Live w/ Dr.Charryse 🧠: “Pause on Purpose: How to Restore Your Mind in a Busy Life”

Good morning. Let me tell you, if there was an award for pushing it to the last minute, I won it this morning. I got up and then got into a conversation, talking with a friend. And then I looked up and I was like, you need to get ready and get going. My voice sounds funny. I feel fine. The weather in Charlotte where I am, is wild. Last week it was 106 degrees with the heat index and today it's probably about 60, 65 and raining. So I think my. My voice is like, wait a minute, what do we do? Where do we go?

But I feel great. And I hope you are feeling right. And notice I didn't say I hope you're feeling a certain way. I just hope you're feeling because our feelings are messengers. If this is your first time here, come into the space. Let me know where you are in the world and rate your week. 1. Meaning, given the context of your life, your week has been really difficult. 10. Meaning, given the context of your life, you are showing up in all the ways possible. Hey, Audrey, what are you doing in Baltimore?

That's not your normal hood. And if this is your first time, I'm Dr. Charisse Johnson, a licensed clinical mental health therapist, mindfulness practitioner and author. Hello, Vegas, hello, Minneapolis. And I come into this week, this space twice a week for us to gather together, to share. Hello, Statesboro, to check in, and most of all to be in our body and encourage ourselves. We're in a new month. We're in the month of August. I feel like this year as flowers flying. Hello, Savannah. Does anyone else feel that way?

Hello, Virginia. Yesterday was January 1st and now we're in August. Or. Or is it just me? That being said, this month I really want us to focus on how. Presence, right? You know, savoring where we are in life, what's around us and what we need. Oh, that's fun. I hope you enjoy it. That sounds like an amazing topic. Storytelling is not my strong suit. It's something that I want to get better at. It's not my strong suit. I'll tell you why. One, I'm always caught between. As a therapist, I can only tell so many of my own stories so that people don't sit down.

If they sit down with me, and then it feels a little bit too connected. And then two, I'm very cautious about telling the story of my clients unless they say, please tell that story to somebody else and help them. So I think it puts me in this situation where I need to go find another bank of stories. That's Allowed. But anyway, that is not what you're here for. If you also didn't know I have adhd, which means that at any given point, my mind can go on a tangent, but usually they're good ones. So just be along for the ride, right?

That's. That's all you can do. So let's focus in on every moment that you are in. And what does it look like to maintain a sense of presence in the middle of the rush? All right, opening quote. Life is not waiting for the perfect moment. It's happening in the one you're in. Your pace is not your worth. Please raise your right hand, say, with me, my pace is not my word. And then if that's something that you have struggled with before, hello, Eerie pa. And put that in the comments or give me some heart reactions so that we all are just normalizing that experience.

That's a real reason, right, that I asked you to put things in chat or give a reaction. It's so that you know that you're in a space and you're not alone, and that there are other people who are listening to what I'm saying, and they're like, ooh, that is me. We live in a world that celebrates speed, right? The faster you respond, the more productive you are. The fuller your calendar, the more successful you must be. But here's the truth. Moving faster doesn't always mean moving forward. And that's a big one.

I will tell you this. I was having a conversation with a young adult male, and he was in the process of trying to make some decisions, and he was kind of caught up in the productivity and the pace and the speed. And is it okay? You know, he was asking, is it okay for me to feel good about where my life is if I'm not climbing? And I said, absolutely. Because growth is often made and developed in stillness. It doesn't just come from climbing, from achieving from someone else's standards of success in your life.

I want you to really think about that. How many times in your life did your biggest moments of growth come when you felt like, I just need to stay still for a moment, or you burned yourself out, or you had an injury or something that forced you to slow down? But the goal is not for life to force you to slow down. It's for us to realize these moments that we get to live. They're so precious. Like, have you ever thought about that? If no one has told you that, I want to remind you that you are so loved and valued and every moment that you have and every moment you choose to give to to other people and the people that you love is truly precious.

And we can get so caught up in the future or so focused on the past that we forget to just be in the moment. And when you run through life that way, it can rob you of your joy, it can rob you of your clarity, and it can rob you of your emotional stability. Tell me this before I get into the neuroscience of pace. Do you usually find that you're a person that is in the past, the present, or future, and no, none of you can say all which day? Of course, we know that that's true. But just as a general nature, where are you typically?

Past, present, or future? I am often in the future. Thankfully, the way I'm in the future is not something that causes necessarily anxiety for me, but part of it for me is historical trauma response, is that I am always looking ahead, to stay ahead, but also in an attempt to consider, if I look ahead, how can I ensure that I can preserve my peace, that I can preserve my energy? And it's not a terrible thing. But if being in the past and being in the future is robbing you of the beauty of your present, then we are missing out.

So let's talk a little bit about the neuroscience of pace. And I am going to break this up into several lives just because I don't want to rush through and flood you with content. Key points, right? Your brain is not designed to operate at maximum output all the time. Did you know that? Even though we would like to operate that way, it's not realistic. It's not how we were designed. Chronic rushing activates our sympathetic nervous system. That's not the one that we want to activate. Your sympathetic nervous system is the area of fight or flight.

And chronic rushing keeps your cortisol and your adrenaline levels elevated. Side note, when cortisol and adrenaline levels are elevated, that leads to an inflammatory response in the body. That inflammation is about 60% of preventable diseases. Are you tracking me? Chronic rushing elevates cortisol, keeps your sympathetic nervous system going, keeps your adrenaline going. That's going to keep chronic inflammation present in your body. And if you're not coming in and doing something to interrupt that, it will impact you physically, it will impact you mentally.

