to adjust, pivot, maybe take something off the list, and that's okay.

Thank you, Carrie Pickering, for your beautiful contribution to the community Feed friends. You can go on there and read it again about her nugget of wisdom about growing and when it happens during the storms, I certainly would not want to leave you disappointed. So I've been starting to incorporate a bit of haiku or a poem or some essay like thing into my cadres. Today is no exception. I wrote this pithy little poem that I hope captures the essence of today's talk on finding and maintaining balance.

Mark the mainsail, Mark the jib. Grab your friends, grab your sibs. Know when you have had enough. Winds are strong and seas are rough. Watch your speed, it's not a race. Give your vessel rest and grace. Drop the anchor, Day is done. Count your blessings one by one. Sun will rise on starboard side. Slow your roll and close your eyes. Stay safe in port. Stay aware and ready for blessings while at sea. And honor your vessel. Keep the balance. I so enjoy our times together. And I will see you next week in the harbor.