The Circle of Control; What’s In Our Control Vs. What’s Not

Hello, Cadre. What's up, Cadre crew? Jill and Mary here, your social, emotional learning experts. And we develop people in emotional intelligence. That's things like their self confidence, their self awareness, and their self esteem. And to be quite honest with you, we're having a bit of a morning. So we figured if we're having a bit of a morning in terms of what we're struggling with, someone out there probably can relate a hundred times over. What are we struggling with, Jo? Control. Control. I'm sure there's a lot of you out there that are in the same boat with us, but, man, we, as human beings, want to control everything.

Finances, relationships, outcomes. And we're sitting here in a massive amount of control or wanting to control some outcomes within our business. We, as a pair, just made a huge decision for me to come into the business full time, which means I took a giant leap of faith and left my full time job in order to pursue what we do. And it's scary, it's uncomfortable. There's no plan b. There's no safety net. So what do we do when we want to control things? Right? We clench up. We are super tight, and this is a really beautiful visual, because when you close your fists so tightly, you're cutting off circulation.

As opposed to what we'll talk about in a minute is having open palms. So closed versus open. So a few things that having this tight control, this unwavering, like, this is how it has to be, or this is how it has to look. Mindset or perspective. The way that manifests. Manifest in us is. For me, it was face full of tears this morning. You missed my. The top of my sweater was absolutely soaked because they were just streaming down my face. For Jill. For me, I walked over and I told her that I am so stressed out, I am popping a cold sore.

Stress is manifesting in my body, and it's expressing itself right on my lips. So, for us, this is a moment to connect around. Why are we so stressed out, and what is in our control right now? The only things that we can control is how we go about the situation, our attitude, and our effort. So how we go about the situation is continuing to put in the effort that we know will yield us results. Maybe they're not the results that we expect to have happen, but they will be results. And those results might be better than any expectation that we had.

But we know that if we put in the work and we send the email and we make the connections and we show up as ourselves, which is bubbly and fun, and excited to do this work. The outcome will present itself, whether it's the outcome we wanted or not. I looked at Mary today and I said, we are solution oriented. Amen. If we are stressed about something in our lives that we cannot control, what can we do to be solution focused so that it alleviates a little bit of the pressure that we're carrying on our shoulders?

We can be solution focused so that we can walk away today less stress than we started our day. And that's what we want to offer you. Cadre, where in your life can you look at your situation and come with a couple of solutions so that you feel a little bit lighter than how you started? Because inaction will continue to keep you in that stress or shame spiral. Action will help you move out of it and move through it, as will accountability. I was not going to sit here this morning if Jill wasn't going to come over and cry myself to sleep by myself.

Accountability. In the fact that I know I have a phone, a friend, I don't know if you guys remember, who wants to be a millionaire, but that's my lifeline. I will use that lifeline over and over and over again, and we want to be that lifeline for you. If you don't believe in yourself today, borrow our belief in you, because sometimes that's the only thing that you need to take the step to get out of the spiral that you're in right now. Lastly, what can you look at right now? If your world is spinning, what are you grateful for?

So, being solution focused, allowing you to feel a little bit lighter, but also, what are you grateful for? Think about other people elsewhere in a lot worse off situations than where you're at. I know it's hard to see the silver lining in it, but gratitude will also support you in this overwhelm or this place of stress. Jill always sends her kids off to school, and she says one thing to them every day. Remember who you are and what you stand for. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, the silver lining that she was just talking about.

Remember who you are. Remember what you stand for in those times of stress and overwhelm. That will hopefully be your guiding light to get out of those. This, too shall pass. Until next time, you guys. Bye.