What’s In Your Toolbox?

You know, had to do the pull away. Hi. I mean, it was good. Hi, everyone. It's Tuesday. It's one of those funny Tuesdays that come after a holiday. Oh, the Tuesdays that come after a holiday are so weird. I luckily just worked all weekend, so I guess today kind of feels like a Tuesday. Does anybody else have those? Especially you. You're a mom. Other moms watching. You're coming right into summer break, so there's a lot of moving parts, a lot things to figure out with schedules and new schedules.

So 100%. Let's throw a holiday weekend in there. How about we? Let's do it. I know I woke up feeling excited and prepared, but I agree. I think this is like an end of year. Like, take a deep breath. And now we also need to figure out what the summer routine looks and feels like. So if you are here and you're feeling a little bit of that as well, we like to call that clearing. We both worked for. Hi, Risa. Hi, Risa. We both worked for Lululemon. And one thing they did that was super helpful, probably not helpful in every circumstance in your life was allow us, when we got to our shift, to do a clearing, which just meant we cleared anything that was mentally blocking us from showing up fully on the floor at our shift.

So just what Jill said. Hi. I'm a little, you know, all over the place because my schedule at home is crazy. So just want to gift that to you as something to utilize as a mini tool for this toolbox, if you will, so you can go into new situations, whether it's new hour to hour in your day or new meeting somebody new and clear all the distractions that you have so you can be present. So thanks for being present with us. It is Tuesday. We're coming up on the end of May. We are ramping up into summer, which is really exciting.

And I think what we want to talk about today is an extension of really what we've talked about over the last couple of weeks. We talked a lot about relationship capital last week, and Jill and I got a fun email in our inbox this morning that said, hi, my name is so and so. And I met Jill in a dressing room back in 2017. And I've been following your journey with girls mentorship, and I want to enroll my daughter, which in and of itself is incredible. But really, what I want to derive out of that is one of my favorite all time quotes from the Will Smith book.

And if you don't know Will Smith, he is a huge actor, has starred in some of the most incredible blockbuster films that we have had the privilege to see in this last, what, century? And if you grew up in the nineties, big Willie's style. Big Willie's style was all the rage. What was the tv show? Why am I drawing a blank? Fresh Prince of Bel Air, baby. I live in Bel Air. God, how can I forget about that? Totally. So he had just struck his first ever record deal, and he was getting ready to go on tour for the first time.

And he paints the picture in a way that he was getting on the tour bus and he, like, looked back and his little granny was there and she said, now, be careful, will. Just, you need to treat everybody basically with kindness and respect because you never know who you're going to have to meet again on the way down. And that has stuck with me and been something that Jill and I have adopted into our business like none other. How are you treating people in your life? Because you don't really know when that relationship might come back around.

So Jill, I can only imagine, in a dressing room in some random store, chatting it up with a stranger like she does to this day, made such an impression on another woman that she continued to follow Jill's story, which obviously has taken many paths to this day to want to involve her daughter in our programs in present time. It's so cool. These are the emails that remind me when you are so much in the doing, it just regrounds you in why you're doing this in the first place and who you are. Cause at the end of the day, I didn't know that girls mentorship or Mary and I would even be in a partnership three years later.

Or, I mean, it was 2017, five years later. But what that reminds me of is you never know who's watching. So, yes. Am I truly this person on and off this screen? Absolutely. And the cool part about it is I don't even remember what we talked about. I remember meeting her and us having this awesome conversation. She was in a transitional period. So was I. And I remember us walking away, exchanging phone numbers and staying connected. And little did I know that she was following us this entire time to then say, this is what my daughter's been asking for, and you guys solve the problem for what she wants.

I'm getting ready to fire off this email just to say how excited we are, but how cool. As a reminder, whether you own your own business or whether you are in corporate or whether you are just a parent and not just you are a parent, you never know how you can make an impression or impact or influence somebody by just showing up, being yourself. Well, I think what I want to derive from that is what you just said. How do you just be yourself and how is it congruent through all areas of your life? So that's something that we've landed on called your personal style.

