I Can’t Have Fun When The Budget Is Tight!

Hey, Cadre family doctor Kerry here, your resident trauma and relationship life coach and director of coaching at Cadre. Today I'm going to talk about a topic that I have yet to talk about on this platform, and I definitely do not consider myself an expert in this. We actually have coaches on Cadre designated for this specific topic, but I have a lot of experience in it, so I am happy to share with you. Forgive my dog for barking. She goes nuts when there's somebody outside. So don't worry about that.

We're going to keep going here. But anyways, the topic is finances and we have some incredible financial coaches on Cadre that really know this stuff inside and out. But recently I've had the opportunity to grow in this area in a totally new way, like transformation. So I just want to share with you what I've learned and just how, how you can have some breakthrough in the area of finances and budgeting. Hi, Dan. Thanks for joining today. Glad to see another Cadre coach on the team here streaming live with me.

So I am going to talk about, let's first talk about poverty mindset because that's where the root of this comes from. And then we're just going to talk into, like, how you can have fun when you're on a budget. So poverty mindset, what does that mean? A poverty mindset is actually something that's probably instilled in you as a child. And it's kind of like how you think about money, how you think about finances. And a poverty mindset is really a mindset of where I will never have enough. Regardless of how much I have, I will never have enough.

And I can tell you right now that there are people that have millions of dollars that still think I will never have enough because they have a poverty mindset. And so I want you, first thing, the first exercise I'm going to invite you to try is to write down and start to kind of journal about your relationship with money. Where does it come from? How do you think about money? Do you have that thought that I'm never going to have enough? And where does that come from? Because it likely was instilled in you from some values, from maybe your parents or other adults when you were growing up, maybe you didn't have enough growing up and that's where it came from.

So just start to kind of journal and reflect on that. You will be amazed as to the stuff that comes out when you start thinking about what is my relationship with money? Do I hate money? Do I love money? Do I feel like I never have enough. Do I feel like it's a means to an end? Do I feel like I need to work to earn my money? There's so many different mindsets you can go down when it comes to money. And so I want you to just start exploring that, because I really learned that I had a poverty mindset.

I grew up with two parents that worked in the financial industry. We were very well off. We had plenty of money, upper middle class. Yet I felt like we were poor all the time because that was the value that was instilled in me at a young age. And no fault to my parents whatsoever, they actually instilled some incredible values in me as a kid. I had a savings account at the age of two. I knew how to save. I knew how to save up for purchases. I knew how to budget. Like, they taught me some really valuable lessons.

But there was this thought process that I will never have enough, and we will never have enough no matter how many millions we have. So I just really started to realize my relationship with money was so jaded because of that upbringing. So I want you to first do that exercise, and then we're going to talk about budgeting. And the topic of this video is how to have fun on a budget. Because what happens to us in life, and this is just a normal evolution of being an adult, you get a job, you start to earn some income, you start to live within your means.

Hopefully. If not, you probably are struggling with something else that we'll talk about in other videos. But one of the things to consider is once you then continue to increase your income, you probably increase your spending because you're still living within your means. And this is how I used to live. I still put money aside in savings every month. I still budgeted, but I would increase my spending based on my income. And so when you lose that income, people become devastated because they don't really know how to live with less income anymore.

And I went through this almost a year ago when I quit my job making six figures, living in San Diego, of all places, where gas prices are like $7 a gallon right now, and figured out, oh, my gosh, I need to, like, come up with a serious, significant budget right now because I've been living within my means, making six figures. But now that I quit my job to go all in for Cadre and, you know, be an entrepreneur, I need to adjust my spending and I need to adjust my savings. And so what does that look like?

So the next thing I want you to do as an exercise is to write down, what do you like to do to have fun? Because that misconception that you can't have fun on a budget, it's a misconception, it's inaccurate. People look at my life, look at my posts on Instagram and be like, wow, this girl can spend some money. She has a really fun life. But I actually live within an extremely tight budget right now. Very, very tight, because my finances have been tight. And so I had to sit down and think about what are some of the things that I spend my money on.

For example, I used to get my eyelashes curled because my eyelashes go flat the second I put mascara on them. So that was like a little treat I gave myself. I used to get monthly massages because my body feels better when I get a massage and I enjoy the relaxation. So I write down, like, all the things that I like to do that cost money to have fun. And then you start to think about, okay, which ones of these can I potentially cut? Because some of these will probably have to go if your budget changes.

