Tales Of Leadership

Happy Thursday, everybody. Beautiful day outside, especially in Minnesota. We've been waiting months and months and months to be able to have a day like this. It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. All the things. People, I'm sure, are feeling it. If you're in Minnesota, it's like, get outside. Get your kids outside. Some families are sick. I get all that. Well, you know, allergies and whatnot. But, you know, regardless, take this moment in if you can. We've been waiting months and months and months to get outside, but really excited to share this message today.

Really excited to share this message. Has anybody worked with an employee before, a colleague that you maybe didn't like? Right. That you didn't necessarily like them? You don't always see eye to eye that you struggled, right? You struggled to find common ground, maybe because there's other individuals you like and you become friends with and all the other things, but there's other individuals that you work with, from colleagues or otherwise, that you struggle to just even build a friendship, right?

And I'm no different. Right. This was in my life seven years ago, six years ago, I worked with an individual that I struggled with for almost three years. Let's be honest. He didn't really like me and I didn't really like him. But these are the three tips and three bits of advice I'm going to give you to be able to make sure that you can find common ground and you continue to work with each other and have it be a prosperous relationship. Okay? So here's number one. Here's tip number one, right? So you and your colleague are struggling and you're struggling together.

Number one, find communication that works. Is it less frequent? Is it more frequent? Is it email? Is it text? How do you prefer to communicate? And you know that respect factor in your communication. Right? Like, are you talking bad about them to other individuals? Are you not, you know, regardless of, like, don't like? Respect is another topic here, right? So just because you don't like somebody doesn't mean that you shouldn't have respect for them, which means you treat them the right way and all the things.

But again, so from a communication perspective, find what works best for you when you struggle with an employee, right? Is it face to face? Isn't having another individual with you? Is it email confirmation that received stuff? Is it whatever, right? Because ultimately that's going to bleed into the next topic, which is their actions are their actions, right? So again, number one, pick the communication. Number two, their actions are their actions. How they show up, how they communicate. Why they communicate.

Sometimes when you don't like somebody, it can. Almost from a colleague based perspective, it can feel like nails on a chalkboard. Even when they talk in a meeting, when they represent an idea, when maybe they disagree with you, when somebody disagrees with you that you like, it's probably a much different conflict resolution. So how you handle that and how you move forward with said individual, I would encourage you to take a step back and try to identify why their actions frustrate you. Is it because of the non likable, that likability factor, or is it rubbing you the wrong way?

What does it look like? But let me give you an example. So let's say, for instance, we have a Zoom, and there's twelve individuals on that Zoom call, and there's one person that is maybe rubbing you the wrong way, or you have a hard time liking. And anytime that they pipe up or raise their hand or share information or do whatever, it may almost just make your blood boil. Right. And again, I would highly suggest, like their actions are their actions. How you receive that is on you. It's absolutely on you.

Right. So when I'm in a meeting, let's call it, I'm going to revert back to five years ago, right? And it was these four people that we're meeting with together, and one individual I didn't necessarily have the best relationship with. You know, I showed up to that meeting and I'm sure there was probably some nails on chalk moments and all those things that were coming out when said individual was delivering what I thought was non likable information, non likable actions, non likeable or otherwise.

But I never let it affect me. I never let those things bug me. Those things get to me, and those things frustrate me. What I cared about was his action. His action, what he was taking, what he was delivering, how did he provide value to the company, how was he accelerating? Different aspects of the business. So again, it's not about you in that moment. It really isn't. It's not about you. It's about them and their message and taking you and the emotional side out of it. Try to make it as black and white as possible, either.

Is the message accurate or is it not? Is the action the right action or is it not? Is the message to the rest of the team, the staff, other individuals you work with? Is it appropriate or is it not? Right, so again, try to separate those things out. Right. So again, taking the first part is communication. How you communicate, why you communicate, number two is their actions are their actions, right? We already talked about that. Right. You know, hurt people hurt people. And if they're trying to hurt people and they're trying to hurt you, you'll rise up above it.

And just don't let somebody else's actions affect you. Really try to separate yourself from those actions. Because at the end of the day, most individuals, sometimes, you know, when there's that likability factor, there's also a manipulation factor. And people try to, like, manipulate your feelings to feel away. Don't give them that power, don't give them that control. Show up to make sure that you worry about you in that moment, not somebody else. Okay? Hope that makes sense. So, starting again, the communication, moving into, you know, again, how.

How that affects you, how you will or won't let it affect you. And then last but not least, keep the big thing. The big thing. I cannot stress this enough, right? If you do not like somebody and you're struggling with somebody on your team, and you identify a communication standard, and you're not affected by some of the words or actions or whatever that's imposed upon you, and you come to a mutual level of respect. And last but not least, as you keep the big thing, the big thing, trust me when I tell you that John Doe or Sally Doe's actions will bug you less and less and less, right.

That you're keeping your eyes on the prize, the mission, the vision, the values of said entity or initiative, what you're driving that day. So, for example, let's say, for instance, I'm struggling with an employee, and I work at a hospital. And our group at the hospital are all the nursing team, right? And I struggle with one of the nurses. Number one, communication, right. We've identified communication strategy that works for us. We've even talked about it, right? To try to gain and garner that respect with one another.

Number two, I'm not gonna let their actions affect me whatsoever. And then last but not least, we're gonna keep the big thing, the big thing. Why are we showing up? Why am I coming to work? Why am I representing said entity? Why am I here? Is this in my core? Is this in my blood? And this is my passion? And if all those things line up, trust me when I tell you, the likability of an employee will turn to respect. It's not about if people like you. It's about if you can be respected and respect others.

Our world has always been circled around this like factor and likeability factor and taking the next step as a human being, as a person as a leader is really coming down to how well do you do with others when you don't necessarily like them? That's the challenge. Our world would be a much, much different place if we've identified how we can work with others, how we can debate with others, how we work with others when we don't like them. So always a challenge. I'm challenged just like everybody else on the planet of how to do this.

So again, I gave you three actionable steps and I would be honored to see if you would try that the next time that you have an employee that you struggle with on the like aspect is still follow that ABC approach and see how that works for you. Keeping the big thing, the big thing, taking, you know, good action when it comes to communication and making sure that your feelings are your feelings and not remember this, not being hurt by the actions of others. Do not let that affect your feelings to the best of your ability.

Have an amazing day. I hope this message on tales of leadership, tales of entrepreneurial ship. This one was leadership today. I hope it resonated with you and I hope it hits home. Have an amazing week. If you're in Minnesota, take in the sun, get out and get some steps and walk right. Think about this one, guys. If you take every 2 hours that 15 minutes break, right? So you have four different stretches. You take 15 minutes break, you get outside, you get that energy flowing, you get some steps going.

You just got 60 minutes of steps. 60 minutes of steps at 4 miles an hour. Do the math on that bed, bad boy. You're almost to ten k in steps. On your brakes. On your brakes. Think about that. Take action. Take action. Now, everybody, have an amazing week. I hope this sun is doing something for you all because it certainly is for me, too. Take care, guys. Thanks for your time and thanks for listening in.