3 Years Without Booze

Hey, everybody. Here we are. What another great day. It's gonna be a hot one here in Minnesota. You know, I just. I just have to celebrate. I'm just celebrating a big, big, big day. You know, two days ago was Father's day. Yesterday was juneteenth, and today is officially my three years without any booze, no alcohol. And I just wanted to take you a little bit through my journey today. And I'm also going to be sharing with you my contact information. If there's anybody here, family, friends, relatives, cousins, brothers, anybody who ever needs help or wants to talk to somebody, please give them my contact information.

I'll be more than happy to help them at any given time. For a company that I started seven plus years ago, excuse me. For a company that started seven plus years ago, my number is still actually the number on the main page for individuals that need help. So my personal cell phone, I still am the one that take all the calls. I usually get, like, 15 to 20 calls a day somewhere on that ballpark from family, friends, relatives, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I live for that call, and I live for to be able to help and support people.

So that's what I'm here for. And so I just want to let you know that at any given time, and I sincerely mean this, whether we have 300 people on the platform or 5 million people on the platform, my number, my contact information is always going to be accessible to anybody ever on Cadre. But. So I'm just going to take you a little bit through my journey. Right. 15 years ago. Excuse me. 15 years ago, my life was just spiraling out of control. I was divorced, newly divorced. I just had a baby boy. I started grad school, two tracks of grad school.

I had a new job. I was fired from a new job. I started having debilitating panic attacks and anxiety. And it would be coupled all with this severe drinking problem, right. Not the best recipe for success by any stretch of imagination. And more importantly, moreover, I had no identity and no purpose. I had no identity and no purpose. I didn't know why I was on this planet. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I had not the slightest clue. But my life started to kind of transition and kind of change, you know, ten to twelve years ago, you know, I found myself being able to, you know, get off the horse for a little bit, but then I would jump right back on the saddle, right?

I would get off the horse. I'd jump right back on the saddle where I'd make it, like, three or four days. I would crush life. I'd crush my job, I would crush my relationships, I'd crush my responsibilities, and I would fall off the wagon for, you know, two, three days, be hungover, binge watch tv, all those other things, and I would jump right back on, and I would do the same thing again, right? And I would be like, I got this life, and I would kind of just do that over and over again. So I would say I'd be living like 75, 25, 75, you know, clean, without alcohol, 25 without.

But that 25 without is with the quintessential 80 20 rule. That 25% ruled my life. Right? And what I mean by that 25% ruled my life is that anxiety, those panic attacks, wanting to drink, you know, not really understanding why, you know, I wanted to, but I started to understand that, you know, I was kind of wired a little differently, right? Like, I was. I was kind of like an all or nothing type of person, right? So, you know, just all or nothing type. And when I kind of, kind of found that. That all or nothing didn't really bode well for me on the booze side of things, you know, is when about the same time I met my wife, that I.

My wife now that I started to understand that I need to make some changes. I need to make some changes. So one thing that I did is I left corporate America, and I took a job at the Health and Human services field. So I'm forever grateful to an individual. Her name is Roxanne vould from Hazel and Betty Ford foundation. That gave me a chance. What she didn't know, and she's probably going to hear this sometime, or maybe in the story form or et cetera. What she didn't know is I would drive 40 minutes up from White Bear Lake to Hazel and Betty Ford foundation, and I would sit there in my car, and I would sit there for 30, 40 minutes listening to my boy Michael Seeley, to try to reduce my panic and my anxiousness before I would walk into work.

And I would do that almost every day, right? Almost every single day. And what's really crazy is I would ride up, carpool some individuals sometimes, and they had no idea how bad my heart was racing the entire time up there. And I would always have to, like, go into the bathroom, go for a walk, do something to try to reduce my anxiety, my panic attack, before I perform at work. Then more often than not, I would absolutely perform. Right. But, you know, quitting drinking at that particular time, I would say I was on the right path.

I was on the right path, but I would be on the right path for two months. Right? I would be on the right path for two months. And then I would go to a guys event or we go for a golf thing or we go for whatever, and I'd cave in and I would drink. And when I would drink, it's not just like one, two, or three. We're talking 717 type of thing, right? Or I would go, go, go. And then finally there would be a happy hour. And then at a happy hour, I'd always kind of be looking over, like, am I three to one in these individuals?

