Assessing What Is Safe For Me

Hello everyone! I hope everyone is enjoying their day so far and really trying to step into the rest of the afternoon in a good light. I know that sometimes that could be challenging, but nonetheless, I hope that wherever you are, and however you're feeling today , that it only gets better from me here. So, hi, Ryder. Hey, speak, Wonder. So, yeah, just welcoming everybody, seeing good day and happiness. Hey, Nikki. Loving all the love and hearts already. I know it's going to be a great day, but it is a wonderful, we get a howdy and a coffee cup.

Yep, it only gets better. That's what I was saying. No matter where you're at, I do hope it gets better. So, that's why I do. I love Friday energy because it just seems like everybody is in a better mood when it was a sales rep. They always used to say to call people on Friday because they're in better mood. So, I think I have taken that to heart. Oh, thank you, Nikki. I actually recently just got my colors done, so my makeup is the red color for once. So, I feel really good. Thank you. I appreciate that .

But boy, do I feel safe? Enough. Sorry about that. But anyways, want to, hey, Mar, Ooh, a walk in from the woods. Yes, speak, Wonder. I hear you. I always feel, I would say like a minimum of 10% better, but usually it's more than that after a nice walk in the woods. It's just like nature. Like this morning I was taking Gracie Lou and we were just, oh, it was so nice. The sun was rising. It was just, ah, it was just great. Thank you, Nikki. Yes, I appreciate it. And Fridays, Fridays are the best.

They call it TGIF for the reason. That's what I'm saying. So, so let's dive into how we can assess what feels safe for us because in my experience it's kind of been tricky. Normally, you know, energy doesn't lie, right? Like, we, yes, a forest bath is the best thing ever. And I will argue that doing a forest bath or walking in nature makes me clearer into understanding and assessing what is safe for me and what isn't. What I mean by that is energy really doesn't lie, right? Have you ever just like walked into a room and you felt like something was just a little off and you're like, oh, I'm going to tip toe back, back out.

Sometimes that's, and even sometimes I'll catch my dogs. Yes, Gracie Lou is my dog. I named her Gracie Lou Free Bridge after this congeniality and she fits that perfectly. So she, right, Gracie Lou? Yeah, she says what's up. Anyways, so yeah, we have a great time going through the woods to kind of clear us out because like, for instance, I'm going to go out tonight and sometimes, you know, you can, maybe if you're not smart, get yourself in risky situations, whether it be socially, whether it be in business, whether it be in relationships.

I know that is a really, relationships is really sticky. It's hard to navigate, especially as a woman. And so I feel for all the , all the ladies out there that have to navigate unsafe situations. Furthermore, energy doesn't lie except when it hits our stuff and we're going through what feels familiar because it feels familiar, it might feel safe, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's safe for us. And I would argue that that was the most, one of the most difficult things to, to realize was that, oh, just because this feels familiar and I think it feels safe doesn 't mean that it actually is safe for me, especially with relationships.

Definitely had to learn not the hard way, but there's overall this gut feeling that is kind of, you know, it can be pretty accurate, right? Like all this and you're like, I just get this weird feeling that I don't want to do business with this person or I don't want to buy something from this person or, or even when you're dating, you're like, I just, I don't want to go out with this person again. It's normal. There are, our body picks up on these things that like science can't measure yet. And listening to that is a fantastic tool.

However, along with that, we have to be curious because again, does this feel safe or does this feel familiar? Those two things are very different stories. And when I really started to, you know, connect safety with being grounded and comfortable, I, no, I should say feeling grounded, but maybe it's not the most comfortable thing. You're still, we have to grow and grow through our comfort zones. And that's not always comfortable, but I can still be grounded in that process. And it's difficult because it's like, I have to constantly affirm to myself, I trust myself, I trust my decision.

I can always pivot if something isn't right. I have support from my family and my friends. If something isn't, something isn't right. And so, yeah, exactly speak wonder, what's familiar is not always safe. And I think for me, assessing what is safe for myself is getting really good and granular about those two differences . Familiarity is not safety and vice versa. And so some steps that I've gone through but haven't actually written them down until today, thanks to cadre. Love this, love this app, love this community.

It really makes me think and feel, I just love it. The first step is, and I feel like it's always the first step for everything is just like pausing. But for real, we have to kind of assess like where are we at? What's going on? Is this like familiarity? Is this tension? Is this a something about me that just keeps reoccurring? Like is it a pattern? I mean, you can get so much inventory by pausing and feeling and noticing like, where am I on this spectrum? So that would be my recommended first step is just to pause, feel and maybe ground just to get a little bit more clear or forest bathe and get even more clear so that when you're listening to the insides, it's like, okay, this is just like a familiar feeling, not a safe feeling or the other way around.

But that way, so that would actually be step two is understanding like, okay, is this familiar? Is this truly my intuition talking? Or is it just like fear masked as intuition? Because that can happen a lot and I will tell you a story about it in a second. But after we distinguish, okay, this is my intuition, I can feel safe. I'm going to go for it. I'm going to do this and commit to this maybe uncomfortable path because I'm trying to grow my expertise or grow my friendship circle or find a partner or whatever it might be or for or grow and go to school for something that I really want to do.

