What’s In Your Toolbox?

Let's talk about control versus outcome. Body image edition. Hi, everyone. Jill and Mary here with Cadre. And we have been going through some stuff in the month of January, so we want to talk about it. Body image. We're in our thirties and it's something we struggle with on a daily basis. This is legit. The first time I have not worn makeup all month long because my face has broken out like nothing I've ever experienced. And it's been really difficult for me to come to terms with. And same for me.

My skin has been. No matter how hard I focus on the products and the washing and the routine. The routine and the silk water is. My skin is screaming, it's inflamed. I have rosacea. And then you go down a rabbit hole of what is the root cause of it or what is wrong with me. That's where I go. The root cause is always me. Something I'm not doing right, something I'm doing wrong. And if I look back on my life, that's been the case through several different areas. So, for instance, you can see that I have a beautiful subjective, obviously full of tattoos.

But the reason I started getting tattoos in the first place was to cover some of me up. I have something, you can see it on this arm called keratosis pilarisis. It's not deadly. It's not going to do anything to me. It just means, basically, my skin looks like chicken skin. So it's red, bumpy and blotchy, and it doesn't necessarily matter what I eat, what products I use on my skin. I am going to have these bumps on my arm. And it's something that I've been self conscious of since. For as long as I can remember, people always come up to me and ask if I'm cold because my skin is bumpy, or if I'm sunburnt because it's red.

And it's been something that I have struggled dealing with, like I said, for as long as I can remember. So when I get acne and I can't cover it up or use a filter to make it go away, it makes me look in the mirror and question who I am. Well, it makes you not want to show up. I don't know about you, but for me, it's like I. Why? Why is this happening? Why do I have to go now in front of people when I don't feel confident myself? We know that we're not alone in this struggle and we want to talk about it because we're going through it well, if we're going through it, we know you're going through it as well.

So we can only control so much. Jill hinted to it earlier, right? We work out, we eat well, we supplement, we drink water, we get enough sleep. I said silk pillowcases really gone down the rabbit hole of self care and how to help ourselves the most we can. And at the end of the day we still can't control the outcome. And I think it's really important to point out that regardless of the effort you put in, that's all you have control of, your attitude and your effort, not the outcome. And how do you find happiness in the waiting?

That's the hard part, because you're wanting the results to feel happy. But that in between gray area, that's when you have to dig the deepest to be grateful for the process and the waiting to find true happiness and to be happy for the entire process. Right? Because honestly, I'm so happy today with how my skin looks. And it's literally been 31 days of awful, like skin picking and trying different regimes and going to get facials and, and, and all of these things. And today I'm finally happy. But did I miss out on 31 days of telling myself that I love myself, that I'm great despite what my skin looks like, that I'm a good person who impacts others in a positive way?

That's the happiness in the waiting. That's who we get to refine and define when things are not going our way. And those skills, even if it's just having to deal with acne, those skills that you refine in that time, those that perseverance, those skills carry on to other things in your life. So let this be a gentle reminder for you listening that your words have power, that you looking at yourself and picking yourself apart. Flip it. How can you be happy in the waiting? Because I promise you, the result is coming.

The result is coming. You have to be kind to yourself first. Until next time, we'll talk more and more about how to boost your self confidence up as opposed to tearing yourself down. We will see you on the next video.