And maybe you can add them back in when your budget changes again. But some of these things might have to go. And so for me, it was cutting out the eyelashes. And that's the thing about living within a budget. You sometimes have to make sacrifices, and it sucks. I'm not kidding you, it sucks. But there are things you will have to do to live differently if you want to still live within your budget when you're making less money. And then there's other things that I have not wanted to budge on. So one of the things, for example, that I like to do to have fun is go to a coffee shop with friends, go out to lunch.

I love going dancing. And all of these things cost money going on fun dates with my fiance. So thinking about how can I do those things on a different kind of budget? So, for example, I go to a coffee shop maybe once a week. Now, I used to go multiple times a week, and I don't order the eight dollar coffee. Like, it sounds ridiculous to save $2 at the coffee shop and order something a little bit less extravagant. But I just don't order the eight dollar coffee. I order the five dollar coffee. Or if I really want the eight dollar coffee, I'm probably going to go once a month because the coffee expenditures add up so fast.

Because those little $8 coffees, like, you have no idea how quickly that adds up. Next thing, here's an example of something I like to do. I love going dancing. I love going to the club, going dancing. It usually involves having an alcoholic beverage at the bar or the club. And there are some really cool ones in San Diego that have about a $20 to $40 cover charge. Depending on the place. You're paying probably 20, $30 to park for the night. The drinks are about $17 each. And so by the end of the night, you've spent $60 to $100 on dancing.

And then you probably had dinner with it, too. So I looked up, okay, I still love dancing, so maybe there's a way I can still go dancing on a budget. And so it took a little bit of research, but I looked up and there's actually a dance club close by that has free parking. And if you get there before a certain time, it's free cover and the drinks are much less expensive. And so I can go out for a night of dancing for $20 instead and then maybe I don't do that every single week. There's also a ton of really fun date ideas that don't cost any money.

And my fiance and I have actually tried to figure out, like, what are the coolest things we can do that don't cost money? Because we just wanted to live within a certain budget. And there's so many neat things that we've done. Some of our best memories have actually come from not spending money because we packed a picnic lunch and we went for a drive and we sat on the beach and just chatted on a beach towel and. And, like, enjoyed our picnic lunch and had, like, the best time or rode bikes around.

I know I live in an area where I can do this year round, and you're probably sitting there in Minnesota where I'm from and saying, yeah, we can't do that year round. Kerry, go sit on the beach. But there's so many cool activities you can do that don't cost money. And it just takes being a little bit creative. But at the end of the day, what I want to tell you is if you are living within a very strict budget, don't cut out fun altogether because that is detrimental to your mental health. That's really important.

And so for me, I can tell as an extrovert, I need to get out of the house. I need to go out to dinner with a friend, I need to go for a walk with a friend. I need to do something with other people. And maybe that looks like going to my church group to have community because it's a free event. But don't cut out everything. I've done that before when I've had very little income in my life, and it's just not healthy long term. So there are some things you might have to spend money on when you are on a strict budget, but there's other ways to do it.

For example, here's another thing I try when I am on a strict budget is going out to dinner can be an expensive endeavor. Alcohol, appetizers, entree. So sometimes I actually eat before I go out to dinner. Now, that might sound really sad and pathetic to you, but if I am on a pretty strict budget, and I know that I have, like, $15 to spend for this dinner for the week, I am going to eat before I go and order an appetizer, and that will be my meal. And I can still enjoy the environment with other people.

They have no idea that I'm there on a very strict budget. I just happened to have eaten an hour before I went out. So just know that, like, you have to make some sacrifices, but you don't have to make every sacrifice. There's still ways to have fun. It takes a little bit of research, it takes a little bit of just trying different things, but you can still have fun when you're on a really strict budget. And I am living proof of that. And I know that when my income increases again someday, I will probably go back to getting my eyelashes curled because I love doing that.

But for now, it's just gonna be fine that I have to use an eyelash curler and mascara. So just know that this is something you can do. I'm gonna be recording more videos on this topic because I think there's so many practical tips, tips that people just need. And, you know, more ways we can talk about poverty mindset. There's so many other things we can deep dive into there. So I'll be putting more videos on the app on this topic, too, and I would love to hear your ideas, your topics, any tips that you have with budgeting and finances, because this is definitely just an untapped area that we need to go into on Cadre because it really impacts our mental health, it impacts our livelihood.

Everything comes back to really how much money we have and how we're able to live. So love to hear what you guys have to think about the topic, but thank you for listening to me and for tuning in today on the live. I love you guys. Take care. God bless.