What’s In Your Toolbox

Oh, boom. We're on. It just goes right on now. Hi, everyone. Happy Tuesday. We're popping on a little early, so we'll wait for the notification to go out. Hello. A little bit different of a surrounding for us today, but we are on the move. We're on the move. Is it Tuesday? It's Tuesday. Happy Tuesday. Tomorrow is Wednesday, so that would make today Tuesday. And I just need to call out on Sunday. We have a special, special Mary Frances birthday. Born in 88. I'll be 35. Holy moly. How did that happen?

But that is not what we're here to talk about today. On this lovely Tuesday, in what we lovingly refer to as the girls mentorship mobile hq, this is where a lot of the magic happens. Hi, Katie. Welcome to our livestream. This truly, this vehicle, it's a 2011 GMC Acadia, is where so much of the magic has happened in between our friendship, our business. Thanks, Katie. It's Sunday. Sunday, Sunday. I'm glad she did that with me. This vehicle has been just it for us. It's been so much fun to make memories in this drive to and from.

I mean, we've accomplished so much in this vehicle, so it's only fitting that we're sitting here talking about what we're gonna talk about 100%. We gotta let you in on a little drama. Jill and I had a breakdown in communication yesterday. I won't go as far as calling it a knockdown drag out, but it kind of felt like we both got knocked down and dragged out. Not that we haven't had miscommunications within our relationship before. However, this one kind of escalated to a different level than I think either one of us were used to, to.

And we want to talk about the fact of how easy it is to not show up when there's conflict. Because both of us were left feeling a void yesterday and there was no resolution at the end of our conversation. We kind of left it to get some space. Things felt heavy and s***** and not great. So it was a lot easier to think of calling quits today. Oh, yeah. I. Last night, it probably took me a good 30 minutes to conduct a text message to her around working today, because I don't know about any of you, but I have a tendency when times get hard, I like to run, and that has been my past story or my past narrative, and I've really done the work.

And why we're talking about this today is because I'm in the work right now with you and why we're bringing this conversation to our life today because it's real. When we feel hurt, it's so much easier to call in sick the next day than to show up. And I knew that at 1130 last night when I was about to go to bed, but my mind was swirling and the thoughts were going. I was like, just tell her to show up tomorrow and let's talk it through. That's it. And that's going to force me to show up for myself and for her to communicate exactly what we need.

Because as much as we thought we were going to accomplish getting to a common ground yesterday, we both needed space. And my space looks differently than hers. And I can't compare the way that I process and feel and work through things. I can't compare the way that I do that to her or making her wrong. So it's been a journey. These last 24 hours have felt like this. And I watched a live on Friday with Miss Risa, and she was saying that life really needs to look like this, because when life is like this, whether it's your personal life or your business, you're flatlined.

So it's ekgs, right? EKG. So this is the heartbeat. I mean, my stomach was in my throat. My throat was in my stomach. Like, that is normal. Mary and I are going through growing pains, and to be able to come back together after conflict, I told her today, I'm really proud of us because we both spoke our truth and we now get to recommit. So as opposed to leaving anyone feeling a certain way, we have a responsibility, we have our own responsibility to own in our actions in the conversation yesterday.

But we also. Now what? How do we use this to catapult us forward versus holding us back? Well, not only did we have responsibilities towards one another, we have responsibilities for commitments that we made within our business. So how easy is it when you have a nine to five job to say, you know what, I'm not feeling great today because of something that happened. I'm not going to face it. I'm going to call in sick. Unfortunately or fortunately, however you want to look at it, we don't really have sick days at this point in our life because we've committed to growing a business, committed to showing up and sharing real live, real lived experiences with everyone on the other side of this platform.

Because we know if we're going through it, somebody else has gone through it. So if you are having a hard time, if you have had conflict with. Jill is not only my business partner, she's my best friend. If you have had conflict in that way, it can certainly be easier to say, you know what? I'm not going to show up today. Take all the space that you need. We want to grant you the grace to take the space that you need in order to come back to the situation, being able to respond and not react, but you got to face it, because you don't take the easy way out.

We know that if you're on this app and if you're looking for ways to grow and develop yourself, you're not somebody that takes the easy way out. And showing up this morning to her house was not easy. She said it. It wasn't the easiest thing to compose a text message, to, like, touch base on business things, because we knew that we were hurting as friends and we wanted to jump in as friends or say those type of things. However, we needed to talk about business matters that we had on the schedule and things that we absolutely couldn't avoid.

