I can accept what I cannot change without believing I am powerless.
Carrie greets viewers, introduces the topic 'peace without surrender', and briefly shares her background in HR and lived mental health experience.
She asks listeners to rate how they're feeling on a scale of 1–10, discloses her own mood and factors affecting it such as weather, family challenges, and grief, and explains why she's focused on this topic.
She explains that she reads books to re-ground her mindset and will share highlights from two books that approach acceptance and agency differently.
Carrie summarizes the first book's three belief areas (attention, anticipation, agency) and the second book's emphasis on recognizing what you can't control, then applies these ideas to specific personal examples like the weather, supporting a family member, and honoring her late mother.
She invites viewers to ask what they're trying to control and where to put energy for impact, offers comfort and next steps, thanks viewers, and invites future engagement.
Hello everyone. I hope you are doing well today. My name is Carrie Heimer and I am talking today, the topic is peace without surrender. And in the description I shared that I can accept what I cannot change without feeling powerless. So that's what we're going to talk about today. Before I get started, I just want to give a quick reminder if I'm meeting you for the first time that again, my name is Carrie and I was a former head of HR for a company for 17 years. And I also have had my own journey with lived mental health experience.
And so you'll find me often talking about subjects that I can relate to personally, and that is anxiety, depression, incredible amounts of stress, grief and loss. Those tend to be areas that I focus on. So before I get started, I wanted to just do a really quick check in with all of you. I like to do this. Sometimes I forget, but on a scale of 1 to 10, whenever you're listening to this, share with me how you're showing up today. 10 is I'm feeling amazing. One is, I could barely, get out of bed this morning.
And there are no right or wrong answers, just kind of where you're feeling in this moment. To be honest, for me personally, I'm probably sitting at about a five or a six right now. This has been a difficult week, stretch for me personally. I live in Minnesota and we have had, you know, five or six consecutive days of rain, cloudy skies, no sunshine. And I know For me, my mood is extremely affected by that. And I've talked to many others this week who are as well. The second thing, I have a family member who's going through a really difficult season and that weighs on me, that weighs on me heavily.
And then thirdly, As I'm going into stores lately and seeing all the holiday decorations coming up, I'm reminded that this will be the second year without my mom this Thanksgiving and Christmas. And so that had me feeling in a little bit of funk. So it's easy to have all of those things stringed together and before you know it, it's hard to see or find the joy in things. So that's really my focus for today is just to talk a little bit about maybe some things that will help you if you're experiencing this.
My go-to whenever I'm getting in this kind of mode is to find books that help me kind of reground or shift my mindset on what's possible as opposed to things that are maybe not going the way I had hoped. And so I want to share highlights from two different books that I'm reading that come at this topic from a different perspective. Book number one talks about the power of our own beliefs, and I could do a whole other live on this at a later date, but it breaks it down into three categories. One is where do you put your attention?
The second is how do you anticipate things that are going to happen? And then the third is the concept of the power of agency. So agency means recognizing where our actions can make a meaningful difference. It does not mean total control. Book number two comes at this idea of control from the other side, and that is recognizing what you don't have the power to control or change and putting your energy elsewhere. So if I apply that to the three scenarios that I started this call with, number one is I can't change the weather.
I wish I could and I can't, but what can I do? I can push myself to connect with more people when I'm feeling in a funk because of the gray days. Actually, I met with Ro, had coffee with Ro the other day, and it was such a gift. I can move my body in ways that maybe give me more energy. I can read things that nourish my mind. Those are some things that I can do. As it relates to the family member that's going through a difficult time, I can't fix everything, and that can be one of the most frustrating things 'cause we want to help, and in this case I can't, but I can love, I can listen, I can be there for this person and support in that way, and then my mom, nothing is gonna bring my mom back, but what can I do?
I can honor her memory. I can be reminded of how much you loved the holidays. I can carry on the traditions that we shared together. So those are things that I can do. So really it's about recognizing where I have influence and accepting what I can't change. So my invitation for you this week is to ask yourself, what am I trying to control that isn't mine to control? What are the things that I could put my energy against that might actually make a difference? So those are just a couple questions to reflect on this week and hopefully it brings you a little bit of comfort and helps you take a few steps forward.
So I'm grateful to connect with you today. I will be excited to reconnect with you next week. If you have any questions or topic ideas for me, please do let me know. Until then, be well.
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