And it doesn't mean style. I know we have a stylist watching, one who gifted me with this headband, so I feel quite stylish right now, but it has little to do with what I'm wearing. That is a piece of it. However, it's your character, your substance, and your style. So if your style is off and it differs from your character, that's when people get those red flag or pink flag moments where they say something about you is off. Like, I didn't jive with that person and I can't quite put my finger on it.

When your character, your substance and your style are all congruent with one another, you get to show up fully. You. Whether that's you as having an expressive, loud, exuberant day or that's you having a down day, you are the same through and through and through. So what are your values? What do you find important? How are you expressing it? Through your body language and your actions. And then, yes, there is some style that goes along with it in terms of the way you're dressing. But if I'm somebody who pops on this screen and says, I am extroverted, hello, look at me.

But you see me in a room and we meet face to face and my body language is this and my head is down, you're not going to take me as an extroverted person and you're going to say, wait a minute, she shows up so differently online, her actions are not matching her words. And you don't have to be extroverted, but don't claim to be if that is not congruent with who you actually are in life. And I think that email that we received this morning was such just a beautiful example of the congruency that Jill has carried through her life about being this person who is outgoing and friendly and smiley and aiming to make people's experience with her better because of who she is.

The way that we teach our girls to is your insides need to match your outsides. So if you're out, if you're spending a lot of time on how you look, but inside it doesn't match, not congruent. That's where. That's where this work comes to play. So curious for you, how much time do you actually spend on yourself, on your hair, on the way that you dress on? Do you obsess over it? Because I know sometimes I do as well. And if you spend that much time on your outward appearance, how do you also spend that much time on.

On your inward appearance? Because truly, that's the essence. That's your essence? Yes. Like, do you want your insides to match your outsides and your outsides to match your insides? Yeah, but sometimes we mask it because of the way that we look or the way that we want to fit in. Or it's easy to mask it. Or it's easy to mask it. I can put on some real cute clothes and do my makeup and hair in a way that people won't question if something's going on on the inside. And it's a very easy way for me to destroy from my insides, potentially not matching my outsides totally.

And I think it's okay. I love that Mary even made that call out. It's okay to not be okay some days if you show up in a mood. Okay. Wouldn't it be cool if you actually said, like, I just, I'm not feeling it today, and allow other people to support you through it? Because, again, we don't want to. We don't want to interfere on other people, but it's a way to practice showing up 100%, authentically, 100% you, good days and bad days. And with that, that really wraps up. Today is May 30. It is still mental health awareness month all of May.

So that was a really good call out as well, in terms of it's okay not to be okay. What character, substance, and style, the concepts of that gives you permission to do is to show up fully regardless of the mood that you're in now. It doesn't give you an excuse to be an a hole. We're not saying that. Don't spill your negativity in your bad day onto somebody else. That is not taking care of who you are and being respectful towards others. But it is okay not to be okay and ask for help, love, and support.

And there's a really big difference in that. So take that. I want you to take that. Well, we'll actually put in the community feed, a breakdown of your character, your substance, and your style, so you can kind of check out, like, where you fall. There's 15 different categories around them as a whole. So we'll pop that in the community feed, and then we just have a little psa. Next Tuesday is Tuesday, May 6, and we will not be on live because we will be in the middle of leading our 2023 summer camps.

And Risa, who's on right now, will be with us that day. So I could try to get a little behind the scenes, but just in case you are wondering where we are next Tuesday, we'll be immersed in teaching teen and tween girls these skills so they can go on and prosper in their lives as well. So thank you for your grace. Thank you for showing up for us. Thank you for watching these videos and applying these things into your life. Because. Because when you get better, we all get better. Oh, I love it. Mike Drop.

I was just gonna say, just remember that you always wanna leave people better than how you found them. That's the challenge this week. And we will see you in two weeks. Two weeks. And go make will Smith's grandmother proud. Don't make her mad. Don't make her mad, Granny Smith. Bye, everyone.