Right? And so again, you know, going back to that mindset of, like, is this. Is this right for me? And, you know, how am I showing up? You know, can I actually just drink alcohol, you know, and sit here and have a good conversation with somebody? Can I have one? Can I choose? None. And I just realized real quickly, like, for. For me anyhow, that I needed to make some drastic changes. What ended up happening ultimately, through this leap of faith at Hazel and Betty Ford foundation is I started a company called North Star Behavioral Health.

You guys have heard me talk about that kind of a nausea that was a little over seven years ago. Through that, jumping into Northstar behavioral health. They always say, you know, it's hard to select a company at the right time. Well, check this one out. I had four kids. I had four kids under eight during that time, starting a company at Northstar Behavioral Health. Four kids working unbelievable amount of hours around the clock, doing whatever it takes, supporting my wife, doing everything. But I would still find myself kind of, like, in that binge phase a little bit where I would.

I would go and I would go and I'd go on and I'd binge. I would go and I'd go, I'd go and I'd binge. And I just didn't like the person that would show up. And most importantly, if I'm working in the health and human services field with individuals suffering from opioid use disorder, stimulus disorder, etcetera, or have had problems with alcohol in the past, I couldn't have that be my story. Showing up to this company and this business, I felt like just a fraud. So I needed to 100% cut it and cut it all because, you know, even, like, my anxiety and panic would still be, you know, rather fever pitch.

You know, I call it three plus years ago, some during some of those times. But three years ago, it was Father's Day, right? So Father's Day, the 21st Father's Day, I went to a buddy's cabin. I was at a buddy's cabin Saturday night. Had a blast. Had an unbelievable time with friends, of course. Drank my face off. And I said right then and there on that morning when I woke up, I said, that's the last sip of alcohol ever have in my life. I'm never going to go through another Father's day where I don't show up my best self, that I waste any time on this planet.

And from that moment three years ago, I pushed all my chips in on myself, making good decisions and not drinking and being the best father, being the best husband, being the best business partner, being loyal to every individual that I work with and help and serve, showing up in a better way, continuing to bring gratitude and energy, effort and any possible thing that I could into this planet. But three years ago, if you look at my, let's call it timeline of life, you know, 39 years before and, you know, three years ago to today, you know, the amount of, let's call it marathons, half marathons, etc.

That I've ran prior, you know, one, one half marathon that's, you know, on record, a bunch of five ks and stuff like that. And then one longer run right where I did it on my own. But then, you know, post through three years ago, right to today, I have ran 140 half marathons, right, 130 some odd half marathons. I've ran several 20 miles races. I've ran a 30 miles. I've ran a 43 miles. And then I did 107, right? So in that same, that three year timeframe, what I'm trying to tell you today, guys, is like I've been in the dungeon of life.

I've lived in the gutter. I've lived in the gutter with panic attacks, anxiety, depression. But I choose to live in a very different gutter today. I choose to. I choose to live in hard every day. I choose to make sure that I'm choosing to live in a area of comfort zone and growth. I'm choosing to be uncomfortable. I'm choosing that I want to endure through an amazing amount of suffering. Because I know what real sufferings like, like real hundred percent suffering where I understand, I've been there.

I know what it's like where you just don't even want to wake up the next day to now. I get to choose how I want to wake up. I get to choose my attitude. I get to choose the energy I put out in the world. I get to choose the things that I want to bring. I got to choose my mindset. I get to choose the development of evolution of me as a person, right? So this three years today means more than you will ever know. It means more than you'll ever know of the sacrifice and all the things. Over the last 10, 15, 20 years that I've lived through.

Anxiety, panic attacks, booze, horrible decisions, a divorce, a this. This. I can go on and on and on of all the stuff that's coupled with depression and feeling like s*** and feeling horrible about yourself. But I've learned to love myself, right? I've. I've learned to love myself. I've learned to figure out, you know, my identity. I've learned about anxiety. I've learned about panic attacks. I've learned about alcohol. I've learned about my central nervous system. I've learned about all those things.

