What’s In Your Toolbox?

Hi. Tuesday. Tuesday, we're coming at you live. This wonderful Tuesday it is. We're in Arizona, but it feels like Kansas because we're about to be. We're getting blown out of here. We are. We feel like Dorothy and I have three totos if you don't. Fun fact about me. I have three dogs. Jill has two kids. Three dogs. You know, we're both moms in our own right. That's right. And happy Tuesday. You guys are joining us on Tuesday for our toolbox talks where we talk about the things that we can utilize in our day.

When we're challenged, when we're stressed, when we need some inspiration, whether we have it or not. But sometimes we just kind of go on autopilot and we forget how we're showing up. We forget to look up. We forget to look up. So these conversations allow us to be real together because we equally are in this work with you. We're practicing these skills and we're excited to talk about what we want to talk about today. Hi, Risa. Hi, Alec. What's up, Chris? Hi, guys. Chris had a great livestream earlier today and that's just a little reminder to get used to this incredible app.

We have creators going live all day, every day talking about really inspirational and applicable topics. So let's get into it. We want to talk about something that applicable, let's say that word again is very applicable to our life. And it's. I always want to say ABC always be closing, but for us it's always be selling so abs and this happened to both of us in different circumstances this weekend. So I'm going to start with my story and then I'll let Jill take it from there. My question, the question that I want to pose to you is how are you inviting people into your story?

We're all living a story. We like to tell the girls and the families that we work with that they're the main character in their life. So how are you enrolling other people in the script that is your life? And my story comes from having faulty Internet connection. My Internet provider has not, has been doing me dirty lately and I didn't really experience because I've been working a full time job somewhere else and I quit at the end of December to be full time within girls mentorship come January 1.

So since January to now, my Internet connection has been and it's been kicking me off and it's been just giving me the wheel of death. You know, the circle where you're like, what's happening? It's been giving me a hard time. So I finally called, and I was like, what's up? I pay x amount of dollars for a faulty connection. This isn't working for me. Right? And they were like, you just need to upgrade. And I was like, that's not the issue. I'm paying this amount of money for something to work. It should work.

So they sent out a technician. And if you've ever had a technician come to your house, those interactions can feel very, you know, passerby. Here's my issue. Please fix it. I also love that they give you the longest window. We'll be out from nine to eight. You're like, all day, all day, I'll be around. But something about Jill and I that's very unique, we feel is very unique in this day and age is that our sole purpose and every interaction that we have in a day is to leave the person better than we found them.

And that happens from the second I introduced myself to the second I say goodbye. And it was no different in this interaction. I literally answered the door and I said, hi, thank you so much for coming. I'm so appreciative of your time. Instant wall down, right? So we get to chatting, small talk. He goes outside, he's like, see the problem? I'm like, there's a problem right away. Glory hallelujah. It means that I don't have to upgrade. Like they were trying to sell me, right? So he gets to talking, and I'm like, yeah, I've had a problem with Zoom calls.

I got kicked off a podcast interview yesterday. I'm just so infuriated. And he goes, if you don't mind me asking, what do you do? And I love that question because it allows me to kick open the door to invite people into my story. He goes, what do you do? You've got such an incredible personality. One of the best compliments that I could possibly receive because it means I'm doing my job. I'm making other people feel seen, heard, and valued. So, long story short, I tell them about girls mentorship.

We teach life and personal development skills to teen and tween girls. We help them show up confidently. We help them refine their self esteem. We help them understand their self awareness, all of the things. And he is, like, enamored by it. Turns out we have a ton in common, right? He lived in a place where my mom lives, small town, USA. I'm like, oh, my goodness. We're faith based. We have that in common. He doesn't just come to do his job. To put a bandaid on the problem, like a lot of technicians probably do, if we're being honest.

He spends 2 hours solving the root cause of my Internet problems. And I fully believe it's because I treated him in such a way that was aiming to make him feel seen, heard, and valued and to leave him better than I found him. He not only spent 2 hours doing that, he text me the next day to see how my Internet was and followed up a week later to say, how's it going? I'm still. I just want to make sure everything's good. I fully believe I was sent to your house to make sure that you had the best Internet connection possible because people deserve to hear your messaging.

And I was awestruck. I left feeling that phone conversation where they tried to upgrade me, p***** off and dejected like I was just another number to them, to feeling like I had one of the best interactions that I possibly could. This man made my entire weekend. And it was literally all because I wanted to always be inviting people into my story. Jill was on the other side of the country. Literally. No, no. No jokes. We're in Arizona. She was on a flight to Atlanta doing the exact same thing. I do not sleep on planes.

I think there is always an opportunity. Of course, with respect, I'm not gonna, you know, take somebody's earbud out to tell them about me. But we, the woman that I was sitting next to, we were doing our thing. I was working. She was on her phone. She did take a little nap. It wasn't like we were already in a conversation, but what we were doing was paying attention to the three women behind us. The three women happened to be moms. We were on a flight full of volleyball players. And I, of course, being in the work that I do, I was like, these are my people.

