The speaker opens with greetings, small talk, and orients viewers to being at the March Conference in St. Paul. This establishes the live, informal setting for the talk.
The host explains a quick wellbeing check-in scale from 1 to 10 and invites viewers to reflect or share in chat, then shares that he feels about an eight. This short exercise aims to ground the group and model honest self-assessment.
He introduces a series about topics people avoid talking about and explains he wants to go deeper emotionally. The host also discloses that he spent time in prison, signaling the personal nature of what's to come.
The speaker recounts his street-life experiences and how he practiced a 'tough' or 'angry' face to fit in and survive, even rehearsing it in the mirror until it became his default. This section explains how survival adaptations can become automatic behaviors.
Moving into recovery, he describes learning a new mask that signals everything is okay, which he also wore so long he forgot it was there. He reflects on how that mask can hide real struggles from supportive people.
Using an onion and Scooby-Doo metaphor, he outlines how people accumulate layers of masks to hide insecurities and anxiety and says he is choosing to take those masks off. He frames this as a gradual process and the impetus for sharing harder topics.
He reiterates that being a coach doesn't mean perfection, asks viewers which mask they've worn so long they forgot about it, and encourages comments and engagement before signing off. The segment closes with a final call to connect.
Cadre fam, Cadre fam, good morning, good morning, good morning. We are gonna give it a little bit of time, let some people roll in. Got my coffee today, out and about. Today's a good day to have a good day. We'll give it some time, see people roll in. So currently today, it is Tuesday, 914. It's a good day. Right now I am at the March Conference. March Conference is a conference for resources for substance use and mental health, which is in St. Paul, the River Center. I call it the Super Bowl for substance use and mental health, literally, the Minnesota Super Bowl for it.
So speak, wonder, good morning, good morning. All right, check it out. So today what I like to do, how I like to start is a basic check-in. So 1 through 10, where's everybody at today? One being, I shouldn't, I didn't want to get out of bed. Ten being, it's the best day ever. All right, where are you at today? I challenge you, ask yourself, drop it in the chat if you feel inclined. If not, just ask yourself internally. Today, I would say I'm at about an 8. I'm at a good eight, all right? If I had some food in my stomach, I'd probably be at a nine.
So, yeah. So what do I got today for you guys? So lately, I have decided to start kind of a new series talking speak wonder 8 plus let's go I've been talking start a series called the shit we don't talk about right excuse my language a little vulgar but it's real it's raw and authentic right I've talked about a lot of things that were comfortable for me to talk about because I've talked about them so much looking at my situations and experiences in hindsight, rather than actually talking about like the feelings, emotions and things that go into it.
Sorry. No, you're totally fine. So I decided to go a little bit deeper, right? So today, one of the things what I wanted to speak about was, I'm gonna bring, I was in prison, right? So check this out. I was in prison, did a lot of jail time back in the day, right? And before going into prison, I was in the street life and I was a good kid, playing with pokémon cards, doing all this stuff, right? but I would be around people that I would have to act tougher than I actually was, right? I would have to put on this tough guy persona.
I would have to like harden my face and try to make myself look tough to fit in, right? And I'm not gonna lie, I used to practice in the mirror, right? I'd be in the mirror like trying to practice my tough face, right? And it was obnoxious, right? But it was real. I was doing something that I had to learn how to do to fit in for survival. right? Because if people saw me smiling and joking in those situations, they would thought that I was weak or that I was vulnerable. So I practiced it, right? I practiced it so much that as I went into the streets, into jails and prisons, that it became a normal thing.
I learned how to put my tough face on and it became my normal face to the point where I didn't know when I had it on or no. And people were like, what's wrong with you? You're angry. I'm like, oh, like I'm stuck on angry face mode, right? And So imagine someone practicing their angry face in the mirror, right? It sounds goofy, it sounds all these things, but it was real, all right? Now, skip forward a bunch of years. Coming into recovery, being out and on this side of the world, I learned how to put a face on that says I was okay.
I learned how to put a mask on, I learned how to smile, like, oh, life is good, right? This is something I've dove into a few years back, or it's like, you know what? It reminds me of that same mask I used to put on to think that I was tough. Now I'm putting on a completely different mask to show that I'm okay and that I'm not sad and that I'm not depressed and I'm not hurting. And I got so good at putting that mask on that I forgot it was on and it became a part of me, right? And a lot of us are dealing with that.
A lot of us are struggling with that. In certain ways we have masks on, but some of those masks we needed to wear at certain times for survival. Some of those masks have saved our lives, our jobs, our relationships. But some of those masks that we're wearing, we've had them on so long that we forgot they're there. Right? And I've had to learn how to take that mask off of hiding my emotions and my feelings and sadness and just take it off and realize like, you know what? It's okay to show up and I can be sad.
I could be going through some things, but life goes on and I need to talk about it. If I have this mask on, the people in my life that care about me, they're not gonna know that I'm struggling. If I forgot that I have the mask on, how am I gonna expect other people to know if I have a mask on or not, right? And that's something that I've struggled with in layers. And even now, there's more layers, right? There's always another mask somewhere. It gets deeper, right? Whether it's hiding deep insecurities or deep certain social anxieties or whatever your thing is.
It's like an onion, peeling back layers. But for me, it's masks, right? It reminds me like the old Scooby-Doo. It reminds me of the old Scooby-Doo cartoons where they would find the ghost at the end and they'd take the mask off. And then there's another mask and then there's another mask. And I thought that was so interesting, but like, we have those masks too. So instead of waiting for someone else to take them off and expose me for them, I've chose to start taking them off myself. right? And it's been a progression over the years, right?
And so with me talking about the shit I don't want to talk about, the shit we don't talk about, that's me taking off another mask. It's like, you know what? There's some things going on. There's some things that I can't go through unless I talk about them, right? There's some things that, and I'm not saying from a sense of like processing out loud, but it's like, hey, these are real things that I'm working on and this is how I want to talk about and show up because it's real. I'm a coach on here.
I'm A contributor. But I have to let you know, that doesn't mean life is perfect. That doesn't mean that I have it all together or that I don't have hard days because we all do. We're human, right? But I wake up every day and try to find a different mask to take off for myself. And the shit that I don't want to talk about is the good one. So we're going to talk about more things that are deeper, a little bit darker, the things that are really happening. I'm going to share those things because there's a lot of things in there that can be taken as lessons that might help for you guys.
So my question for you Because I always have a call to action today is what mask have you been wearing so long that you forgot you have it on? What does that look like? Is it a mask of strength? Is it a mask of I got it all together? A mask of my professional career is good, everything's good? What mask are you wearing? We all have different ones. So I ask you, what mask are you wearing that you might have had on for so long that you forget you had it on? what I got for you guys would love to hear more in the comments tap in with me you guys have a good day speak wonder peace out Cole awesome all right peace out y'all
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