And 60% of preventable diseases that we suffer with as humans are a result of chronic inflammation that is then matched with poor lifestyle or genetic factors or not being proactive in our health. So your pace is important and a key part of your health. When you're in that constant state of hyperarousal, this reduces the prefrontal cortex. That means the area of your brain that's responsible for decision making, emotion regulation, and clarity is going to be a little offline. Right. What are you like when you're rushing?

Give me a little insight in the chat. What is your brain like that you're aware? What's your thought pattern like when you're rushing? I can tell you mine, hands down, it's a hot mess. You add a pace that is too quick with neurodivergence, and you have a hot mess. Right? My brain is going a million miles an hour. My words don't finish. I will be saying things and then cut words off to say other things. Or I'll say words that aren't exactly the word that I'm looking for. I. I can become forgetful.

I'll put something down and then not know where I put it down. It's difficult to make decisions, so that lack of clarity isn't there. And then that also creates some anxiety, which is also common and parallel to a lot of neurodivergence. And then trying to get yourself to wind down in the evening and then rest is extremely difficult. Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah. Anger, irritability can absolutely be a big one when you're rushing. That's an interesting dynamic, right, Joycelyn? I'm not in any way, shape, or form denying that you think you do better than what you're rushing.

What you're likely talking about is the adrenaline that's pushing you to activate. So here's something that I want you to consider. And again, I love what you're sharing. It gives me a chance to go into another place. We want to activate internally and in a state of homeostasis. Right. So what that means is, and you don't have to answer this, Joycelyn, but I'm sure there's others that think the same way. Is I always tell people who say, well, I do better when I'm under pressure. Okay, but what happens after you exhaust?

Because we can't run on that push forever. And on the other side of that, then what? Because that tells me more about how sustainable your pace is than anything. A sustainable pace is one that you can keep without pressure or consequence. Right. It is something that, you know, I can sustain this and I can carry this with me wherever I am, so that I'm making sure that my habits stay in place no matter where I am. The other thing that we find is when you're in a state of that hyper Arousal and chronic rushing.

Then over time, you're going to experience decision fatigue. Who's been there? I have reduced memory recall. I talked about that being something that I experience. And then difficulty finding joy in everyday moments. So when our pace is going so fast that our days are running together. Yes, we are getting through everything. Yes, we might be completing those things well, but we may not actually be enjoying them. We might be enjoying the satisfaction of marking off our to do list, but we're not actually enjoying what's in front of us because we're so busy waiting to get into the next thing.

So when you rush, you force your brain into survival mode. You're reacting, you're not truly engaging. Right. I want you to think about that. Those are two different things. In the survival mode, isn't where your deepest connections or your best ideas necessarily come from? Yes. Sometimes we're going a million miles per minute and we're like, oh my gosh, this is a great idea. But then we're exhausted before we can execute it. And then we think, oh, I need a little bit more in order to help me get through.

I do want to go into this. I want to go into how pace impacts your mental health. And then I'll pause this here. One emotional disconnection. You're less likely to register joy, gratitude or beauty in your environment when you're rushing. Tell me, what's the last vacation or trip that you had that you really loved and one that gave you a chance to sit back and go, I love the beach or oh, I love London or oh, I love the Eiffel Tower. Tell me your last moment and then consider the fact that many times when we're sitting in that deep appreciation and joy and awe and wonder, it is when our pace has slowed significantly down.

I don't know about you, but most of us are not going through the day. Oh my. Everyday life is wonderful and joyful and filled with beauty. That is not always something that we say. It can be when we really take the time to think about it, but that's not our normal dynamic. There's also going to be an element of heightened anxiety when your pace is too much. So your body is going to treat that constant rushing as a threat which is going to keep you in a loop of restlessness. Being productive is not the goal for emotional well being.

So if you value that push and that pace because it makes you productive, you're allowed to do that by all means. But over time that is not healthy, that is not sustainable, and that is not the Juiciest for your brain. The other thing that I would say, ooh, Punta Gorda, that sounds beautiful. Is there's an erosion of self awareness. When our pace is too fast, you stop noticing your needs. And that often leads to burnout, unhealthy coping habits, and relationship strain until you hit a wall. And then you put everybody on notice, then you pull back, then you shift your schedule, then you shift your routine.

So rushing, it's not just a schedule issue, it's a self awareness issue. You can't savor what you don't notice, and you cannot notice when you never pause. So here's what I want to leave you with. I want you to consider what we focused on today and just take a moment to take inventory. Right. What are you noticing about the pace that you're in right now? How is it impacting you mentally and emotionally? Are you emotional? Are you irritable? Are you down? Are you anxious? How is it impacting your ability to stay aware of what you need?

Right. That's one end of the spectrum. If you're a person that you say, hey, I'm actually doing pretty well right now. My pace is good. I feel self aware. I don't feel like I'm experiencing decision fatigue. First of all, I'm so happy for you. And I want you to consider, what does it look like to maintain that as we're heading into a new season, as we head into fall and things shift, whether that's responsibilities or seasons or temperatures, I want you to consider what's the most important things that you can do to make sure that you maintain the pace that you're on.

And then join me Sunday and then back next week as we continue this conversation. I hope you have an amazing rest of the week, and it's always good to spend time with you.