Recovery Month Monday

all right hello everybody on cadre community this is Monday which means it's recovery month Monday and just you know a little extra live stream that I want to do just to to celebrate recovery and I'm even thinking that for the next two I might invite somebody to be with me for it I'll have to see if I can work that out but I was thinking of something in light of what's happening in our world today you know in 12-step recovery we talk a lot about love and tolerance we talk we talk I mean it's it's very I mean it is a very moralistic you know sort of culture in the sense that like there's these principles that we really try to live by and we learn are like valuable but we like we also learn like they're really really important to our sobriety that if somehow if we don't incorporate some of these values that it could really compromise our sobriety so I was thinking about that as relates to like politics and in our current situation like I I have a sponsor who is going to the Charlie Kirk funeral and I don't I mean look I absolutely don't wish for anybody to be killed ever and that's where it ends for me with Charlie Kirk in the sense that like I don't I don't align with what he said or his values and all of that but this sponsor sponsor of mine it he does align with him and and he wants to go to the funeral and he wants to be with him and like what I love about recovery is that like we work hard to love each other despite our differences like our society is coming apart at the seams based on an us-in-them mentality that you cannot love somebody who thinks differently that you cannot get along with somebody who thinks differently that you deserve to mistreat mishandle to be violent toward somebody who thinks differently than you and sees the world differently than you and this bullying mentality and this all of that and it's like I don't have that in me anymore because of recovery and that is you know what I really wanted to focus on because I think it's I think it's really important I think we're really losing that in our society so I did have to keep my mouth shut practice restraint of pen and tongue with this guy because I wanted to challenge him but that's not my place that's not my role the only thing he was looking for support with was and how he handled it with his fiance his decision in wanting to go so is it my job to question him and things that Charlie Kirk has said in the past and that I don't care for and that I think are you know not something that aligned with me no and I've got several Republican sponsors and we don't really talk about it and when we veered into it you know we've been able to have like friendly disagreements because the relationship is based on on love and it's and it's like I don't know we're losing that in our society very very quickly and I don't think the 12 step culture community is gonna save the world per se but I but I will say that that is absolutely I think part of the solution for our world because in the 12-step culture it's so much about personal responsibility and it's also so much about personal awareness and consciousness so before I spout off about you know towards somebody and yell at them in vitriol and anger and criticism and ridicule I take a deep breath and I'm like okay what's going on with me that I want to respond to this person in this way and that's that's not what's happening what's happening now is I react I react at a person thinking I know them and it's not it's not the it's actually not my truth but then I can get support from other people in acting that way whereas in the 12-step culture you don't get support for acting that way you would get challenged for acting that way I know that there are people I go to go to meetings with who we don't know anything about each other's political backgrounds and we don't bring it into the meetings you know and that I think has has real real value and when we could even go beyond that and just share with each other and be open with each other and talk to each other I mean both sides are extreme and both sides are out of control and both sides are irrational and both sides can rationalize violence and both sides think they're right and both sides think they have the truth and that's always the danger you know so long and I've been there I've been that guy in early recovery you know I mean and so I know what it's like to have such a I believe such an insecure hold on what's true and true for me it's not grounded and integrated that I react to anything because I always just I felt threatened I felt threatened by what other people had to say and now it's much more mature grounded integrated and a lot of that has to do with recovery a lot of that has to do with the gift of recovery so you know there was a guy named Robin room who studied the 12 steps and he looked at the 12 steps as being tools for social change and I did some research on that in my master's when I was doing my master's degree read about him I wrote a couple papers based on his work and and I did see like how there is space for that just simply because of the ritual because of the respect because of this concept of principles before personalities all these elements that make up the culture that keep you from it basically protect the group from the individual and then even protect the overall from the group because of these structures so I don't know I mean that that's kind of what I'm thinking about as I reflect on recovery I didn't want to do some usual kind of like I'm in recovery life is great which is true I mean I am in recovery life is great but I wanted it to be a little more thoughtful about like how does my recovery affect how I show up today and what does that mean are there political and social implications for that and they're 100 100 percent are right 100 percent are implications for how I show up because I am constantly told about love and tolerance and to practice the pause before reacting and to think about what somebody else is going through and you know is that going to save the world I don't know it's gonna save my life and it's certainly going to impact what I do to help save the world save the world whatever the hell that means it's not the world that needs saving it's all of us we'll be long gone from the world well the world is just fine without us so I don't know what was my thoughts I speak wonder hi everybody else and thank you for listening to my thoughts about recovery I absolutely love being in recovery I think the last day that I do yeah the last day that I do this will actually be the 30th anniversary of my father's death from alcoholism so that's very powerful and special for me and so I'm not sure exactly you know what I'll talk about that day but you know recovery has been transformative for me you know transforming tragedy into triumph over and over and over again and I do believe there could be some secrets some solution that we have in the 12-step culture for our society as a whole so all right peace happy Monday everybody have a really really wonderful week thanks for tuning in and take care