So, would it have been the easy way out to hit the snooze button and say, you know what, Jill, I'm not feeling well today. I'm gonna cancel our day? Yes, it would have been easy, but we don't take the easy way out because we got to have an incredible conversation this morning about where we faltered, where our miscommunication was, and do exactly what Jill said, recommit. So we're challenging you today if that you're. If you're going through something currently or if you're. You're gonna go through something in the future, handle it, hit it head on and recommit to yourself, because the things.

Those things are gonna keep popping up. They're gonna keep stalling in front of you. There we go. We're back. Okay. The only way is through. You have to get through it in order to learn the lesson and become better because of it. Yeah. So we hope. Yeah. Don't take the easy way out. Not only do you not take the easy way out, but you also are crushing the. Stevie. Yes, Luke. Thanks, Steve. So I'm so glad. Katie says, what if you commit, but the other party doesn't and shuts down for weeks? That's a really great question.

That's a really great question. And Jill pointed out that she hits conflict in a different way than I hit conflict. I do have a tendency to shut down, and it has to do with things in my past that have been left unaddressed at a certain point in time. So you can only push as much as you. You can push at a certain point. You're gonna end up pushing that person away. So I think it's really important to let that other person know that the door is open when they are ready to walk through it and make sure that they know that you're gonna be ready to receive them when they are ready to hit that conflict head on.

I think people get really scared and ashamed of conflict, and the tendency is to run. But you, as the person that wants to hit that conflict head on, can drop simple reminders. Hey, I'm here. Hey, whenever you're ready. Hey, do you want to do lunch? It's on me. And I know that can seem exhausting or like there should be. It's like a two way street. Right? However do you want. Do you want to be right, or do you want to save the friendship? And that's a really big question in terms of how you wind up handling the situation, because our egos can get in the way of a lot.

Did I want to list everything that I've ever done that was the greatest in the business and go tit for tat and say, I did this, you should do that? Does it matter? Does any of that actually matter? And is it moving the needle forward for us? Because I can guarantee you that the answer is no. And the one thing that Mary and I really stand on is, and I. This is where I faltered, was clarity is kindness. And as much as I thought I was helping her, I wasn't helping her at all, because I wasn't being honest about a few things.

And that unclarity, me not being bold enough to speak my truth or to bring her in. And I was like, why was I so afraid? She's my best friend. But again, I have tendencies to be people pleasing, and I didn't want her to feel hurt or let down. And the more that you don't confront those feelings because you're trying to be everything for everyone. It's so unkind in the long run. Unkind in the long run. And we can tie that back to so many things. Right. Short term gratification versus long term gratification.

When we're not being clear in our messaging, it wins in the short term. But what is it doing in the long run? What is it doing to the foundation of the relationship if there's already cracks in it or things that you need to talk about that are going left unsaid? I love that. Luke, my amazing wife, Emily. Do you want to win, or do you want to be married? Right. And Jill and I obviously aren't married, but she is my partner. In business. And. And we have to treat business like a marriage. We do. And we have seen far too many people break up a relationship based on petty things that just aren't worth it.

And to us, we're committed to our relationship as friends before we are business partners. So to get that out yesterday, I think it was obviously good for us to hit that kind of conflict, because now moving forward, when something pops up like that again, we have a clearer understanding of how we're going to handle it. But we also proved something to ourselves today because we're both runners. When conflict arises, we both have the tendency to look the other way and say, sayonara. See you later.

You hurt me. Well, I'm never gonna talk to you again. I'm never coming over again. We'll just work from siloed from our houses and we'll keep the business. But it proved to ourselves that we were bigger than that. And I think that's one of the coolest parts about these action steps that you can take in your own life. It doesn't get any easier unless you practice it. So you have to put in the rep. So what can you prove to yourself today in terms of something, a hard conversation, a conflict that needs to be resolved?

Cause we believe in you. We believe in you because we just did it. Absolutely. And is everything better? I mean, my eyes are still real puffy. We're going into a photo shoot like, this is real life that we have to live. But we know that you can do it because we just did. And if you don't know that you can do it, borrow our belief. Borrow our belief in you. We give you permission. We give you permission to throw something else away so that you can step into something different because you're worth it.

And so is the relationships that are being sacrificed. Because, remember, clarity is kindness. And you got this. So let us know in the comments how this conversation felt for, for you or what you're committing to. Just like we had to commit again to one another. All right, y'all enjoy the rest of your Tuesday. We'll look forward to continuing this conversation in the comment section. See everyone? Oh, we got that five second countdown. Oh, that's right. We'll see you in three, two, one. Bye.