Sober Not Somber Hour

Hey y'. All. Welcome to Sober Not Somber Hour. Hopefully I've got four bars today. Wi Fi should be good. And I, you know, it's hat season, so I love wearing waffle beanies hats. Just like I don't have to deal with my hair. If any of you know me, I'm always in the sauna. In and out and working out just doesn't. Yeah. Make for great hairstyles all the time. Jen, Varale, Sober Not Somber Hour. If I didn't already say that I am a little under the weather today. Sunday night came down with something.

Hey, speak Wonder. And I've just been sort of taking it easy going inward. And with today's weather in Minneapolis, it's very gloomy and easy to do that. Yeah. So. So October 14th theme of harvest this month. So we're going to get into that in a second here. I just wanted to share with you some new coasters that I got for my brand, which all have little messages about empowering people in different social spaces and even at the bar to choose a non alcoholic option or, you know, just make a mindful choice when you're out drinking.

So I just got all these in the mail. How fun. This one says, society tells us to belong in this experience. You should drink. Well, I'm opting out. Join me. So just a bunch of fun little coasters and I'm super excited to have those. Yeah. So. Oh, thanks. You like my earrings? They're made out of recycled tires. So it's a thing. Personal growth is the theme related to harvest. So one thing I wanted to put out there to everyone today as I'm making my featured NA cocktail, I'm going to have is values.

So to really harvest ideas and personal growth, I think looking to a value that you deeply hold is a great place to start. In fact, I just did this through a couple months ago, through the end of my life coaching and peer recovery coaching, there was an exercise where we all just talked about our values. Hey, dream big, 30. I'm so excited to be connected with you. Yeah. And I did this exercise and one of my top values was integrity. And one of the things I noticed as I was digging deeper to harvest more information out of that value was that in active addiction for 11 years or up until I got sober 11 years ago, I was, I felt like integrity was always a value, but through alcohol use, addiction, that value, I was not living that whatsoever.

And if you look at any value and look up the definition of it and really dig into it, integrity includes honesty. But it also includes consistency. And the other cool thing that I saw when I looked it up, it's really about aligning actions with your beliefs, taking responsibility for your choices and fulfilling your commitment. So in active addiction. Yeah, yeah. Integrity somehow had that value as a younger person, but through active addiction was not living that. So I'm just making a little bev today.

Hope you all are grabbing a n a cocktail of your choice. This one, I just added a little club soda, too. And I'm going to quick mention it because my dear friend Carrie Pickering, also a Cadre contributor, and came over and gifted this bottle Wilderton to me. It's a non alcoholic botanical spirit. It is very bittersweet. It's got a little bit of grapefruit and orange and, yeah, it is definitely bittersweet, which I love. It's labeled very bold. And it's in that category of non alcoholic botanical spirit.

So I don't even really think there's a replacement that I could say, oh, this mimics whiskey or this mimics whatever brown liquor. It's just its own thing. Cheers to you, Carrie. Oh, my gosh. Thank you for gifting me this. So delicious. So back to values speak. Wonder Dream Big 30. If you have a value that you know off the top of your head that is top for you, please drop it in the chat. Welcome, Ressa. We're just talking values. And where I want to go with this is that the word harvest to me is about going very deep and I think sometimes very surface level.

We can kind of move through life thinking we're living out our values if we know them. Number one is to know them. But harvesting the really rich content of why do we have this value? What supports it? You know, with a list from my life coaching that's, you know, 38 values long. You know, why this one top value dream big 30 communication, accountability. Yeah. So then the next step, once you do know those, is to harvest more than just understanding, like, what that means, but, like, going back even into childhood or to other things to explore.

Why does that value mean so much to you? I had, you know, different people in our groups when we were sharing that, you know, humor, you know, comic relief. Like, certain other values were so important to them or trust, and they all have their own meaning. And I'll just share. When I started looking at harvesting the deep roots of my value of integrity, it has to do with consistency. And I. I really respected other people growing up that did what they said they were going to do, and they showed up.

