Wednesday Wisdom: Ugh, How Do I Work With That Person?!

Good morning, everybody. It's Luke Wentlint here. JC, thanks for starting off the day for us. This is exactly what I needed for sure. I got a great night's sleep, ready to rock and have a wonderful rest of the week ahead. Always like a good Wednesday. Wednesday is kind of like that reset day. Feels good, had some awesome early morning text messages already from some individuals I've worked with in the past 10, 15 years. I just love you guys. But I want to share a Wednesday wisdom with you all. Here's a Wednesday wisdom is, oh my gosh, how do I work with that person?

How do I work with that person? And so we have a saying at our house and we always talk about it. My wife and I with the kids, what you focus on increases, okay? So bear with me for one minute. Good morning, Jules. Bear with me for a minute. So let's say for instance, you 're working with an individual and you're in meetings or you're on Zooms or you're on, you know, different projects or whatever that looks like. And if you think about the one thing that is nail on a chalkboard for you with an individual, your mind is just going to keep going there over and over again, right?

It's basically like what you focus on increases like, oh, just how he or she thinks they're always right or they're going to fight about something or there's there 's something there that they're going to ultimately, you know, think that they're more informed on and they just they just rub you the wrong way. Here's two suggestions that I have. Number one, how about changing that mindset to think about the three things that that person does really well. This is what my wife and I always talk about with our kids.

I've done this at work for years. Like if you focus on the two or three things that are nails on a chalkboard to you, your mind will go there over and over and over again. But then what about, gosh, you know, she's she's really, really he or she is really organized. Oh, gosh, you know, he or he or she like they can speak up and they speak up and they speak their mind and it's really direct. Oh, wow, you know, they are they're true collaborators, even though sometimes like, you know, they always want to be right or you know that you know that that you know that individual just kind of sits there silent in the meetings for a while and doesn't say anything.

And then all of a sudden they pipe up later. Well, maybe they're listening and maybe they're listening until they feel like they're informed enough to be able to share. So what I'm trying to tell you all is this number one, start out always start out always by remembering that what you focus on increases with the individual. So if you start to think that ABC about the person and every time you're around them and the emails that you get and the text messages you have and the calls that you take are always that tone in your brain.

There's probably not going to be a lot of love loss there. But what about if you switch that? What if you switch that mindset to say, gosh, following up again, this is great. Following up again on this, making over communicating. This is beautiful, making sure it's right. Right. So every one of us has strengths and weaknesses. No doubt about it. Every one of us has strengths and weaknesses . Sometimes though, if your only mindset is to think about the weaknesses of other individuals and not their positives, you really got to check yourself.

You really have to check yourself test like, why am I doing that? Why am I going to that place? And why is that particular individual burdensome for you? Is it you don't have a friendship? Is it ego? Is it confidence? Is it something that they do? Did they break trust? Was there a communication gap? Whatever it is. But I encourage you to start thinking about that. And here's number two. Here's number two and it's a big one. Everybody always says like, you know, we're going to have courageous conversations.

You know, we're going to do, we're going to do the hard stuff. We're going to, we're going to talk about these things. We're going to share. And then guess what ends up happening ? People get stuck there. People get stuck in those moments where they, they try to go forward with the courageous conversation. They try to go forward with being vulnerable. They try to go some place. And then they're stuck in that moment. And they can't get out. Ooh, I love this. Readner says our energy follows our focus.

I love that. That is absolutely right on the money. Thank you for sharing. That is right on. So again, I just want to reiterate like, you know, we live in this world of like, let's go be vulnerable. Let's be authentic. Let's, let's share with each other. Let's, let's be open. And then we do. And then we have those feedback moments. And then we have those moments where we are courageous. And then it stops there. How do we move past that? How do we move past the moment that we've had that courageous conversation?

We shared how we both felt. We had conflict. We had TIFF. And then all of a sudden it's like, but one person is unwilling to move on. Or maybe both people are unwilling to move on. And I, and I think the most important part of that conversation is, are you willing to have a second one? Are you willing to have a second conversation after you hit that first one ? So again, I want to share with you all. Have you ever had that person that was really hard to work with? Remember what you focus on increases.

If you think about the bad stuff, the bad stuff will keep coming back. If you start thinking about the one or two, three qualities that are really great that they bring to the table, that will populate in your brain just as much. Number one, okay? Number two, number two, are you willing to have that conversation? And are you willing to get past it? Are you willing to have the conversation? Are you willing to get past it with XYZ employee, friend, teammate, whatever that might be, to be able to say, I'm ready, willing , and able to do this, right?

So I'll give you an example. There was a couple that I knew about eight, 10 years ago, somewhere on that ballpark. They met and they told me the story and they were meeting with the therapist. And the therapist said, I will not work with you all if divorce is on the table. I won't work with you if divorce is on the table. So what she was saying is you both have to come to a level that you want this conclusion to work, that you want marriage to work, you want to choose each other. It's the same thing for teammates at work, not saying you're married to them, but do you choose to move past it with each other?

Do you choose to move forward? Do you choose to have the opportunity to say, I don't want to be stuck in this rut. I don't want to be stuck in this rut of life that is borderline negative and borderline not bringing any joy or positivity to the group or to the world. So again, I encourage you. Oh, I love this dream big 30 says sometimes our fear of their strengths over shadows, our own personal strengths. Interesting. I like it. Good morning, Nikki. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. So again, I highly encourage you to all think about this in life and watch this one back and think about these moments and think about these opportunities for individuals that you work with and think about how you can move forward and what is the best path for you.

And there may not be one if you're going to be stuck in a rut, right? So, you know, one of the things that I always say about therapy is if you're going to therapy, if you're going to coaching, and the only thing that you're going to bring is a negative mindset and not moving past anything, I highly encourage you to ask yourself, like, why am I paying for this? Like you're paying somebody to vent to if you're moving to coaching and you're moving to therapy, your goal is to move past things, whether that is PTSD, whether that's trauma, whether that is depression, anxiety, you name it, it's to move forward and move past things.

It doesn't mean that those things go away in your life means that you find ways to move forward. Can you move forward? It's a great question for both parties, right? So, those are some things that I just encourage you all to take with you on this Wednesday wisdom. So, some things I always do, I do tales for leadership, I do Monday motivation, and sometimes I do Wednesday wisdom. So, those are my three that I like to show up. Again, my name is Luke Wentland. I 've been with cadre since day one. I encourage you all to watch this one back.

And just again, remember, what you focus on increases, and are you willing to have the second conversation? Are you willing to move forward? So, think about those things with individuals that maybe struggle with that worker otherwise. So, take care, you guys. Have a wonderful day. Enjoy it. It's going to be a good rest of the week. Bring positivity, joy, and positive energy into this world. We all need it. Take care. Bye-bye.