Cadre Today - Outward Facing Clique

Hey, good morning, cadre. How are we doing on this Tuesday? I hope you're doing good. I really do. I hope you're doing good on every day, but also know that no one is doing good every day, which is why we sometimes pop into the cadre sphere. Sometimes you pop in here because you're not doing good. Sometimes you pop in here because you're doing great. Sometimes you pop in here because you're looking for a moment ago. You always have capacity. You always have something here going for you. I'm glad I'm here.

I'm glad you 're here. I know what I know and I care about you. On Tuesday, I love talking about this idea of the outward facing click and all September long, the over encompassing theme is safety and how do we create safety? How do we offer safety? How do we embrace safety being safe? The outward facing click is very, very central. It's a neighbor to the conversation around safety. Here's what I mean. When you're on the outside, the outside of the conversation, the outside of the outside of the normative, it is really hard to be told, "Hey , you're safe here."

It's really hard to have someone say, "Ah, this space is for everyone. You're safe here." If you're on the outside, when you hear that, you kind of go, "Okay , person who has agency and access and power and privilege and is normal within the group, you telling me to be safe doesn't ring as true as it would if we saw pathways being made for others to feel safe." I want you to consider today, what are the communities that you are in, that you are on the inside of, that you are the normal of, that you are the one who holds power in, you're the one who is already seen and known within that community.

You have a great opportunity to not go and say, "New person, you are safe here. Come on in." But to go, "Hey, new person, do you feel safe here? What do you not know? What do you need? What needs to change in order for you to feel safe here?" If you are the one building that bridge in that pathway, you are creating safety and you are the one creating an outward-facing click. The headline of the outward-facing click is, "The longer you are a part of a community, the less it is about you and the more it is about the people who have yet to be a part of it."

How often do you walk into, I will use like a gym because it is kind of loud in culture. Are you walking into a new gym or maybe you walk into a house of worship or belief? What do they say? "All are welcome here." Then I look around and I go, "Okay, what are they doing to make everybody welcome?" Most of the time, the answer is nothing. They are feeling welcome themselves and they have the desire for everybody else to be welcome, but they aren't going, "You know what? We talk about these things as if everybody knows what these things are."

Does everybody? "Hey, we have these shared practices that we all feel comfortable with. Does that new person feel welcome with it?" This is how we start doing two things, cultivating safety for others and building that outward- facing click. It's a little thought for your day. I hope you have a good one, y'all. If you don't, I will always be that squeaky voice reminding you, you are still incredibly capable even when you feel less than, even when you feel tired, even when you feel broken. You still got something in you.

Conversely, if you go, "I have everything together and everything's going great," that's also a really good time to fail, to quit, to take a break, to rest, to change pathways. There is never a path that everybody should take. You are right here in the cadre sphere, where peers and professionals are knitting together community with resources and conversations to show you that there are so many ways to being well. Dive in. Talk to you tomorrow.