The host explores how childhood exposure to addiction and violence shaped a narrow view of safety and then maps social, emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual safety. They share therapy, community and a bungee-jump metaphor to invite measured emotional risk-taking.
The host welcomes the Kadra community, mentions music and coffee, and gives attendees a couple minutes to join while encouraging chat engagement.
The host explains the focus on safety, mentions recent absence, and begins framing safety as a key topic influenced by their upbringing and experiences.
The speaker describes childhood exposure to addiction and violence, how that shaped their narrow view of safety, and their realization later in life about different safety types.
The host explains exploring social, emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual safety, credits community and faith, and details concrete changes like treatment and therapy that provided physical and mental safety.
The speaker reflects on challenges in healthy communities, resisting comfort zones, and encourages leaning into trusted people who push you to grow, using micro-decisions to evaluate safety.
Using a personal bungee-jumping story, the host compares emotional risk-taking to jumping with a safety rope and challenges viewers to 'jump' when trust and community are present.
Hello, hello Kadra fam. Good morning, good morning. 30. We have air in our lungs, love in our hearts. I got the music going. Today we are coming to you with the sounds of the palms. Beach days. Super chill vibes for this Monday morning as we get going We'll give a couple times a couple of minutes for people to roll in If you're in drop your drop your name in the chat. Good morning. Good morning Seeing some people roll in love it. Love it It's a Monday morning. I got my coffee if you're a coffee drinker cheers to you if you got your coffee at hand Yeah, good morning excited to be here today Last week, I was not on the Monday Motion.
Had some family stuff going on, had to take a little time. Durky, what's up? I see you, man. Good morning, good morning. Got the music going. I'll turn that down so you guys can actually hear me, but good morning. I hope everyone's doing good today. Hope everyone's grateful for something today. Do me a favor, drop in the chat from one to 10 where you at as far as how your morning is going. 10 being like, hey, it was a gift. I'm blessed and highly favored. 10 out of 10. One is like, hey, it's just one of those days.
I like to just gauge them. My day is like that. So at least I identify, I label it. I know where I'm at so I can kind of filter out how I go throughout the day. So just drop a number, one through 10. 10 being the greatest day ever. One being like, it's one of those days, bro. Just gonna jump into it. One of my, air in our lungs, love it, Speak Wonder. We got Speak Wonder is from Pennsylvania. Yeah, there we go. All right, so one of my favorite topics, so I love the talk, there's lots of topics I like, but safety is the theme of the month.
Safety is a big one. And what I'm realizing is there's so many different types of safeties. Me growing up the way I did, I didn't know the different levels of safety. There we go. Rookie mistake right there. Anyways, safety is huge for me. Now, back in the day when I was growing up and surrounded by addiction and abuse, domestic violence, all these unhealthy things, people that have had undiagnosed mental health disorders and just living in a lot of different ways that just weren't conducive to a healthy lifestyle, right?
When I thought of safety, I thought of just like not going to jail or not getting physically hurt. That was the only forms of safety, maybe are getting my feelings hurt. But like I didn't know what the different levels or the different types of safety were until I was into my 20s or early teenage years. Once I started digging into safety, then I figured out the different types of safety as far as social, emotional, mental, psychological safety, spiritual safety, all these different lanes where I'm like, okay, we got a lot of stuff to dig into, right?
But I like digging into the unknowing because the more I know about something that I didn't, that's specifically in mental health, for me, that's a new unlock. It's like, okay, if there's something I didn't know about, now I'm gonna learn about it so I know how to protect myself. I know how to be more knowledgeable and I'm just overall informative about what's going on in my head, in my life and people around me. so I can be there for myself and then I can be there for other people, in that order by the way.
Gotta be there for yourself before you be there for anybody else. But then once I got to this point where I started thinking about, especially last night, is the difference between real safety and like a false sense of safety. Because a lot of times in my life I was chasing a false sense of safety where I was chasing things that were actually hurting me and calling them safe. And it turns out that wasn't the right thing to do. So like if I'm being real, like a lot of the things that I was chasing was an escape, was a numbness.