Like, I know that Amara is doing. It's scary and we may not feel safe. So at that point, after we know that we are, you know, following our gut and our feeling and we know it's the right way, then we just have to trust. We have to let it go. We have to kind of recalibrate and just kind of roll with the uncertainty, which is, you know, no one likes uncertainty. It's certainly very comfortable. That's the one certain thing about uncertainty. It's very uncomfortable. But we can cause, feel, is it fear intuition and or if it's fear, then let's just take a step back and maybe we have some inner work to do.

Maybe we have some things we need to talk about or journal or share with our coach or mentor or therapist. But if it is, then you got trust and you got go for it. You got to go all in. You got to just rock and roll. That is usually because you're never going to be upset if you go for it and fail. You'll be more upset if you don't go for it at all. You'll just regret it. And so it's like, you're not required to basic, you're not required to fail forward. But it's probably a good direction rather than seeing where we are and not knowing.

And I'll share a short little story because then I'm getting up here on time. I had a, and this has happened a lot in my life. When I was a big data, I would definitely go home and be like, okay, is this hitting just like a judgment or is this hitting a fear of mine? And then I would just reassess it wasn't even if I liked the person. It was like, do I like me with this person? How do I feel about myself with this person? Not necessarily about the person all the time. And I had to listen all the time.

You know, it's hard pressure. You're trying to find a mate. And so I really came home and I would kind of sit and recap, I would pause and feel and like sit and recalibrate. And I'd be like, is this my intuition or like, is this fear or is this just like, am I just being super judgmental? You know, what's going on with me? And can I judge this person like as is without my biases and everything? Because let's face it, you're in your interview, right? Like, is this an interview or dating? Like, it's a little bit kind of interview-y or even with a new friend.

I've been trying to make some new friends lately and you're processing. It's real. Judgment sounds harsh, so I would maybe switch it to assessing. But nonetheless, after that, after coming home and doing all this work, then I would get really grounded and I would send a message of like, hey, this is great. This was wonderful. I would love to. I'd like to find a mate. Yay. Yes, speak wonder. You can. I believe in you. If you want to go get it, it does, I mean, it took a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of dates and a lot of, a lot of things, especially rejection.

You got to get really used to rejection. But it was good because I could reject, practice rejecting somebody, not rejecting them, but just, you know, like, hey, this, I didn't find, you know, I wish you the best, but it just wasn't a connection for me. Simple as that. And vice versa. Got used to that happening a lot. So know what's safe for you by how you feel and then assessing if it's intuition or fear. That's how I've helped myself find and get good jobs because sometimes I was just like, you know, this company, I don't really like what they're doing.

I get a bad feeling. Like my mental health isn't going to be good here or whatever. And same thing with people. Sometimes friendships, they take a turn. I don't know. There's a lot going on in the world right now. And a million people have different opinions about it. And some people go in really dark places and they need cadre. I could say it like they really could hop on cadre instead. But so people change and we have to constantly assess what's safe for us. It might even be with our own parents.

Am I able to go and hang out and listen to my mom vent to me forever when she could just go to therapy? It's a decision we all have to make, right? In various under various tones. So I hope that when you assess what's safe for you, you take some time to pause and go inward too so that it's expanding your intuition and strengthening that voice. And for my experience, usually ego and fear is really loud. Intuition and soul is very soft and subtle. And sometimes it gets a little uncertain, but the more you can ground and kind of clear and truly feel what your body is trying to tell you because it knows so much.

And yes, we can totally embrace memories while also reaching for the future. And we can love people and have our relationship shift with them all the time. I think it's part of growing and evolving. There's so many people on this planet why just stick to your same 20, you know? We got to keep going. So I agree with that, speak wonder. I wish you luck on the endeavor. I'll close with this that assess what is true for you by being true to yourself, by tuning in, listening, pa using, feeling, strengthening your ability to know if it's fear or intuition and love.

And from there, if you're going for something, I encourage you to just dive right in. Just absolutely nail it, go for it with full confidence and don't look back. Don't look back. Waste of time looking backwards. Let's just, I have just set you trust, you build trust in yourself when you have made the decision that you're going for it. And don't look back. You're not going back there. So anyways, that was a lovely little Friday chat with y' all. Thank you for sharing. Speak wonder, Amar, Nicki, great little crew today.

Love it. But if there's anything, move forward. Heck love the emoji. Yes, Amar, you're on it. Yeah, let 's keep moving forward. Let's move into the rest of our afternoons, feeling good and calm and maybe even take some deep breaths in and settle our bodies into safety, to openness, expansiveness and love. Anything else that you want, you're powerful. You can cultivate it. So thank you so much for your input and sharing. If there's anything else that you're watching this later, please send it in the, in the chat.

Love you all. Appreci ate your time and hopping on here. We'll catch you next Friday. Have a great September.