Creating Self-Fulfilling Prophesies

Hey, Cadre family doctor Carey here today. I want to delve more into that topic of positive affirmations. I shared a video on this, and I want to just talk about it a little bit more in depth. And if you recall in that video, I shared about how when you speak things out loud into the universe, that you're actually putting out energy through sound waves into the universe. And then when you hear yourself saying those positive affirmations, such as, I am an inspirational person, I am powerful, I am respectful, I am inspiring, I am positive that even if you don't believe those things that you're saying, that eventually by hearing yourself say them out loud, you will start to believe them.

Because really, what we speak out loud becomes self fulfilling prophecies. And so I want to talk about this topic a little bit more in depth about the things that we speak over ourselves or the things that we say about ourselves, especially in conversation with other people. And as I was reflecting on this topic, I was reminded that I rarely, if ever, used the word can't because that is actually something my parents instilled in us growing up. And I really appreciate that value that they said to us, don't say the word can't.

That is not a word that is allowed in our household. Because when you say I can't do something, you're immediately discounting your ability to do it when you speak that out loud. And so they raised me with the mentality of, if I want something in life, I'm going to go after it and I'm going to get it, and just really to have that go getter achiever attitude. And it served me quite well. And I'm really appreciative of my parents for raising me without using the word can't. But what I didn't realize is that sometimes I would take that sentence and I would just speak it over myself in a different way.

For example, I have commonly said throughout my entire life that I'm not very athletic. I really struggled playing sports that involved any coordination, like throwing or catching a ball, anything like that. I was not somebody who excelled at softball, basketball. I did okay at soccer. So what I decided after a while was just, I'm not good at sports. So I said that about myself. I'm not athletic and I'm not good at sports. And most people that know me think that's just crazy. Why would you say that about yourself?

You're super athletic and you're really, actually good at sports, especially some of them that have come really naturally to me, like whitewater kayaking. And so I surprise myself when I end up being naturally good at something athletic, because I've said that about myself my entire life. And now, granted, this may be true. This may be a true thing, that I'm not athletic or I'm not good at sports. But let me tell you, my entire family is really athletic and good at sports. So, like, how did it completely miss me?

Well, it didn't, but my whole life, I have said that about myself. So instead of using the word can't, where I say I can't play softball, I can't learn basketball, I would just basically say I'm not good at it. And part of that, I can delve into another topic at a different time about basically my fear of failure. And if I wasn't catching on quick enough, I basically just quit because I didn't want to fail at it. But I really started thinking about the things that I say about myself, especially to other people, because I'm sure if I tell someone I'm not very athletic, they don't really think much of it.

They think, oh, she probably believes she's not very athletic. But when I say that out loud about myself, what that does is it creates that feedback loop in my brain that says, no, you're not good at that. And so therefore, why should you even try? So I've just been really conscious over the past six months to a year about the things that I speak about myself. And I've also started recognizing when people do this so that I can catch and correct them and say, you know what? Don't say that about yourself.

So, for example, you might say, I suck at writing. I used to say that about myself. Well, I actually published a book. Trust me, someone who sucks at writing is probably not going to publish a book. But I used to say that about myself. And sometimes if you think about the things that you speak about yourself, it's probably something that somebody told you at one point that then you accepted as true. But by doing that, you automatically switched your brain to believing that. And now you have this feedback loop of this thing that you say about yourself.

So I just want to encourage you to try a little exercise, if you're intrigued by this, to start writing down all of the things that you say about yourself that are negative, whether they're true or not, because a lot of times, the thing that we speak about ourselves might actually have a component of truth. I would not say that I am exceptionally coordinated at catching or throwing a ball, but that doesn't mean I can't do it. It doesn't mean I'm not good at it. It just doesn't mean that I'm like the next major league baseball player coming up.

So think about the things that you say about yourself. Write them down and really look at them and determine, are these true or not? And even if there is a component of truth about them, what do you actually want to believe about yourself? Because those are the things you should start speaking about yourself. So I started saying, instead of I suck at writing, you know, I'm looking to improve my writing, or I'm working on that right now. So instead of saying something like that about myself, even if it's in context to another person and they don't really care, what I hear myself say matters.

So I would encourage you to find another person as well, maybe that you want to work on this with, because the second you catch that person saying something like that negative about themselves, you can help be that accountability partner for them and basically say, I wonder if there's a different way you could phrase that, because I don't believe you suck at that. I don't believe you're not good at that. So I would just encourage you to try this exercise. And even though it sounds really simple, it's really helped change my narrative about the things I speak over myself and then those things that come true, because we're a constant work in progress.

We're all masterpieces of art, and there's no end to this until we die. So we have the constant ability to improve ourselves. And why not start speaking those things about ourselves that we want to improve? I'm working on my writing. I'm working on my athletic ability. You know, I might, I may not be the most top athlete, but I'm not even going to say that out loud about myself. I'm going to say, you know what? I'm working on getting better at throwing a ball. Yeah, I'm improving on that. Oh, I'm a horrible cook.

I'm working on getting better at cooking. I have a ways to go, but I would really like to learn how to be a better cook. So just really take a minute and think about those things that you say about yourself, because I guarantee as you change your narrative and you start speaking positive things about yourself, you start having a more positive outlook on life and really just a more positive outlook on everything you encounter on a daily basis. I hope this exercise was helpful and this tidbit was informational for you today.

Thanks for joining me. God bless.