Speak wonders at eight plus today. That's a good morning. That's a really good morning. I'm at about a seven right now when this coffee kicks in. I'll be right there with you at about eight and a half. As a matter of fact, cheers to you guys if you're coffee drinkers. So The false sense of safety. I used to chase a false sense. We got a 7 in the chat. Love that. Good days all around. You guys just brought my 7 to about an 8 just off your guys' good days. See how that works? Chasing that false sense of safety.
I did it through addiction, right? And for me, The drugs, when I was stuck in my addiction, it made me feel numb, right? And that's when I felt numb, I didn't feel all these pains, this rejection, this abandonment, all the things that caused me to use. When I used the drugs, I went numb and I called that safety. So I started chasing that and that life came with the street life and the chaos of it. And that all seemed familiar because of what I grew up with. And that eventually even led to like incarceration and treatment stays and all these things.
But Growing up, those were things, and I know everyone in this chat hasn't dealt with all those things, but those are just outlets and the consequences for me dealing with my meat, or I guess you could say not dealing with my mental health issues, right? That's where it led to. But I would chase all these things and it was comfortable. It was familiar to me. I knew them growing up and stepping outside of my comfort zone, that was hard. That's where I was like, I'm not safe out there. If I go surround myself with people that are thinking different, talking different, looking different, that's a no-go.
That doesn't feel safe. Now, I didn't think that in my head, but subconsciously, that was there. when I was in my familiarity, the familiar zones, like I thought I was safe when I was high, when I was doing drugs, when I was numb, when I wasn't feeling, I'm like, oh, this is a safe space. Like, and I chose to protect that and like isolated myself. And but like, at the end of the day, that wasn't safety, that was survival. It was survival disguised in comfort. And now like, when I think about it, I'm like, okay, we have to readjust some things, right?
And I didn't get a chance to do that. So I started looking into my coping skills and realized, okay, now that I know that my idea of safety was a false sense of safety, what's real safety? What does that look like? What tools? What is it? So I looked into that and thanks to community, I shifted all my forms of safety. Faith was a big one for me, discipline, community. The psychological safety for me, there was different levels. Like if I wasn't physically safe, it was hard for me to become mentally safe.
And if I wasn't mentally safe, it was hard for me to become emotionally safe. And if I wasn't emotionally safe, it was hard for me to become spiritually safe. So there's these levels that I had to go through. And for me, I'm a graduate of Minnesota Adult and Teen Challenge. Shout out Minnesota Adult and Teen Challenge. They provided a physical safety for me, right? So I got into a safe space. I didn't have a phone. I didn't have constant communication with all the unhealthy people in my life. And I had that baseline.
It's like, okay, you have a roof over your head. You're physically safe now. You have food in your body. You're working out. And I'm like, okay, now I can open the door to something further. And then that became the mental safety. That's when I started seeing a therapist. I'm like, okay, now I'm starting to build here. And I'm starting to see a theme. It's like, okay, well, what's next after that mental? Well, now let's work on the emotional. How are you doing And I started and so forth all the way to spiritual safety, right?
So I had to open up these different lanes and once I found out what they were, how they made me feel, my identity in them, now I had to fight to protect that safety. Just a quick tap in with you guys quick. What are some things that you guys consider up to you, either real safety or false safety. What are some things that come to mind when you hear that? I love the engagement. I love to get the gears turning. So just drop something in the chat, either something that you've used or that you're trying to learn how to use or something to consider as safety.
But once I started identifying mine and what safety looked like for me, I fought really hard to protect it. I was like, okay. No more just using unhealthy coping mechanism. No more substances. No more distractions. I'm not going to isolate myself because when I isolate myself, it is a lot harder to do things, to get things done. I need community. For me, community is really big. It still is. I need real spaces where I can sit and I can breathe. I can exhale and like my, you know, I don't feel like there's a threat constantly.