And now it's like I just don't waste a second about anything that either comes in my body, wears on my body, puts on my body. Is it part of my time? Right? It's got to be a massive frickin yes for me, or it's always a no. And I sincerely mean that is all my yeses. Supporting individuals with anxiety, depression, substance abuse. Yeah, of course. I will bend over backwards for individuals to try to help them and support them, hence why Cadre was born. So we can share these real lived experiences and stories with the world, and we hope that we connect and resonate with every individual that's dealing with some of these things.

Or maybe understanding why my brother, sister, cousin, relative struggling or maybe why an employee is not showing up his best self. You know how many jobs I've been fired from when I wasn't my best self? 15, 1314 years ago. Like, three. Right? How amazing would have been if one of those individuals came up to me and said, you know, are you okay? Are you okay? Do you want to talk about this? That was never the case, right? That was never the case, but it can be the case today. It can be the case where we show up for people and say, are you okay?

Is there something we can support you with? Do you need help? Do you want to talk about it? Right? And that's where we come into play. That's us. That's Cadre. That's what we're here for, for you. So I can go on and on and on about this, but, you know, my wife has been an incredible asset in my life, having that support system and working together with somebody who wants to go as deep with you in life, who wants to change the world as much as you do, you know, in her own regard, in my and my own, regardless.

But I encourage you to find those people and find yourself in this journey. Whether you're suffering from substance abuse, alcohol, mental health, you name it, on the left, or whether you're not still finding your identity and your purpose and your passion and your why is equally as important. But today, again, I wanted to tell you that there hasn't been many days that I'm as proud as I am today, that I've made a decision. I've stuck to my word. I said something that I was going to do. I maintained consistency, I continued discipline, and I never wavered.

And to me, I think that means a lot. I think that means a lot in this world where words don't go as far as actions, right? But today, I can live into that, and I can live into that. And I'm not always perfect all the time, but, man, if I can shoot 95% with the rest of the stuff, that's amazing. But this one, this one's 100% or nothing, right? So I can look at you in the eye, in the screen, and tell you, till I'm gone, I will never have another sip of alcohol in my life. And that's just a fact. That's a choice.

That's a decision. That's a concerted effort that I will make and will continue to make for the rest of my life. And it's important for me, it's important for my wife, it's important for my kids. It's important for my future. It's important for Cadre, it's important for the next, you know, maybe businesses that involved or a part of, but this is a choice that I'm making, and I'm sticking to it. So I hope that this message hit home one way or another. I hope that you can find ways that you can be proud about yourself.

Short wins, long wins, big wins, whatever that might be. And again, we're here to support one another. So I want to give this information to you. So at any given time, if you ever find yourself struggling or otherwise, of course, you can always call the 9888 line. But please, by all means, El Wendland, you can look me up, of course, on the Cadre website, lwenlnadre IO. Please reach out at any given time, I'll be more than happy to help you or help walk individuals through that need help. Text, call, etcetera.

651-900-9664 that's my personal cell phone. Please, if you ever need something, please reach out. I am not a therapist. I am not licensed. I am none of the above. But I'm more than happy to help direct you in the right direction, to get the help you need and support in the process, because one of the hardest things in the world to do is actually figure out what the h*** to do when you have a problem. So I'm more than happy to support that. Please tune in to my buddy Chris, Chris Edrington on this type of topic.

Areas of consideration. It's amazing what Chris has been through, what he talks about, the reality of his life and his situation. I look up to him. He's amazing. Katie Donovan talks a lot about this as well with her daughter that's been suffering from opioid use disorder for years and years and years. And her daughter's been doing so well and then will struggle and so well and struggling. So, you know, Katie's been on this rollercoaster of life, too, you know, not personally, but with, with her daughter.

And so that's something that we're always here to support her and her family as well. And then last but not least is on Sunday night. Sunday night, an individual that I know from seven plus years ago is going to be running AA meetings Sunday night, virtual meetings. Virtual AA meetings Sunday night at 630 Central. If you're struggling, if you know somebody struggling, if you want to give somebody, you can have your screen on off. It does, doesn't matter. But maybe show up and, you know, be a part of community that, you know, maybe you need.

Right. And so, like I said, my, my buddy Tyler Steinhauser is going to be running that meeting. And I hope that it works for you to show up if you need the help that you so desperately need at the time or if you want to continue on in the journey with your recovery and your sobriety. So cheers, everybody. Three years in running, got a lot more coming where, that's, where that came from. Okay. Take care of you guys. One love.