Explores why making behavioral and communication changes can feel wrong, explains the brain’s threat center versus prefrontal cortex tug-of-war, and offers practical framing to persist through the emotional and physical discomfort of change.
When you're trying to change and do things different, it's going to feel bad. But just because it feels bad, doesn't mean that it's not the right thing. Most people are thinking about themselves. Eventually you will realize that you feel so much better by honoring this new path that you're on.
Kajra Sphere, it is so good to see you. So I just had a little something that has been on my mind and my heart since earlier. So I was like, you know what? I can get on here and do it live whenever I want to. So that's what I'm gonna do. There are moments, there are seasons where you're gonna be in a place where you're trying to make changes in the way you talk and the way you act and, and how you interact and how you behave, right? And when those moments happen, you may feel so panicked, right.
You may feel like this feels wrong. They're going to be mad at me. You're in your head, your heart is beating a million miles per hour. You're sweating. Anybody feel that before? Like, give me some hearts or say I have. If you've ever been there when you're trying to change and do things different, it's going to feel bad. Hey, Jules. But just because it feels bad, hello, Andrea. Doesn't mean that it's not the right thing. There's a tug of war going on, especially, hello, Dr. Theresa. When it comes to your patterns of attachment.
When you're breaking into a new kind of space and when it is all about you honoring what you need and getting comfortable with putting yourself first or speaking up, it's going to feel awful. You might feel like, I don't know if I can do this. This is too hard, this is too much. And the other people who are involved, they're fine. Here. Here's a couple things I want you to keep in mind. A lot of times when you're worried about changing and you think, well, this person is going to be mad if I do X, Y and Z.
Sometimes they are and that's their problem. But sometimes you're worried about things that aren't even happening yet, right? You think, well, if I do this, they're going to call me, they're going to send me a text, they're going to be this, they're not thinking about you. Here's today's hard truth. Most people are thinking about themselves. They are actually not paying a whole lot of attention to, to other people and what's going on in their lives because they're self consumed. So in the process of healing, of changing, of advocating, of realigning, of valuing yourself, there's going to be some discomfort, there's going to be some emotional discomfort, there's going to be some physical discomfort, there's going to be some grief around the way things are.
Even though you may know those things, those habits aren't ideal, but you have to keep going. I also want to tell you what might be happening in your brain. You have your threat center that is firing off. This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong. Be a people pleaser. Do what that person says, because you know what happens if you don't. And then you have the prefrontal cortex that's like, can we please stop? We can make better choices, we can make better decisions than this. And it feels like this constant tug of war.
But if you're consistent, if you take care of yourself, eventually you will realize that you feel so much better by honoring this new path that you're on. That feels more sustainable, that feels more balanced. So the next time your body is firing off, your mind is going crazy because you know you're doing something new and something different. Don't think that that means abandon ship. Just might mean slow down, check in, and reassure yourself, I'm okay. Things are going to be okay, and their reaction is not your responsibility.
Alright? That's the message of the evening. I hope you have an amazing day and let's stay connected.
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