And I found that in community for me, what worked for me, the church. I am a believer, I go to church, I pray, I read scripture, I give back, but I did it in that space because that's where I found safety. And I liked being around a community of people that they didn't judge me, they weren't trying to hurt me, they weren't trying to steal from me, and they were trying to push me. Now sometimes I had to cross that line or I came to that intersection when I was challenged. Because when I was challenged on something, even still to this day, there's still a little bit of pushback, I'm not gonna lie.
When I was challenged on something, that red flag goes off. We're like, oh, is this not safe? Is it safe? But then I analyze the people around. I'm like, wait, I'm in a healthy community. I'm around healthy people that care about me, that are pushing me. And if they're asking me these questions or motivating me to do something, You know, my old self might have ran from this, might have considered it dangerous or unhealthy, but I'm in a safe space and I have to push myself outside of that comfort zone in order to level up and get to that next level.
So those micro sessions in my head, it's like, okay, I have to stop and think like, this is different. I have to push myself. I have to allow these people to push me and I have to step outside of my comfort zone. This is the new safety. This makes me think, I shared something on my social media. I'm going to Oregon on Wednesday and I'm going bungee jumping again. I went bungee jumping two years ago and to some people that might not seem safe. Like literally I strapped on a rope to my chest and I wasn't tough enough to jump, right?
I was hesitant to jump. I don't like using the word scare or anything. And I had the guy that was running it, I had him kick me off like Sparta kicked me. If you ever seen the movie 300, I was like, will you just Sparta kicked me off? Like this will look really cool and like low key kind of, not scared, I'm hesitant. I was scared, I was scared. But I had him do that and he kicked me off and this is off a bridge in the middle of an organ, like in a canyon. And I just free fell for a long time and bounced right back up and came back up and like, that makes me feel like at certain times when you open up emotionally and mentally and spiritually to people, it feels like you're getting kicked off a bridge.
In a sense, you're scared. You don't know how it's going to play out. You know you kind of trust these people or this rope that's supposed to hold you. But you look down and you see all, if you're looking down off the bridge, you see all of these past hurts, these past rejections where people judged you, where people criticized you, where they hurt you. And you see those down there, but you know you have this community, these coping skills and this rope that's going to hold on and save you. And sometimes It's hard to jump.
And sometimes a community is there to maybe not kick you off, but maybe they're there to push you. Maybe they're there to push you. And I challenge you when you come across moments where you feel like someone's challenging you or they're pushing you or they're motivating you to do something outside your comfort zone, take that second and exhale, acknowledge, yeah, acknowledge your past hurts, your insecurities, things that are there, but also hyper analyze the situation. Is this person or these people, are they healthy?
Are they a part of a good community? Do I trust them? Do I trust them to push me in the right direction? And if that's the case, jump. Jump. I challenge you, jump. If it's in the right situation, just jump. It will be okay. And that's something that I've had to learn how to jump. So sometimes you might need a kick. I'm not going to lie. That's why you have to open up to friends and people in your circle that aren't scared to kick you. The guy that kicked me off the bridge, literally, he was a little bit too happy to kick me.
I was like, you were looking forward to this. But I just wanted to start this theme of safety. Hope you guys took something from it. So a lot of people have seen some eights, some sevens. Drop something in the chat. What's one thing you're looking grateful for this week? Today? What's one thing you're looking grateful for? I challenge you drop in the chat if you're comfortable. If you're driving and listening to this, please don't. I value life and safety. The theme is literally safety. Please don't text and drive.
You can send it to me later. But other than that, let's check our safety nets. Let's identify our safety community. Jumping off a bridge ain't easy to go back to that analogy. I'm not saying jump off a bridge unless you have a safety rope and licensed people doing it. Let's, we're just gonna throw that out there, but learning into.
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