And I believe that Value comes directly from my parents and they instilled that in me. And so when I look at how that plays out, I can kind of see in my childhood I was already starting to sort of gravitate toward this value of showing up, being consistent and following through on my actions. In fact, another way that shows up is others who I collaborate. If I am not a yes for something, it can be construed as not interested or not like all in type of person. But I'm very careful with my words and what I agree to so that I can follow through with action.

Like, I'm not going to just say, hey, yeah, let's hang out. If I don't feel there's a connection or maybe immediate need to at the moment, I'm not going to say that. And I think there are a lot of people who emptily kind of say these promises or make these statements that, you know, they're not going to follow through with. Just not a. Not, not a fan or not a value of that. So. Or doesn't that doesn't align with my values. So just some examples and speak wonder values. Loyalty. Yeah, that shows up big.

That shows up big. And you know, all of these values we hold can be very, can be very telling of how we want to be in the world. And it's also essential that we live them very clearly so that we attract others who align with those values. And if you've ever felt out of alignment and like communication is a top value, if you are doing these things and you're putting that out and from someone else in a relationship, you're not getting that back, that value system is just going to feel threatened or just like it's not in alignment, it's not a good thing.

So harvesting deeply why you have the values you do, I think is an essential area for personal growth. I'm still working on this one and there are other values I have of. There's one of innovation and always questioning and curiosity is another huge value of mine. And so I started thinking, you know, where does that come from and where does the creative aspect come from? And it just gives you all sorts of, you know, leverage to just kind of really go back and harvest what's underneath the surface of how you show up.

And again, a lot of these things can go back to childhood and one other prompt and you know, bringing everything back to sobriety, because I love to do that, is in sobriety, was not living in integrity. So wasn't being consistent with my actions, wasn't showing up and When I look at the contrast, a lot of the Cadre contributors this month as we're talking about this is, you know, looking back the metaphor of farming, harvesting, planting. So I look back to the seeds that I planted in early sobriety, and the cool thing was, even though that first year of complete sobriety was really tough, I could immediately start showing up with integrity.

How cool is that? Like, this value that I had just, like, not been able to be consistent with how I showed up in active addiction. And the moment I decided to become sober, I was living in my actions and I was living in the idea that I'm not gonna drink today. And that integrity, that value, I think, kept rising up through early sobriety, saying, doesn't this feel good? Even though the suck of navigating being a sober person in a alcohol centralized world was really tough and not fun, when I look back, oh, my gosh, it's amazing.

It's amazing to see how you can make that change and recognize how quickly you can step into one of those values, because it's just an innate thing. It's an innate thing. It's within you. It's at your core. Perseverance. Oh, that is such a good one. That was Speak Wonder. That was one of my top three aligned with persistence. And I essentially learned that from my dad. And I have so many stories about where that value comes from. For me, I wish. I wish we could be more interactive here because I love all the sharing and I do think, you know, taking a moment or two to write down why.

Why is that your value? Why did that show up? Is there a story that. That really. That really speaks to you of why that's so ingrained? I love it. A. beverages. Oh, that's my dog. You always see me like, yeah, I'm petting my dog. Oh, and y'. All. Dissonance is a. Is a mental health and advocacy group shattering stigmas around what it looks like to be sober and. And creative. And in light of World Mental Health Day, which was just Friday the 10th, having a lot of conversations around the connection of alcohol and.

And mental health. They're interconnected, for sure. I appreciate you all for chiming in so much and my wi Fi work today, so exciting. And yeah, harvest your values. Figure out the stories that are attached to them and why and find additional meaning in there. I love that. Na. Cheers. As I say, and especially to Carrie Pickering. Thank you for the. The Wilderton Bev. So, yeah, this is the label Isn't this cool? How fun is that? Have a great rest of the day. Happy Tuesday. And will be checking in with you next week.

Oh, and Luke just checked in. Hi and bye, Luke.