Instant tune in. My ears did. Uh huh. It was really hard for me to stay focused because I was really just kind of eavesdropping on the conversation of what these girls are struggling with from a mom's perspective. So I'm listening, and I'm also doing my work. And finally, it comes to a point where this woman who I'm sitting next to leans over and she's like, do you hear the moms behind us? I'm like, yeah, I've been listening this whole time. We're on a fight for 4 hours. So, of course, yes, we have a small little interaction, and as opposed to me just ending that conversation there, I got curious about who she was.

I'm like, are you traveling to Atlanta for fun. Do you live there? And then we get into this conversation about what she does, what I do, come to find out she's this incredible naturopath that works here in Scottsdale. And then we start exchanging more about what we do. And she's like, oh, my gosh, I love what you do. And I serve so many families and girls that I would love to refer you to. I want you and your business partner when you get back, I want you to come and experience what I do so that we can collaborate, so that I can give back to you because I know you're pouring into other people.

I was like, excuse me, we need an naturopath. Absolutely. So why we're saying always be closing or always be selling is because you never know who you're going to run into. You never know if that person is going to lead you to an opportunity. And whether they do or don't really, our mantra is give without expectation. We do not expect that by us showing up vibrantly or energetically that we expect anything in return. But the beautiful thing is that rule of reciprocity. The more that you give to people, the more that you're going to get back.

And what I got in that interaction was a new connection, a new opportunity for us to go work on ourselves. Because truly we are lightworkers and we need to make sure that these two vessels are good to go so that we can serve and impact more girls and families. So the message here, why we're sharing our stories is because you never know. You never know who you're going to interact with. Kindness is free. So smiling at somebody or exchanging a small interaction, asking questions so that you can really take it in and give a little bit more, versus closing off and staying withdrawn is going to open up insane opportunities for you that you might not have seen otherwise.

And I feel like selling has a negative connotation, right. We've all been involved in a text thread conversation or a Facebook message where somebody is trying to sell you on their network marketing or their new business venture and you feel really gross about it. We want to put a different spin on selling because I am not a salesman. I've never sold used cars. I'm not trying to pull the wool over your eye. I think selling is really selling yourself. And I legitimately, it does not matter who it is, where I am, or what I'm doing.

Everyone knows who I am and what I stand for because I find a way to weave in what's important to me in that conversation. Literally one more minor example, because I'll never forget the look on her face. I was walking into target a couple weeks ago, and the security guard was standing there, and, I mean, she was a wallflower. She hadn't said hi to anybody for days. And I looked at her and I said, hi, how's your day? And she looked at me kind of like a deer in the headlights. And she was like, wow.

No one has said hi to me in a while, in a year. And I'm like, you know, well, my name's Mary. I own a company called girls mentorship, and I literally teach girls how to make eye contact and verbalize how they're feeling or start conversations with people. And that started a ten minute conversation. She follows us now on Instagram. She might not have kids that she can refer to our program, but I bet she knows somebody that does. And I think that's really cool, because whether she has somebody who is somebody who has kids or not, she's going to get value from what we're putting out there just because of who we are.

Jill used the word lightworker earlier. These ideas, these ideas that we exchange on Cadre, these ideas that we exchange in our business are valuable for everyone. So always be selling. Always be selling who you are, because somebody is going to find value in that. And for those people out there who don't, they're not for you. And that is okay. You could be the juiciest peach this side of the Mississippi, and there's going to be somebody who doesn't like peaches. Bless and release those people because they don't need to be a part of your movie script.

I always like to think of, like, old soap operas where it's like, you can cut that person out. She's not a part of the rest of the series. Went in an elevator and never came back. I won't say what happened to her, but these are the days of our lives, so we want to gift you with that today that it's okay to talk about the things that you love and invite people in to share in those things, because you literally never know what's going to come from it. And I was just going to say, you can invite them in, in the good times and the challenging times to be real with someone when someone's asking you how your day is.

And as opposed to the blanket statement, oh, good. It's like, you know, I'm going through some things and just even saying that, it's like, wow, thank you. I am, too. How can I support you? You never you never know. You never know who is ready to receive your story and what you're going to be selling to them. And it's literally the seven degrees of separation to Kevin Bacon. For those of you too young to know what that means, google it. It's awesome. So with that said, y'all go out and sell yourself.

Invite people into your story, and we'll see you next week on toolbox. Same time, same thing. Chris, you said excuse me while I'll put this stuff in my toolbox. Ethan, love the idea of giving people your best while expecting nothing in return, right? The greatest gift come from a place of nothing. When you expect things of people, that's when your expectations don't get met and you get disappointed. So how do you change that story? That's right. All right, y'all, we'll see you next time. Bye, everyone.